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S04 Ep 41 Resolving the Sting of Conflict within the Church.

Man Talk / Will Hardy and Roy Jones Jr.
The Truth Network Radio
October 16, 2022 4:00 pm

S04 Ep 41 Resolving the Sting of Conflict within the Church.

Man Talk / Will Hardy and Roy Jones Jr.

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October 16, 2022 4:00 pm

Welcome to the Man Talk Radio Podcast, with your Hosts Will Hardy and Roy Jones Jr.  This week Will is discussing how conflict arises in the Church and how we can resolve these conflicts.

Our ministry is devoted to breaking down the walls of race and denomination so that men, who are disciples of Christ, may come together to worship as one body


And ministry sponsored by GW CM talking and walking Christian men's ministry where we're devoted to bringing down man got assigned close party and Roy Jones Junior will welcome to man talk Roy could be with us today, but as always you are here and we are thankful to God that you are if you have attended any fellowship in within the week, month, year, and you get into a congregation maybe a congregation where you have been fellowship in for many many years. Or it may be a new fellowship that you decided to attend because maybe someone open up an invitation for you to come out and fellowship with them and during the fellowship during the worship or even the message you found that there was something that you perhaps disagreed with and you know we all have disagreements when it comes to things. Perhaps that we read and we find that the things that we really may conflict with the things that we hear so we have a question about that now. That doesn't necessarily mean that what you hear is incorrect because it may not be something that you have been open to study or maybe something new to you. We are always faced with new challenges when it comes to the word of God on a daily basis. If we have been in the Lord for any extended period of time. These things can turn into conflicts you have individual church members. Perhaps that have been a fellowship for a while and they feel like that they have the ability to save this data on the other over someone else, or that opinion should way more heavier than someone else. We all experienced this and so Jesus tells us because conflicts are are going to exist in any and every church, and it's going to exist because we have people who were and maybe still are practicing sin so you have people who are actually regenerated and you have people who are sort of like back-and-forth on the wall and you have some people who are simply over the wall and they have not been converted, so you you have these three groups of people.

If you will, in each and every one of us.

We had been exposed to certain things in our life. We have heard certain ministries. Her certain messages.

Her certain people within the church. When we find that conflict arise.

Maybe someone who is coming in. That's should be put into a position of teaching or something like that and we disagree with the fact that they should be teaching and so we go to the leadership of the church and voice our opinion or we go to committee and we voice our opinion so we have all these avenues these things lead to conflict and conflict in every church.

I think it shows that that church and each and every church that exists needs to grow in some capacity so it's nothing wrong with conflict.

The thing about it is if we don't deal with conflict in a healthy manner and what can happen is this conflict can over time to produce roots of bitterness and deep conflict in deep wounds with the people and then you have people leaving the church because of this that or the other thing but Jesus in Matthew chapter 18. He told us how to deal with conflict and so were going to look at that particular verse of Scripture from the sense of what someone else might say if you give these particular verses of Scripture to them how they might respond and what they might say because all of us. We have a tendency some time to say well you know that what you're saying is the word of God. You know it's right but and so we always have that. But in there because we want to ensure that perhaps what what we hold to is true is going to be heard by everyone.

So this is what Jesus said in Matthew 18. He said if your brother sins against you, go tell him not notice the next word. His fall between you and him alone so you go to that particular brother and you tell their brother how you have hurt me now again so we we got a look at this from the standpoint of the person who was speaking and who will the person who receives this map the person who receives this is that if they go to the person and they say what you mean you'll fall this is not my fault it's your fault. So now you have this your fault my four fall situation, but see what Jesus is saying here is that if this individual is a brother in Christ or sister in Christ, and they indeed want to reconcile what ever it is a person think that they've done to another person, then you want to get that on the table and talk about. I remember the church member coming to me some years ago and saying that this sister wouldn't talk to her and so I asked a while.

She said well I don't know why because I felt like I didn't do anything wrong to hurt now again so she was speaking from the standpoint that she believes she didn't do anything wrong, but the sister actually came and told her some the things that she said that may have hurt her so see you have a situation where a person who comes in, say, I have this fall against you and you hurt me there going to come back and say well you misunderstood what I was saying you didn't quite get what I meant when I said what I said so see you.

You have this going back and forth but again Jesus is saying here that if a brother is truly open to the spirit of God and want to reconcile the end. If you come and say this thing hurt me that you said or did, then, that brother is going to be open to say oh however you receive whatever it is that I say it porch you then I apologize. Even though you may not remember or even though you think you didn't do anything to that person. A person was hurt, nonetheless, and see this, I think, in turn, tells the strength and the character and the stability Christian stability of that brother who receives what the brother says who comes to them and say that I have a fault against you and this is something that we need to reconcile before we can continue. So Jesus is saying here that you have to be open to everything someone else says because we can't remember everything we did to someone we can't even remember what we said to someone we can remember what we ate.

A week or two ago so let alone all of these things, you know, it just reminds me when a person gets on the stand testifies in a court of law, and the trial may start two years after the incident happened and so now you're trying to remember two years ago. What happened, and you may be unsure of all of the facts that was stated. This is why sometimes the police interview you or you take Whetstone's depositions you know to get get these things out and get them on paper so there can be a recollection when it comes down to the prosecutor prosecuting the case or the defense attorney using some of these things. That's was said during the deposition.

To defend his or her client so you have things like this that go about in the church, but we want to make sure that if a person does not remember what they said tour certain individual. It does not mean that you did not hurt them by what you say so again you totally might be innocent of anything that the person believes that you said or did, but receive it and say I apologize in the name of Jesus.

Even though I don't know or even though I cannot remember what was stated, I just want apologize and come to you and be that brother who is a champion for faith and a champion for the word of God and do what is right in the sight of God is doesn't necessarily mean that you bowing down to someone, but what it means is that it shows that you are strong brother or sister who was willing to lay aside anything that you may have seen, or anything that you may have done and it may have been received incorrectly so do that and you will be a doer of the word. He goes on to say, if he hears you. And if that brother hears you, you have gained your brother.

In other words, the, the reconciliation process has came about that brother has received what you had to say perceive Jesus leaves this open the say if he heard you meaning that if he receive what you said and if he receive what you said. Then you gained your brother because he is open to reconcile whatever it is you think he did or if he actually did that in remember that he did it during that reconciliation process and it doesn't have to go any further than that is is is what I like about the word of God that is just it just opens up our understanding gives us everything we need were coming up a break right now but we come back with us. Continue talking about this reconciliation process and if a person is hurt in the church. What they should do will be right back. After this, talking and walking Christian men's ministry would like to invite you to our monthly men's breakfast held every first, third and fifth Friday of each month. You enjoy fun, fellowship in the word of God is break bread together. The meetings are held at First Christian Church 1130 N. Main St., Kernersville, start promptly at 6:30 AM and have a hard stop at 8:00 AM. Come join your host will Hardy and Roy Jones Junior will pray every body we are back talking about this thing that hurt Christians in the church and what we should do as born-again believers that God has given us a process to follow and if we follow the process in which she's given us that we can never fail, we can never fail God because we being obedient to his word and never failed each other because we come into that reconciliation.

That we are receiving what God has to say. Now we're continuing because in verse 16 he says, but if he will not hear so see either he's going to hear, even though you can't remember what you said or if he received it wrongly.

It's okay. Just let God bless you to confess. Be open to the spirit of God and go from there and you will gain his trust he will gain your trust.

The reconciliation process will be in effect and you can go forward and let the will of God be done. See the other thing here, I think, is that you also keep this amongst yourself and Jesus saying if you can handle this privately then go ahead and handle it privately between the two of you, but because he said if he will not hear, then Christ knows that there's going to be some people who simply says I don't know what you're talking about or you receive what I said incorrectly, or is not my fault. Is your fault for doing what you did, which caused me to respond the way I did so, but he says okay if that doesn't work then take two or three people with you to witness every word that is said between you, so that you can perhaps have an arbitrator, you know, an arbitrator someone when you have two parties who simply can't come to an agreement on anything if they have a written agreement or verbal agreement, and they can't come to an understanding as to who should do what even though the agreement is in place, then you have this arbitrator and what they do is they come in and I say okay let's look at the facts.

Let's look at the agreement.

Let's look at what the agreement says that both of you obviously agree to and let's go through it step-by-step. And those things that was stated after the agreement signed to show either the person who establish initially established agreement didn't honor the terms of the agreement, or if the individual who did not initiate the agreement but signed the agreement they miss understood the language of the agreement and seek. This is where we come into issues and they always occur in every aspect of life.

They always occur that miss understanding which leads to a miss characterization of justice.

So if you're trying to come to a point to where you establish yourself and say okay I'm establish. It took me this this and this amount of time to get to where I am today and now all of a sudden you want to ruin it to me by damaging my character and we had this agreement, together well see this is why witnesses have to be present to say this is what was said this is what you agreed on.

This is what was stated etc. etc. so if they have to go take this to a judge and let someone outside of the church handle this, then you know you want to suffer whatever consequences that that particular Joe's is going to lean on you all of this is what Jesus saying should be happening with in the confinements of the church that we should not have to go outside the church in order to deal with in eternal church conflicts. We should not have to that does not say that we won't have to. But we should not have to because Jesus Christ hath laid the grounds for us to establish and render all of what we say by the mouth of two or three witnesses and then he says if he still refuses to hear the witnesses or to agree with the arbitrator.

Now you can have an arbitrator within the church.

You have to have has some type of outside person comes in that arbitrator is really not a judge in a sense, they are only looking at the terms of what you agreed upon, and if a person did not hold to their agreement. Whatever it was, then a course outside judge. The one outside the church.

They'll say well this is simply a breach of contract with the arbor church can say the same thing. The arbitrator can say you know if you do take this beyond what I'm telling you here today and that's what the judge is going to tell you that you breached your agreement.

If the individual actual done it in a cast course on using this as an example. Mind you, there's all kinds of other issues that can go on in the church that we need to come to an agreement on so this is just an example of using that if you have an agreement between two people and then one says one thing the other person says another thing then you go to the church you go to that individual. Tell them your issue. If if they don't listen, take two or three witnesses and then he says further, if that person doesn't listen then you take it to the church body take it to them and let the church.

So now you've gone from having an a agreement or disagreement. If you will, between the two of you that should've been handled on a one-to-one basis. Now it's been moved to two or three witnesses and so one or both of you still doesn't agree with the two or three witnesses. So now you know you everything that you stated in reference to the agreement is now open to the church body. Now there are several ways in which churches have interpreted this particular passage. I've heard wonderful to give you a couple but I've heard more than a couple but I'll give you these 21 I've heard it interpreted that he, she, he or she should come before the entire body of the church and to talk about whatever issues that either one or both of them have with respect to what they've heard of how person have hurt them. I've also heard it stated that they should take it to the church body or committee not necessarily the whole body, but a committee within the leadership you know Pastor, the deacon board.

The elders of the church you take it to them and let them hear the matter and make a determination if a person steals doesn't want to hear what ever the church decides, then he is to be treated according to the word of God here like a heathen and a tax collector.

What what Jesus is saying here is that if you do things according to the Scripture and you are open to the Scripture to receive whatever the Scripture has to say. If you are brother or sister in the Lord and you believe what the word of God says and you want to truly reconcile those things that you want to reconcile then go according to this process and the process is foolproof. What makes this process not foolproof is when either one or the other person who made that agreement or that have done something to another person that that person disagrees with. So now you have all of this animosity between these individuals and as long as they are members within the church. They may not go on speaking terms for months or even years. I've seen that happen within the church and it divides the church because you have a brother or sister there. Talk to this group of people and in the other brother sister talked of that group of people and so about the issue and now instead of them having the matter settled in private between the two of them, or between two or three witnesses, or even the church elders and leadership of the body. Now you have individuals all throughout the church making their own assumptions about what you could've did differently or what the other person could've done differently to see all of this brings about chaos and confusion in the course is what the enemy wants. He wants chaos and confusion.

Jesus goes on to say sure that I sent you. Whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, whatever you loose on earth loose and have intercourse. This this has to do with the process in which God have laid out when godly out of process on how to deal with sin is saying that if you bind something on earth as you do it in accordance with the word of God, then that thing will be bound because it's already bound in heaven, on the other side of that if you loose that thing.

In other words, if you release a person of some sinful act because the church body, the deacons and the elders and the pastor have come to an agreement on the matter then it's already done.

But see, they can't do that on their own accord or their own power they have to do with with the authority that Jesus Christ has given them based on what the word of God states Jesus is saying it has to be done in this process get together resolve the matter between the two of you. If you can't bring two or three witnesses.

If you can't resolve it then take it to the church body and if it if they still will come to an agreement then you treat the individual as a heathen or a tax collector. A course heathen tax collector.

It is the sense of how individuals view them as a person who you know use their authority in a way that was unconventional so in a heathen basically is someone who simply don't want to obey the truth, don't want to follow the truth. If you have a person who say that they are a born-again believer in Jesus Christ and they don't want to come to an agreement because or follow the process in which God laid out on what to do. That's how the individual should be treated.

That's not to say that they are a heathen or they are a tax collector.

Jesus is saying you would treat them as though they were a heathen or as a tax collector because they're saying one thing and they're not doing another thing is� Some pretty important teaching because I think what it does is opens us up to no that if a person decides that they want to leave a particular body then you have to wonder where they are born-again or were they ever in line with the body to begin with these questions, we have to ask ourselves, you know, because if you want to walk with a particular person or group of people and you going to get those things out. Then praise God, let it be done so we are coming to the end of the broadcast. But we want to thank God for you. Thank you for all of the again emails, and some things that you have saved in reference to the ministry. We love you and we will see you on the next time God bless you and as we concluded today showing GW CMM Christian men's ministry building a community of men to be servant leaders in their home communities, churches, and work environment. Check us out at our website for upcoming events and regular scheduled meetings. Don't forget to send us an email or topics that you would like us to visit in the future. Thank you for joining us today on man talk visit us in WC

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