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Does the Bible Command Me to Reconcile with My Abuser?

Core Christianity / Adriel Sanchez and Bill Maier
The Truth Network Radio
September 26, 2022 4:13 pm

Does the Bible Command Me to Reconcile with My Abuser?

Core Christianity / Adriel Sanchez and Bill Maier

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September 26, 2022 4:13 pm

Episode 1062 | Adriel Sanchez and Bill Maier answer caller questions.

Show Notes


Questions in this Episode


1. Does 2 Peter 3:9 refer to a specific group of people or the whole world?

2. Does the Bible require survivors of sexual assault to reconcile with their abusers?

3. Should my friend get re-baptized if she was baptized as a baby?

4. How should I understand Isaiah 46:10?

5. Can fallen angels repent?

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GRACE – Godly Response to Abuse in a Christian Environment

Rid of My Disgrace: Hope and Healing for Victims of Sexual Assault by Justin and Lindsey Holcomb

Living on the Edge
Chip Ingram
Connect with Skip Heitzig
Skip Heitzig
Truth for Life
Alistair Begg

Does the Bible command me to reconcile with my abuser batch is one of the questions will be answering on today's addition of core Christianity will hi this is Bill Meyer along with Pastor Israel Sanchez. This is a radio program where we answer your questions about the Bible and the Christian life every day. Our phone lines are open right now at 833 the core that's 1-833-843-2673. You can also email us at questions at core, and first up today let's go to Tim calling in from Nebraska. Tim what your question for atrial radio yeah this is him so great start. Anyway, my question is second Peter 39 is that first pointed towards a certain group of people or is that for the whole world. Yeah. So second Peter chapter 3 the context here is the day the Lord in the final judgment that is coming and how we should live in light of that and Peter says in the previous chapter. Second Peter to. He had this long discussion about false teachers in the church leading people astray and a part of what they would say he goes on to express here in chapter 3. Is this are scoffing at this idea of love the Lord's coming. God isn't really going to judge the world to mean things are continuing as they as they've been continuing for so long and so that's a really assertive, minimizing that the judgment of God in Peter's point here is look God isn't taking his time. The reason you centrifugal asked the question why hasn't the Lord come back yet. Why is he tarrying why is he taking so long and and and Peter's boys look look one, God's timetable is different from ours. But here's the reason why God hasn't returned why Christ hasn't returned. It's because he's patient toward you, Peter says there an inverse nine not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance old me just read the verse. The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish but that all should reach repentance in here I think.

Specifically, he's talking to his audience to those Christians were scattered abroad that he's addressing but I think just more generally weak and we can take a step back and say this is why the final judgment has not happened because God is still drawing his people in from every nation, tribe and tongue bringing them to repentance and faith through Jesus Christ and so this should comfort us.

This should encourage us.

I think it just knowing God's kindness toward his people, God's patient towards his people and should should should aspirin us on to repentance. But to truly following the Lord, and so there's your answer.

Tim, this is specifically written to to the Christians that he's addressing but I think that we can you know give a broader application as well. God bless hey Tim, thanks so much for listening to core Christianity. If you have a question about the Bible or the Christian life. Here's the number it's 833 the core that's 1-833-843-2673 on Fridays program a drill you answer the question from a listener who had committed sins against others in his past and he was struggling on whether or not he should go to those individuals and ask for forgiveness, or whether, in some cases that could actually do more harm than good. And over the weekend we received voicemail messages from three women who actually wanted to comment on your response to that listener.

So here are those three voicemail messages and I about that and went back and read and you wouldn't barely be right or helpful to go back and back and I think that one. I called back and apologized again and had a really reconciled cool created the image of God as recognized there wrong and any right it would mean a lot to me.

The person who abused me, email or call me or any letter whatever and it was really on and are writing our light therapy.

After all, healing and coming from a sexual abuse are definitely on my inventor come to my door on the caller about number nine. I have been my mind out like the apologized in my life, survivors of abuse and just so grateful that they called in and shared their thoughts. I want to pray right now for them and also for all of you who are listening and you've experienced sexual abuse.

Physically, any kind of event but your survivor want to pray for you that the Lord would grant healing, and grace and guidance father for for our sisters who called in Lord for Bethany fermented for all those who are listening right now, Lord, who have experienced this this terrible trauma. This being sinned against. In this way we ask Lord God Almighty for your hand of mercy and healing. Lord, we know that that it's a process.

Lord, we know that these kinds of traumas, Lord, take time to heal and take to get restoration will we know that you are the God who is able to do that and so I pray for all those listening right now asking that you and your mercy would work in their lives that you would bring that healing that you would strengthen them Lord and and give give wisdom to your church. We know that this is this is something that is such a big issue. Lord God in the world but also in the church and so would we pray for wisdom for pastors and church leaders Lord is as they seek to protect the flock into care for all the sheep in our churches. Would you would you bless these women. Lord, would you bless all those listening right now who need your your help in your healing this area. In Jesus name, amen. I I just again so appreciate those three voices that we heard and and you know that that the question I was responding to initially write a summary was calling in St. will do I do I have to go and reconcile with this person that I've sinned against what they weren't talking in the call specifically that we answered about sexual abuse, but I did want to say look if if you are an abuser you don't you don't want to just sort of show up on your on your victim's doorstep. This person who is already been through so much trauma and pain and part of it.

The issue here is, especially with with sexual abuse of predators they can and will use all sorts of tactics anything that they can to get assertive window into the lives of others dictate to get control to exercise control even even apologies and so sometimes you know if if one if one strategy isn't working for manipulation and control that will switch it up and it can look really good.

It can look really sincere and I just want to be careful with that guy I want to make sure that were not encouraging that are providing room for that but at the same time.

I think that it is true that there there is hope and repentance that that the Holy Spirit can really work in an individual's life so that there grieved and convicted by their sins and they long to to express okay I need I need to say this was horrible what I've done. Please forgive me. Now is the best approach showing up at a person's house. No, I don't think something may be something like a letter could be helpful in an different people, especially special survivors of abuse are going to receive that differently and sleep there. There's a sensitivity factor there. I think true and genuine repentance looks like.

Not not trying to exercise any control in situations where where you know you're saying but now you need to treat me differently because I've I've asked for your forgiveness are now you need to me to let me back into your life again. That's one of the ways abusers will try to manipulate and steer the situation and so very complex, very complex and very difficult situations. But I think we can hold onto two things.

One, first and foremost we need to care for survivors of of abuse we need to focus on healing resources within the church because of the fact of the matter is people in our churches who are devastated by this, we just don't talk about it enough.

One of the resources we often will point to hear core Christianity is grace. Grace stands for godly response to abuse in a Christian environment. The website is net and they have some some really helpful resources even even resources for churches trainings for churches dealing with this, but also also just wonderful resources for survivors in terms of finding healing and and help and so very complex bill would you say them is not easy to just 30 give one answer, but I really want to make sure that were not were not encouraging or providing an open door for abusers to come to get a foothold again into those relationships. Man, II commend you for your answer there, it ruin your writers know it's no one-size-fits-all in the situation and often times for a victim if they been through therapy. If they got to come to a point of forgiveness. That's different from someone who maybe has never experienced that. So I think obviously there were very different responses and I'm glad you pointed out to the gentleman who originally called was not talking about sexual abuse.

He was saying he was struggling because AA says yes go and make her apology unless it could re-traumatize or hurt the person where he says what the Bible seems to say I should always go and try to repentant and make restitution. So yeah it's it's it's really a difficult issue I I'm really glad you addressed it from the full perspective because it needs to be and I'm sure there are many people listening today would say they have different opinions on that yet. And can I just say to survivors. There truly is hope and healing, and I mean obviously that there like I mentioned near the process getting getting care, having just even the conversation we need to open up about this more within the church and provide a space for people to process get people to the help that they need, whether that's therapy boy wouldn't that be wonderful if if churches you know that the deacons of the church started helping to pay for that kind of therapy for members of the church would experience this kind of of trauma, but there is hope in Christ, true hope for healing and and restoration and and just for for the experience of the grace of God for you. One of the textbooks that we also recommend written by a friend of mine named Justin Holcomb called rid of my disgrace and it's it's written for survivors to processing through these things and thinking about how the gospel applies to the situations is when you plug that book as well. Thanks for that. This is core Christianity with pastor Gabriel Sanchez yes we do tackle some tough topics on this program are always open to your questions about the Bible, the Christian life doctrine theology how your Christian walk intersects with what's happening in the world around us.

We are always open to that.

Here's the phone number to call its 833 the core that's 1-833-843-2673 course you can always send us an email as well at we provide some great Bible studies here at the core want to tell you about one of the newest ones today is Ray Bill were offering our Bible study on the book of Philippians. I wrote this study.

Some some time ago succeed me assertive based off of the sermon series that I did and that at the heart of the book of Philippians is suffering and joy. We were just talking about some of the some of the intense and open horrible things that we can experience as the people of God that the suffering that we can express in Paul is speaking into some of that in this in this book. In the book of Philippians and so we hope to get a hold of this resource. It's it's a resource that we believe will encourage you in your walk with the Lord and help you dig deeper into the book of Philippians is a 10 week study group or individual study, but also good for for group Bible study if that's what you're interested in. You can get a hold of it. For a donation of $20 or more, you will be looking for something for your Sunday school class or your small group. This would be a great option. You can learn more by going to core study again. Core, study to find that the book that the study on Philippians that Israel himself wrote both go back to the phones. Roy is on the line calling in from Texas right what your question for Israel of all one lower, one faith, one not publicly brought a young lady who showed up as the Chelsea physiology group members.

It was Amo's decision Lucy about. Then she requested his shoes to give Elizabeth not as she understand what the gospel is all about. Roy, thank you for that question. Of course this is this is one of those questions that you can hear different answers depending on who you ask. Because this this question. The question of baptism and proper baptism is is divisive within the church were there and there some people who say yeah until you fully understand and you do truly believe you. You shouldn't be baptized there others who say well just like in the Old Testament have the children of believers were included in the quote unquote church family. The covenant community you they were given that the signs of the covenant like circumcision under the old covenant will him in the same way the children of believers, or even one believing parent pulses in first Corinthian's chapter 7 are treated as holy. That is not not regenerated, not just the saved because their parents are believers, but in some sense there, set apart by the Lord, holy a part of that the covenant community.

Again this is that that that's my view.

I would say that if a person is been baptized that they've been baptized, and if they were baptized into the Christian church as a child, you know, a part of the quote unquote covenant family baptized in the name of the father and of the son and of the Holy Spirit. You may not understand all of that you don't understand all that. At that point. Baptism is not so much about us and what we do in our understanding. It's about what God is doing God extending his promises to us and we lay hold of those promises by faith. So if you come to faith later in life you were baptized as a child that you you really come to believe in Jesus when you're a teenager and adult. It's not that you're baptism, I would say was invalid. It's that now you're laying hold of those very real promises that God extended to you in your baptism, your baptism is was was valid. Legit because it's it's legitimate to the word of Christ God himself. The promise of God's word, and so is her no, I wouldn't say that they need to do this. Get one thing that could be helpful. Those if that they've come to a place and I think this is the right thing to do, that come to a place Roy Wade where there there really got coming to terms with the truth of Scripture with the claims of Christ with the gospel and they've embraced it. I think making a public profession of faith is a really important thing and and a good thing and maybe would give this friend a sense of that that sort of tape that they want to do that that longing to to stand up and saying then say I'm following Jesus. I think that that would be a good thing.

But, but, again, at least from my perspective right that sounds like this friend has been baptized. If it was done according to the word of God and so they would need to go and and try to do this again try to know concert this experience or or because they feel like they really get it now. The lay hold of the promises of God is already given to you in your baptism and so thank you for that question Roy God bless one follow-up for you Israel. You've mentioned this before. If someone was baptized in some tradition that is not truly Christianity.

It's a different story is yeah and and so that would be in it like if they were baptized in the Mormon church or something like that or is a Jehovah's Witness or baptized, not in the name of the father and of the son and of the Holy Spirit than I would say okay that's not done according to the word of gunsight. I think that they haven't actually been baptized to begin with and would need to be baptized as a that's it. That's an important qualification bill.

The score Christianity with pastor Israel Sanchez. Let's go to Mike who's calling in from Arkansas. Mike what your question for Israel Marquart is reading my devotional this morning I was reading material 46 to down and it sows declaring the end from the beginning, and from ancient times, things which have not been done saying my purpose will be established and I will accomplish all my good pleasure. I'm not really understanding that I'm wondering if you could, taking clear that up for me a little bit. I love to and you believe it or not Mike, this is one of my favorite verses in all of the Bible and in one sense because it's God saying look I am God and here's how you can know you can be usually can be sure it was one way that you can be sure I'm gonna tell you the end from the beginning, and from ancient times, things that have not yet been done. In other words, I'm an anomaly. Human history out for you to tell you what happens before it happens. And of course this is what we sometimes referred to as Bible prophecy. Now here specifically in in these chapters of Isaiah. It's God speaking about how he's going to use a man named Cyrus for the blessing and deliverance of his people.

This is the prophecy we believe it happened prior to these events in God saying I'm going to do something you're going to see it be fulfilled, and you're going to know that I'm the Lord and over and over again in Scripture. God does this. No other book.

I think does this but the Quran does not do this other quotable holy books do not do this because they're not inspired by the Holy Spirit, God himself.

The author of history, the one who created all things and is and is bringing all things to completion to new creation is able to do this again this is just one example. Here God speaking about a Cyrus specifically what you think about that that the many prophecies related to Jesus Christ or the suffering servant to go for two Isaiah 53 writer talks about the sufferings of the Messiah Jesus is a you see this over and over again so it was a few things. One, this, this speaks to what distinguishes our God from the idols of the world and actually that's the point earlier in Isaiah chapter 46 Isaiah 46 1 B bows down Nebo stoops their idols around beasts and livestock these things, you carry are born as burdens on weary beasts. They stoop they bow down together, they cannot save the burden but themselves go into captivity and then listen how beautiful this is. Listen to me, O house of Jacob, all the remnant of the house of Israel who have been born by me from before your birth carried from the womb, even to your old age.

I am he, into your gray hairs. I will carry you I have made and I will bear I will carry and will save the idols of the world are not true. God's they have to be born up we have to carry and we have to set them up right that they can do anything to provide for us rest the true God says look you have to carry them up that you have to bear that load.

That burden your idolatry. I am the God who carries my people and you know you can know that this is true, that I'm set apart from any other God. I'm going to tell you the end from the beginning, and from ancient times, things that are not yet done.

And so that's precisely what what the Lord is doing their Mike and in Isaiah chapter 46 minutes should just cause us to marvel the majesty of God, the goodness of God. The fact that he condescends in one sense to us and makes these arguments demonstrating to us who he is and why he can be trusted. Thanks for your question, so I'll set this score Christianity with pastor Israel Sanchez. Let's go to Josh from the Nebraska Josh, thanks for holding on so long. What your question for Israel Street what it so I heard a message last week about how Angels don't get the same opportunity about human salvation. Being able to see how forgiveness for Christ. But I was wondering what about fallen Angels target do they have the opportunity were to repent and be saved. That excellent question.

I believe that the answer is no. So the Angels that have fallen are destined to destruction to do. You do have some some language related to this in places like second Peter and Jude the Angels being reserved for for judgment for punishment but but the reality isn't in the reason I think that this is the case is because Christ or God the son, the second person of the holy Trinity, who assumed human flesh came as as the Christ as the Messiah for our sins for the deliverance of fallen humanity, not for the deliverance of fallen angels.

So for example Hebrews chapter 2 verse 14 says since therefore the children share in flesh and blood, he himself, that is Jesus, likewise partook of the same things that through death he might destroy the one who has the power of death, that is, the devil and deliver all those who through fear of death were subject to lifelong slavery. For surely it is not angels that he helps, but he helps the offspring of Abraham. Therefore he had to be made like his brothers in every respect, so that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in the service of God, to make propitiation for the sins of the people what people he would meet us of fallen humanity, sinners, and so that's the great hope that we have. Josh is not a hope that that the Angels have negatively judged and justly condemned, but we have.

You have hope brothers and sisters not do anything that we do with all and in sin but through the propitiation to the sacrifice of Jesus Christ forgive all of our sins and to give us communion with the true and living God. Thanks for listening to core Christianity request your copy of today's special offer.

Visit us at core, and click on offers in the menu bar or call us at 1-833-843-2673. That's 833 when you contact us. Please let us know how you been encouraged by this program and be sure to join us next time. As we explore the truth of God's word together

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