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Perception Isn't Reality

Hope for the Caregiver / Peter Rosenberger
The Truth Network Radio
September 26, 2022 3:30 am

Perception Isn't Reality

Hope for the Caregiver / Peter Rosenberger

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September 26, 2022 3:30 am

While in Ghana with our prosthetic limb outreach, Standing With Hope, Gracie and I visited a church in the port city of Tema. Following the service, I met a tall, impressive man wearing a flowing white traditional costume with gold trim. With a thick English/Ghanian accent, I heard him introduce himself as “…de King,’ Amos.”

Never meeting a king, I felt a bit tongue-tied and stammered, “Sir, I apologize – I don’t know how to properly address you.” 

With a huge smile, he offered in his deep voice, “Just call me “Amos.” 

“Sir, I can’t just call you that,” I replied – but he graciously continued chatting. Shortly after, while attending a reception with the pastor, I exclaimed, “I just met the King!” 

With a perplexed look, the pastor asked, “What King?”

“The King, Amos,” I replied.

Thinking for a minute, the pastor exploded in laughter and spoke in his native language to the room full of Ghanaians – who also started chuckling.

Sheepishly, I asked him to explain. 

With his equally thick Ghanian accent, the pastor laughed and shared. “You met a church officer, ‘Dea-con’ Amos – not ‘De King,’ Amos.”  

Perceptions often cloud hearing. The man looked regal – and perception allowed my ears to misinterpret. While my mistake only resulted in laughter, many misconstrued conversations can result in hurt feelings, resentment, and fractured relationships. 

Caregiving breeds isolation and isolation distorts perception – which leads to significant challenges. Asking for clarification, regardless of embarrassment, always trumps misunderstanding.

Studies have shown that 90% of error in thinking is due to error in perception. - Edward de Bono

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As caregivers we have so many things that hit us all the time and we can't always nail these things down by ourselves.

Who helps you what does that look like I'm Peter Rosenberg and I wanted to you about a program but a part of. Now for almost 10 years. That's legal shield for less than $30 a month.

I have access to a full law firm that can handle all kinds of things. If I get a contract put in front of me if I get of dispute was something doesn't matter, I've got full law firm that can help me navigate through all the sticky wicket is that we as caregivers have to deal with power of attorney medical power of attorney will every bit of it as a caregiver. We need someone who advocates for us and that's why I use legal shield to go to caregiver look on the left-hand side versus legal shield to selected turns purple this pick a plan to give you some options if you don't need to do those no selected checkout and be protected. Starting today that caregiver and all over the caregiver here on American family radio. I am Peter Rosenberg. This is the program for you as a family caregiver more than 65 million Americans right now are serving as a caregiver for a loved one is job, especially somebody's heading trouble disease some type of neurological event. Maybe somebody with addiction with alcoholism or substance abuse. Whatever the chronic impairment there's always a caregiver.

Those numbers are here in this country. Imagine what they are worldwide.

Thanks to you and thanks to American family radio. This program is available worldwide. People can access it and then our podcast also goes into downloaded in over 100 countries now and I am stunned at the places where this program reaches in countries that I never dreamed would down on Rush radio program for family caregivers. So the need is great and we are glad that you were here and being a part of this program. Speaking of around the world many years ago when we first went over to Ghana with our prosthetic limb outreach. Standing with hope. This is like the first trip that Gracie and I took the never been outside the United States at that point.

This is way back almost 20 years ago and we went to a large church in the port city of Tim which is near the Togo border and it is is over in eastern Ghana and it's right there on the Gulf of Guinea is a very large church and Gracie spoken and performed there and afterwards. This man, I was introduced this man and he was waiting outside and with mothers running and was a striking man. I'm top 60 told he was a good five or 6 inches taller than me.

Big Eddie had what they call the national costume. The traditional cost of the word. It's in his case it was a a a long white tunic over pants that are kind of blowsy and he had gold trim around and just gives us a striking man and he introduced himself.

What I thought I heard them say was this is get that thick Guinean British accent and it says I am to King Amos that I was like Stella because I you I do. They had royalty there in Ghana and I but I didn't think I would be meeting anybody and and and I that was Royal and I know what to say. I mean I've never met a king before of have bits of heads of state and after this event, I met that I will admit president of the United States from sitting president that I met a the head of the Blackfoot nation here in Montana who recently passed away last year. Socially, was chief girl oh person and by that time I had a little bit more to CORBA knew what to say but I do know what to say to this man as it's hot I don't even know what to call you lease it would just call the Amos house. Licensor had to do that, but he was very gracious. He kept chatting.

We talked for a bit and I sat there just kind of tried not to mess up front is not to say some stupid which is difficult for me.

As you can imagine. And he was collated I went to a reception that the pastor that church was throwing for Gracie and me.

We went met in those rueful folks and I was very excited and told the pastor, I just met the King, and he looked at because the pastor looked reason what key doesn't the King Amos you know what I was just exuberant pastor thought for money is just as real puzzled look on his face and he thought for about and then he exploded in laughter and he looked around the group there and he said something to them in their native-language.

I think it was AOL or tree.

I don't know which one it was. What he did. He spoke of his native language, in that they started laughing and substance are just getting little bit more embarrassed by the moment and I asked of is it what what what's going on and he kept laughing and he looked at me. He said you bet a church officer you met Deacon Amos not Dick King Amos but I could've sworn he said the king is Declan Sadik and they almost would just laugh at it and I had to laugh as well. He walks with the kids. It wasn't out of a moment but you know the little of the thought about that over the years. Your perceptions clouds are hearing and and I allowed my my eyes and my mind to affect my hearing because I there was nobody around him that was like security or anything like that but he looks so impressive. He looked regal. He was, you know, just really a striking individual and what I heard matched up with what I thought I was looking at and so I went with the King and a bit over to Ghana many times since then and so of learned how to better understand the dialect, just as they've had to understand my southern accent, enough about also had asked about a side note, please stop me if I'm saying things that don't make sense to you will is a very polite and you don't realize how much you speak in the vernacular to you go to a foreign country and you have to work it being understood but I thought about this over the years and you know, my mistake only resulted laughter sees the funny story, but many misconstrued conversations can result in hurt feelings, resentment and fractured relationships. I think about that as a caregiver. How many times did we respond to something when it that's not what was really going on, but nevertheless, or not actually respond heavily times we react to it and we react with way too much because we thought we understood something we thought we heard something in it was filtered through our strain and our stress and or discomfort or are weariness or whatever else I cannot be the only one no caregiving breeds isolation, and isolation distorts our perception is something we gotta fight against all the time is caregivers. If you're not fighting against this now. Give it some time. You will and when our isolation distorts our perception. It always always always leads to significant challenges, you know, we can ask for clarification, we may feel stupid, but there's really no stupid questions we could always ask for clarification. Regardless of the embarrassment asked for clarification because that always trumps misunderstanding. I'd rather risk being embarrassed and make sure I clearly understood than let my ego or my reluctance to be embarrassed allow a great misunderstanding to happen in the relationship is fractured. Now think about that in your life.

Has that ever happened to you. Have you ever been in a situation where you thought you heard something. Turns out that wasn't what was going on and we allowed ourselves to run with that.

I mean I've been there many times and we allow ourselves to run with that and it can create some real problems. There's a psychologist, Edward DeBono not related to share or sunny but he a he said that studies show that 90% of error in thinking is due error in perception. 90% of error in thinking is due to error in perception is what he said frames because very famous individual. Think about how we get it wrong perception. Romans 12 to do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by what the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God is good for people in perfect the whole point of the is for us to train our mind renewed in our mind. Don't believe everything you think. Don't always run with perception, there may be more going on than you think you may be meeting at Deacon instead of the quiche spoke, though it offers a very striking deacons over there this is Peter Rosenberger.

This is over. The caregiver hope for the will be right caregiver here in America is a family caregiver on your feet on the rock that is my feeder on the I am is a great lyric when I feel my hope but break.

I will cling to your unchanging grace, let the waters, and earth give way. I'll be dancing in the rain. My feeder on that is the place of life for all of us to be his family that are feeder on because we are going to have the stones breaking over we are going to be assailed when we are at our weakest. And if were not anchored how we can hold up was going to happen. Speak your feet. I was talking about Dr. this week.

What the Segway is talking about Dr. this week because my left foot really hurts and I'm not sure what's going on now some of you have heard the foot saga going on with me over the years with my bunion.

I named him Paul and I heard horror stories about people who edit operators let me know what you think. I don't know that I want to do that and I can't think of a good time for me to be on crutches for six weeks and I've heard that the success rate with that type of surgery is a little bit sketchy but that's it. I went to the doctor that just because I had to get this looked at. This was very painful and this is a wonderful doctor out here in Montana and just just love and peace is been around long time is seen a lot of things is all I know exactly was going on he Sadik does this happened this time of day in this heaven this this is it yes is like he was you know right there with me on it for every painful step, and he said all you this was going out and he had me stand barefoot in the set as you get older you, you're losing that springiness that bode that that tendon that that keep that arts going and you're getting flat feet would be nice just the way it is. Congratulations on getting older he's getting flat feet, and that left what is really taken the brunt. He said there is a special type of arches shall, because he said I have and get these and just order him and put in all your shoes. Make sure you get the right says it fits right on the money. There and it's going to give you that relief that you need and you know you could get water shoes, big shoes. Whatever that kind of thing.

But even he knew what to do, but is explain the process and talked about how the foot has changed with age and wear and tear and the things he described are exactly what happens to us is caregivers that we lose that ability to spring back. We we are stretched so thin. We are pushed so hard that we become brittle and feel a great deal of pain were in a lot of pain is caregivers and things are hurting. As a result of this in other areas of our lives. For example, if you're feeling the pinch financially. Is it just money that is causing this or something else. I understand that money can this be a real problem of belief become pinned there. I am there but but is that the real problem.

Sometimes the pain were feeling in one area is because of a dysfunction going on in another area.

This is driven home to me by my podiatrist back in Nashville told the story. I went in there and I had this really sharp pain on the left side of the foot. He said well because your walking gait is thrown off because of this, formerly of this bunion he said about your left knee hurts to us yet. Does he said the pain you're feeling is coming from a different area you want me to treat with that pain is but there's more going on here I thought how little lesson for me as a caregiver we feel the pinch of a certain acute pain. Something is happening right now but it's happening because of something else that's going on some type of deformity some type of dysfunction and it all has to do with balance in our life where we standing how are we stating what are we standing upon. These are all issues that are worthy of our time is caregivers to explore if we don't ask these questions and were just gonna keep stumbling around in pain and be ignorant and not knowing what's going on with us and we keep treating the symptoms, but we don't go to the root cause is the root cause of your distress. The behavior of your loved one really is that really it or is there something more going on. Is it the way you're reacting to it is that the emotional attachments that you're putting to it. Is it the way you're getting hooked into these things and it affects your self-worth, your peace of mind your understanding of life. Your understanding of God's provisions.

Whatever because as long as there something that pushes against us, there will be friction and if all were doing is treating the pressure were not getting the root source of why is there friction what's going on here. What is happening to us, why don't we get so mad why we get so irritated. Why do we act so resentfully and with such bitterness.

I go back to this course the soul when I feel my hope about to break. I will cling to your unchanging grace, let the waters come in the earth give way. I'll be dancing in the rain.

My feeder on the rock. What does it mean as a caregiver. How do we apply that principle which kinda goes back to the one of my favorite hymns of those 25 hymns. Everybody ought to know. My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus blood and righteousness.

I dare not trust the sweetest frame, but wholly lean on Jesus name I miss the boat of the caregiver is seen with my dad's was that because sinkings here's where we live viciously great heroes 25 hymns in every Christian on and I love that him what does it mean to us is a caregiver that was at me when I go to see the doctor about my foot was that mean about all the things that we deal with in our day-to-day walk is caregivers.

My journey has been where is solid ground with solid footing for me. For me, as a caregiver. I would find myself floundering and I didn't know where to go what to do, how to function and I was so filled with fear or rage or despair. Again, what was causing this. The problem with my foot was caused by something else to me the source of the problems that were the source of the pain was worse. The pain was over.

On the other side of the foot source.

The problem was in the middle of the foot that I have to sure that up so that it takes the pressure off that side of my foot.

So what's the problem for us is caregivers because is very easy to say what if our loved one would just do this.

I cannot tell you how many times I've said it or heard it from people will if mama would just not Gracie. If you just wouldn't you know when I cringe of those things but but I'd be lying to you if I try to take anything different of me that I am what I am may not have had ample time to make every kind of mistake you can make eye through a painful series of events and a lot of work. I've come to understand the deeper issue. The problem is me and in the pressure cooker of caregiving. Those problems become extremely apparent think that's probably the best way to say that because everything gets pushed to the surface. What may take a lifetime to manifest itself in some people in the caregiving world.

It can come out pretty quick because there's so much pressure and when you have this relentless pressure over time. Like I've had you have to deal with this stuff. You cannot just sweep it under the rug. You cannot just well take respite from goat you don't be distracted something else. There is no distraction.

It's every day because the pressures every day and you gotta find solid footing, solid ground. You've got to make peace with these things and learn to stand calmly in it. Otherwise it'll break which in some respects, breaking you is kind of the point because until we are broken.

We can't be reassembled. The goal is not for us to stay broken. The goal is for us to be resurrected to be regenerated to be reestablished in Christ. Galatians Paul says that I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live the life I live in the body I live by faith in the son of God. I let's go a little deeper. I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live the life I live is a caregiver.

I live by faith in the son. She gets kinda realtor doesn't. And this is where I've had to learn to walk in where I still in learning not I don't own this. I don't think I'm going to own it until I go home to glory and I think that the advantage I have over most is that I've had to look at this for so long.

I've had to wrestle with the same issues for so long. There's no respite for every day all day into the night and I've got to see myself under this pressure cooker under the hot lights since Ronald Reagan was present so I've had ample time to to stare at this to wade out what is the core issue. Where is it really malfunctioning for me and to avoid the temptation of sin. Okay this is where it hurts so therefore that must be the problem it's pinching me over here but is that the real problem. Another person's behavior may pinch me but is that the real problem. So grateful that I got to go to the doctor's office and see this kind of model for me in a different way that I could understand the concept better and now hopefully apply that standing firm on the foundation of Christ, knowing that the caregiving things that I do and live with me pinch me but they're not the real problem. There's a much deeper problem that is what Christ is working out in me that is what that journey about trusting him everything standing firm on him is all about. It's called sanctification disputer of this is over. The caregiver will be right Rosenberg is not a preacher but he's got really. You've heard me talk about study with open over the years. This is the prosthetic limb ministry. The Gracie vision after losing both of her legs. Part of that outreach is our prosthetic limb recycling program. Did you know that prosthetic limbs can be recycled, located there is a correctional facility in Arizona that helps us recycle prosthetic limbs of this facility is run by a group out of Nashville, called core civic and we met them over 11 years ago and they stepped in to help us with this recycling program of taking prostheses and you disassembled and you take me the foot, the pylon, the two clamps the adapters the screws the liners of prosthetic socks. All these things we can reuse and inmates help us do it before core civic cable. How was city, Florida house or out of the garage and when we lived in Nashville that I had tools everywhere limbs everywhere should feed boxes of software that I was at all this myself and I make the kids help make and they got to be too much for me and so I was very grateful that core civic stepped up to look we are always looking for faith-based programs that are interesting and that give inmates a sense of satisfaction and would love to be part of this and this what they're doing and you can see more about that it stayed with, so please help us get the word out that we do recycle prosthetic limbs. We do arms as well that the majority of amputations are or lower limb and that's where the focus of standing with hope. Is this where Gracie's life is with her lower limb prostheses. She's used some of her own limbs in this outreach that she's recycling. She's been empty for over 30 years. So go through a lot of legs and parts and other types of materials and you can reuse prosthetic socks and liners if they're in good shape.

All of this helps give the gift that keeps on walking and it goes to this prison in Arizona were in such an extraordinary minister think with it.

Inmates volunteer for this. They want to do it and they've had amazing times with it and I've had very moving conversation with inmates at work in this program and you can see I get all of that is sitting with there putting together big shipment right now for us to ship over. We do this pretty regular throughout the year as inventory rises that they needed badly and Donna so please go to stayed with and get the word out and help us do more if you want to offset some of the shipping you can always go to the giving page and be a part of what were doing their work purchasing material in Ghana that they have to use that can't be recycled worshiping over stuff that can be and were doing all of this to lift others up and to point them to a Savior. That's the whole point of all this and that's why we are standing with hope. Thanks so much here on glad to have, were you there. Pick a look at all the things we offer podcasts free and there like almost 700 episodes out there. We have the largest podcast for caregivers in the world and we would love for you to share with others. Take advantage of listen to it. Books, CDs, music streaming blogs. There's all kinds of things out there and also at Facebook you can go out to her Facebook group. Hopefully caregiver he could join that group is a private group that I've been minister of administrator of the sole administrator of this and we are put special things in their asked questions talk about things. Whatever if you got questions or comments. That's the place to do it. Talk about burnout and something that is inherent here to all our hearts is here are some thoughts that I've had on this again.

The context is admitted. Caregiver for 36+ years through a relentless medical nightmare night we've had seasons where was it as bad when you have the surgery.

Gracie's head in the orthopedic challenges I listen to the top orthopedic surgeon in Denver just couple weeks ago. Look at her since orthopedically you're about as challenging as it comes. It wasn't say that the wind yelled for her to win a prize or anything he was saying that because he was acknowledging just how difficult her challenges are and they are so what does that mean for me as a caregiver was burnout what what does that look like for you to do some research on this in psychology today says burnout is not simply a result of working long hours or juggling too many task though those both play a role, the cynicism, depression, and lethargy that are characteristic of burnout most often occur when a person is not in control of how a job is carried out at work or at home or is asked to complete tasks that conflict with their sense of self equally pressing is working toward a goal but doesn't resonate when a person lacks support, don't get ahead of me now. If a person doesn't tailor responsibilities to match a true calling. Or at least take a break once in a while they could face burnout as well as the mountain of mental and physical health problems that often come along with including headaches, you might want to write these down though. I just get you don't need a writer to help me live it. Headaches, fatigue, heartburn and other gastrointestinal symptoms as well as increased potential for alcohol, drug or food misuse. So how do you know if you burned out the go on to say in this article there you get physical and mental exhaustion, a sense of dread about work. Frequent feelings of cynicism, anger and irritability are key signs of burnout.

How many of you resonate with this right this moment. Let me repeat this like an equally pressing is working toward a goal that doesn't resonate when a person lacks support, you will feel like his caregivers, a goal that doesn't resonate describes her life. What is the goal here where we going with this. What we trying to achieve here and part of the journey for us his caregivers is that we have to re-establish those goals for ourselves and possibly for love when but mostly for ourselves because so many of us are in custodial vote.

It's not going to go towards a happy go there's no place were we plant our flag is a success. We've done it, and that would move on to the next thing the best that many caregivers could hope for is a funeral I just went to a memorial service last week for such an event where my friends father was elderly. His mind was gone and there's no hope that this could be a better life usually keep them comfortable till he dies and we did.

There's a sense of okay. I kept them comfortable and did the best I could, but there was no victory in the sense where hey, look at what we accomplished other than just keeping somebody comfortable in not dying. That's a bleak set of circumstances.

And when you work under those kinds of parameters it's easy to see why so many become discouraged and burned out.

Where is this going.

When you have somebody with mental health issues.

Where is this going, not necessarily terminal is it what I have a goal that resonates in psychology today said what about a child with autism or Down syndrome you have to adjust the way you look at life and the parameters that you judge success by and these are things that grace you have had him serious conversations about what is life look like with this type of debilitating set of challenges. Can you live life joyfully and excitingly is there as I get this course is a goal that resonates that keeps you energized and keeps us from going dead in this despair and burnout. I think there is. This is why I do this program. This is why write books.

This is why write articles. This is why I do all the things I do to remind myself and as many others as I possibly can, that there is a way to live life in the midst of this without it tearing you apart.

It doesn't mean it will be difficult because it is and it will be doesn't mean that you have great sadness and sorrow, and struggles all of the above because you will what you're going to have that regardless okay there is no way around that. If you're caregiver of any kind, you're going to have discouraging things you're going to have painful painful circumstances in your life you can have it no matter what the question is can you live productively.

Can you dig deeper. Can you find that goal that resonates. Can you find that place where you're feeling satisfied in who you are and what you're doing even in the midst of being a caregiver full-time care no matter what the other person doesn't matter what the other circumstances are. Can you find meaning in this for yourself and I suggest to you that you can't end the reason I can say that is because I have and I do. I love what I get to do that. I have worked hard to find a way to be productive and to be purpose driven. If you will.

In this not just reeling from one setback after another and hoping that if we get through this that I can get on with my life. Once I made that acceptance that this is my life and it's not going to change outside of death. This is my life that conversation with myself about acceptance was a game changer for me and I realize that there were opportunities to me if I was willing to be creative. Ask for help push myself and release a lot of bitterness those things did not come easy and they really don't come very naturally to me. They may come naturally to you, but they don't come naturally to me that I'd struggle with this is why talk about my faith a lot on this program I I had a friend, but those that are you limiting your audience by talking about Christianity so much about religion and what he meant was art by talking so much about Jesus is. Let's face it, you could talk about God all day long and people really get that worked up about which talk about Jesus and is a flashpoint. So what I do it well. This is how I function as a caregiver and I feel a responsibility and a privilege to be able to tell others.

Okay this is how I am finding strength for today bright hope for tomorrow is the This is how I do it I don't have any tricks or tips or great cleverness on on the function of caregiver. I reached the end of all of my abilities on every level. I could basically be the poster child for burnout that psychology data for the people use edit that point instead of just laying there just giving up. I was invited to trust God that the redemptive work of Christ meant something to me as a caregiver.

I was invited to go on this journey of said okay. I've tried it my way and I had to ask myself how's that working out for not too good it did work out too well at all. What if I got to lose, and I listened and believed, and I started incorporating these biblical principles that I share with you on this program day in India. I started thinking about what it meant to trust Christ in this what it meant. When Paul says I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live the life I live in the body I live by faith in the son of God.

What I just hear the last block. What is that mean is a caregiver is a caregiver. I no longer live Christ lives in me. You know what I've heard all the God talk all the God words people said you know all these things trust Jesus trustees is easy to trust Jesus that this socially to trusted you have heard this over and over and over again heard the word.

I could repeat them back to you backwards and forwards, but I didn't understand what it meant to me as a caregiver wanted me to trust Christ. With this I looked through all of Scripture, said people so Jesus knows Jesus knows I would do all the Scripture never saw anywhere where there was a man taking care of a woman through 80 something surgeries both legs amputated within a step back and saw the whole of Scripture you know that Jesus is referred to as the bridegroom is that the church is referred to as the bride of Christ, but were a messed up group of people are we, I mean think about it, but every church procedure to deliver two or three together there's profits messed up broken wounded bunch of people and Jesus is the bridegroom for that brought for us.

What that means means I have a Savior who is in love with a wounded brat just like me have a Savior that understands every thing I struggle that makes that's what I have hope this is over. The caregiver will be right back. I hope caregiver American family Roseburg. This is the program is a family that is the love that song. It encapsulates what the show is all about and why do these CDC I'm not asking you that question I'm asking that if myself. Do I see and when I do this program and when I write books and when I write articles I'm doing these things with a sense of urgency because I recognize the plight that so many find themselves in right now that passage in Matthew chapter 9 where Jesus is a mama breathers from the message. This is from the message.

Then Jesus made a circuit of all the towns and villages is verse 35 he taught in their meeting places reported kingdom news and healed their disease bodies healed their bruised and hurt lives. When he looked out over the crowd as his heart broke so confused and aimless. They were like sheep with no shepherd.

What a huge harvest. He said to his disciples, how few workers on your knees and pray for harvest hands you see the harvest deceit around GDC distress it's easy I think to draw lines in the sand and say okay what they believe this, so therefore there bad I did something I should've done probably model but there was a political figure on Twitter post something out about being in not to be afraid or such such that you simply posted a Scripture there that I love the Scripture in Isaiah Lord tells but don't be afraid I will guard you with my right hand that's all that I just said I just posted Scripture I love this description and I looked at all the vitriolic comments because people ardently hated this individual X more specific.

This individual father and they hated and they would. They wrote tweeted back to me that Scripture is only for the righteous that Scripture is applied to anybody in this guy's orbit. I simply made one statement that Scripture applies to every orbit, and who is righteous, that doesn't need a Savior. That's it. I'm not Twitter is a place where basically it's a cage match for people to don't want to get hit. I don't particularly like going out there much. I do sometimes, but I try to avoid it just post pictures of horses to simply because it's social media, she's become such a sewer, but every now they need. You kinda have to see it, you have to see the sewer yet to see it for what it is and is Jesus said pray on your knees and pray for harvest hands and do we do that, do we know what to say. Do we know how to respond. Do we know how to ask better questions.

With that in mind, I want to have a discussion with you in this last block, but something is been troubling me and things are mincing on the news. If you'll indulge me, grace is a double amputee. Both legs below the knee.

And I remember the struggles that she and I had together as she wrestled with that decision to give those legs that they were so damaged and they were so broke and they were truly causing her enormous amount of pain and were going only get worse and there's no coming back from amputation know once you make that decision.

That's it.

Imagine if you will that one of our sons while she was wrestling with that decision. They were Parker was a little boy. Grayson was born yet. And then she gave up her remaining leg after Grace was born when he was a toddler. Imagine if you will.

If either of our children had said I want to identify as an amputee like mom I want to be inclusive with mom and I want to have my leg taken off so that I can be like mom and imagine however horrifyingly, it may be that either Gracie or me had given consent to that parental consent. What would you think of a physician of a surgeon who accommodated that desire would you think that would be appropriate. Would you look at that surgeon with respect and feel that surgeon is doing a good thing or would you be horrified. This is surgeon have any culpability even with parental consent to have treatment like that on a minor who says I want to do this. In fact, I ask you if anybody that you knew seriously said, even as an adult I want to amputate my left-hander my right-hander my left leg, left right leg so that I can do it if I was an amputee. Would you think that they were okay what you think that they were mentally impaired.

Would you try to point them to help or would you affirm that decision maybe they really want to identifies an amputee. Maybe that's something that's important to them.

Maybe they feel more included if if they were an amputee. I would you respond this.

This is what's happening in our culture right now with minors, and they call it things like gender affirming care, but in reality there are physicians who, under the cloak of parental consent are doing this to children. It's bad enough to do it to adult. But to do it to children and so were going to amputate part of your body to surgically change and there's no going back from this question. I know there's no going back from amputation. Once it's gone, it's gone.

How do we respond to this.

I'm asking the question and I'm framing the conversation differently than all the gobbledygook that you hear there's a word salad that people use when they don't really want to speak plainly and that's what you see in Scripture Jesus. Let your yes be yes you let you know me know. You don't need to use verbal linguine when you're just speaking the truth. See, we don't know what truth is anymore. Do as a society we can agree on this.

If you go back and look at no pilot asking Jesus what is truth.

Jesus that I am the truth. You say here's the truth I am the truth the way in the life and as I said in the last block. It's it's very offensive to the world to talk about Jesus. He said it would be. They hate me, that I hate you very offensive into my God all day long.

You can see things about the universe and everything is decisive about Jesus and it causes people to absolutely become enraged and yet we have a responsibility to proclaim this great redemption that reaches into these places where people are troubled so troubled that they want to do things that are horrific mutilate themselves. Now before you think this is theory that I'm just kind of throwing out hypothetical.

I have been around a lot. Amputee's in my life and there are groups of people out there who want to amputate parts of their bodies.

I have met some of these individuals who actually did this in its gruesome, they would solve fingers. I've seen it okay not making this up because they wanted identify certain way. There a lot of people who are hurting in this world and they will go to extreme measures to do anything they could possibly think of to ease that pain to stop that pain to medicate that pain as caregivers, we understand that don't because we know what it's like to feel desperate what it's like to feel hurting and that's why it is to me this is the urgency I have with this program because I know what this is like to push yourself to to go into. I gotta do something to stop hurting. I look with great compassionate people who are troubled in this manner and the it's hard because Summit sometimes are so filled with rage that all you see is the rate but if you can ever just kind of put that aside and asked the Lord to give you ears to hear and eyes to seasons. You can see beyond it and speak to the pain that they have such a thing is called an angry wound. When you have an angry wound. It's all inflamed and festering in and everything else, but there's a real wound. I don't have the answers that I would never proclaim that I do, but I do since the urgency that we have as believers to be bold and to be forthright and to speak plainly to people in their distress and their heartache. This is happening out there this is happening right beside each of us were all face with all kinds of things right up close and personal with his.

We don't have to go looking for dysfunction. It's all around us. The question is are we going to be a source of light direction, clarity, compassion and truth or we go to just be passive, enabling and apathetic. I can't do that to talk about this more in the coming shows but I wanted to introduce the concept today. Thank you for your time. Thank you for trusting me with this. Our dispute arose. This is hope for the king. See next. I

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