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God’s View of Singleness, Intimacy, Divorce & Remarriage

Lighting Your Way / Lighthouse Baptist
The Truth Network Radio
August 23, 2022 3:03 pm

God’s View of Singleness, Intimacy, Divorce & Remarriage

Lighting Your Way / Lighthouse Baptist

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August 23, 2022 3:03 pm

August 21, 2022 – Message from Pastor Josh Bevan

            Main Scripture Passage:  1Corinthians 7:1-16

            Topic: Relationships


            Download SCRIPTURE REFERENCE

In Touch
Charles Stanley
In Touch
Charles Stanley
Truth for Life
Alistair Begg
Encouraging Prayer
James Banks

Your Bibles if you look with me to first Corinthians chapter number seven first Corinthians 7 we have been in a study since last December through the book of Matthew and we came to Matthew 531 and see where it has to deal with. You could stand at this time. Some your thinking are we standing really stand in for the honor of God's work, but we are looking at marriage and divorce and remarriage will God has to say about Fadden. What the Lord says in Matthew five is expanded here in verse 27, so we are moving over here for one Sunday to look at some things Paul has to say.

I pray this will be edifying and encouraging first Corinthians 7 will read down to verse 16 it says in verse one now concerning the things whereof you wrote on Simi so they had written Paul with some questions is good for me not to touch a woman that's a Jewish euphemism for intimacy and marriage. It says in verse two.

Nevertheless, to avoid fornication. Let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. The husband rendering the wife due benevolence and likewise also the wife of the husband or wife has not authority or power over his own body. The husband and likewise also the husband have not power of his own body, but the wife defraud you not one of the another of another, except to be with consent for a time, you may give yourself to fasting and prayer, and come together again. Did Satan tempt you not for your lack of self-control or incontinence eat for six but I speak this by permission and not of commandment right away that all men were even as I myself but every man have his proper gift of God when after this man. Another after that I say therefore to the unmarried and widows. It's good for them if they abide even as I but if they cannot contain let them marry for its better to marry than to burn or to burn with passion to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord, let not the wife depart from her husband and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband, and let not the husband put away his wife, but to the rest speak I not the Lord. If any brother hath a wife that believe is not a GB pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. A woman which also have a husband that believe is not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. The unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband else were your children unclean, but now they are holy. If they unbelieving depart, let them depart, let him depart. A brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases got it called us to peace.

For what knowest thou wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband and what knowest thou man without shalt save thy wife either. Would you think if you were today. It is a joy and honor to be able to stand for the word of God and we pray that your blessing would rest upon the service. We do ask that the will of God will be revealed through the Scriptures of what you desire for single people for married people for unmarried but I pray that you would give grace, wisdom, guidance, I pray that we would submit ourselves to the word of God and not the will of man in the sins of this culture that have been so problematic to families and relationships that I pray that you would just bless this congregation or this morning.

Thank you for a wonderful early service menu blesses second hour. We ask in Jesus name. And God's people said amen you may be seated this morning for the last couple weeks we've been examining marriage, divorce, remarriage, and my prayer is that this is been a blessing for you that it would edify you that it would help us all to elevate the importance of marriage and that that God honoring institution that God has made those who are married would look at marriage in a way that would honor the Lord that it is not just a commitment between two people, but it is a God-given covenant between three between a man, a woman in God.

The God hates divorce and desires our marriage is to be till death would part us and that if you have been divorce it, you would understand there is grace there is forgiveness and healing and that you would live in the blessing of God as you seek him, that if you're remarried today that you would treat that marriage is sacred is God says it is love one another in that marriage covenant.

They'll want to dive in the first currently chapter 7 Paul expands the brief teaching that the Lord gave on marriage in Matthew five in verse over 31 and Sue in Matthew chapter 19 were Paul expands this Jesus dealt with marriage between believers and he was writing to with strong Jewish audience where Paul is dealing with marriage between both believers and unbelievers in dealing with a heavy Gentile culture at Corinthian Corinth this this book of Corinthians in and so Paul read that either there some there's some things you need to understand as we get into this. Paul says's statement multiple times to hear what he says this is something the Lord commands it in and not either the Lord, he says that in verse number 10, and on the the married I command, yet not I but the Lord and what he saying here is that Jesus spoke to this. Then he gets down to verse 12 it says with the rest speak I not the Lord what he saying is, is not saying I'm I'm I'm opposing what Jesus said.

He's simply saying Jesus didn't address the situation of people married to unbelievers, so he's not contradicting what Jesus says in Matthew five he's expanding the will and word of God here in those situations in Jesus didn't specifically speak to and you need understand what Paul says is as authoritative is what the Lord Jesus Christ says because it's all given by God. This is the word of the living God, inspired by the Holy Spirit.

So Paul also is foreseeing the Lord's return. He thought it was very soon, but he also saw the coming persecution. It was both present was about to fall like a hammer from Rome upon the jury on the early church in and under the in about 17 years from this writing the documentation of the Roman Emperor would would bring great persecution against there was a first wave of Christian persecution and and so he tells them it's it's good to be single if you're if you're not married it's probably better to not marry because of the coming distress that he mentions in verse 26 of this chapter.

So, he highlights the value and singleness because your devotion to the Lord your singleness of mind to the Lord. But if you have a heart to marry than you need to do that and will understand that as we walk through this passage today to give you some context about marriage in Paul's day because last week we looked at the Jewish culture. We look how things were going among the Jews of the Jews had the greatest ideally they had the greatest view of marriage and divorce because it was given by God in the Old Testament. The problem was they had moved away from the Old Testament view of of what divorce and remarriage was, and in light of what God's word says about that that marriage is to be this covenant between two people and that there to become one flesh.

According to the book of Genesis chapter 2 and and and and there was a school by Rabbi Hillel, who had died about 20 years before Jesus and and he had a very liberal view that was propagated throughout the Jewish culture that you could get divorce for about any reason you can get remarried and that was the case, and so marriage had deteriorated in their day because they had a very low view of Deuteronomy 24 were Moses addressed divorce, and they thought it was a license to get divorce for any cause, Jesus clarifies that in Matthew 531 and 32 it says you're not to get divorce except for the case of of sexual sin by your spouse uses the Greek word for Naya and in then we translate that is adultery or just any type of sexual sin outside of your relationship with your wife. And so Jesus can brought a great contrast and clarity to what was going on in that day.

Now you need to know in Paul's day.

Not only was marriage a mess among the Jews, but was even a greater mess among the Gentiles. Both the Greek and Roman cultures. The Paul ministered in who had had some severe problems.

The Greeks were the great world power up until Rome defeated them in 146 BC at the battle at Corinth and then Greece became part of the Roman Empire and the marriage problems were were heavy at Corinth, which was just right above Greece and was dominated by the Greeks. W. Farrell, the great classic scholar, said one of the chief diseases from which the ancient civilizations died was because they had a low view of women among the Greeks, having extramarital relationships committing adultery was not only seen as not wrong, but it was expected. The Macias it was a Greek statement, statesman, and in Athens in fourth century BC. He writes this we have courtesans are basically prostitutes for the sake of pleasure. We have concubines for the sake of their cohabitation and we have wives for the purpose of having children legitimately of having a faithful guardian for all of our household affairs and that that's what was the norm of the day you're married, they were children. They took care of the children at home, but the men were just loose in the area of of of adultery was interesting among the Greeks as they demanded their wives to be absolutely pure and moral to the men would run around and the women were not even allowed to leave the home.

They were not allowed to talk to other men, they that it was demanded of them to be pure also religion among the Greeks involved fraud their religion involved prostitution, sex in drunkenness, their gods were gods of sex. Aphrodite was a goddess of sex at Corinth bacchanalian FISA goddess bought got got as Bacchus was was a god of wine that drunken prostitution was was what their religion was basically what their lusts were showed up.

And what kind the gods they served. Same thing happens today you have somebody soak so we believe about God nicely will God to me as they begin to define God by what they are and their God who their defining looks very much like them. It's idolatry of the heart and so God is not made an image of man. Man is made in the image of God you believe that today and so in Greek society.

Extramarital relationships with the Norman wives were Secluded impurity was demanded of them. A second problem on the Greeks was divorce required.

Basically no legal process.

The only thing that was required was yet have two witnesses, and then you return the dowry, but outside of that of just just easy divorce, easy remarriage now. The Romans also were is problematic.

William Barclay said the history of the development of the marriage situation among the Romans is a history of tragedy, the whole Roman religion in society was originally founded on the home it's it's really blows your mind when you begin a study Roman history because at at the onset of the Roman empire when when roaming the Commonwealth was established family life was very strongly day they had they had a distorted view on some things and some things were very wrong, but the family unit states together is why say that they had what they called the poetry of protest us or the father's authority. The father literally at power of life and death of their family.

This lasted basically throughout their lives to the Roman to the Roman the home was everything the Roman matron of the mother of the home was not secluded like the Greek counterpart. She took part in life with everyone else. There were prostitutes in the Roman Empire, but they were looked down upon.

You would not intermingle with them because I was a dishonorable thing so high was the standard of Roman morality that for the first 500 years. You will not find one single instance of divorce for 500 years in Rome that amazing. I was American or amino acid that's amazing, isn't the first case of divorce was a man named spurious carve alias route into 34 BC and he divorce his wife because she could not have children. Very honorable right mess. Then there came to the grieving then so what happened was the Romans conquered the Greeks militarily. 146 BC and though they conquered the militarily, they it was said that the Greeks conquered the Romans, morally and socially.

By the second century BC Greek morals had begin to infiltrate the Roman Empire in the dissent was catastrophic. Divorce became as common as marriage. Seneca was a Roman historian and statesman who lived during the time of Christ speaks about women who were married to be divorce and who were divorce to be married. He speaks about women identifying the years of their life by the husbands that they had. Then there are cases such as poet juvenile who cites the case of a woman who had eight husbands in five years. Some historians and that they wrote of wives and husbands having 20 to 25 different spouses that that's the insanity that Mary's turned into an divorce turn into insider this culture in an attempt to rescue marriage. Rome began to pass laws to begin to penalize people who were not married or bless those who did it and who had children, but Rome was not able to save it through their laws. Rome was infected with the sins of the Greek culture resulted really in the destruction of the family and of marriage so that gives you little bit about going to say why are you telling us these things because you will never understand first reviewed seventh so you understand the history of some of this and so there were four basic marriages inside of the Roman institution inside of marriage. There was four different ways marriages were established. The first was among those who were in slavery. Slavery was the river.

There were tens of thousands of slaves inside of the Roman Empire. Many of the early Christians were slaves all writes about that and so that if two slaves wanted to be married they would allow them to be married and what was known as a call to Bernie him which was known as a tent relationship. Basically it was a an arrangement that they come together and in that was kind of a loose way of marriage but it was considered a marriage nonetheless. Secondly, there is a marriage that was known as a uses US US and it was kind of an informal way of married people who live together in a marital sense would be considered married after they stayed together for one year's it's what we would confirm refer to in our day is that common-law marriage where you live together thing for seven years. There's 10 states still practice that you would be married third way was what was known as a co-MTO was a sale of a daughter to a husband by the dowry price and that kind of faded from view, was an old means of marriage. But that was going on. Also in Roman times. The fourth way of marriage and that day was really the most elevated way of marriage as practiced by the patriot class or the ruling class of Rome was called gun Faria Theo can vary unsealing. It was a marriage where the two families would come together.

There would be an exchange of rings rings will be placed in the third finger of her left hand because in Egypt ancient Egypt. They said there was a vein that ran from your finger, third finger all the way up to your heart and then they would have 10 witnesses to be present.

They shared a cake there would be a matron who would go along with the bride. The review of basically a bridegroom with the guy and the Roman Catholic Church adopted this in the medieval ages.

They added some Christian things to that and then went through the Protestant Reformation and that's really where we get our obviously you can see we have our Christian ceremony in the modern form of that today. And so this is what's going on there were there was divorce is remarriage.

There were some people again and that slavery type of marriage that to companionship that were in the church some work have their wives taken away, but was somebody else meet it was just a mess. Paul is dealing with all these kind of things people going on and in multiple different marriages throughout their life and in simple has to deal with this now he's writing this book to this church at Corinth.

If you know anything about the Bible. If you read much of the New Testament know the city of Corinth was a mess. The church at Corinth had a lot of problems right so that that the city of Corinth was a very wealthy city actually have some pictures or for you. It was about 45 minute 45 minutes where that first picture is about 45 miles west of Athens. So here's Athens and here is Corinth and there was a seaport city. This is Greece. Israel's over here and these are Paul's missionary journeys and so if you have that next picture, gives you an idea so that's in it. Had this this disc and now that they would have the role ship satchel actually through that passage from one body of water to the other, but it did and Corinth were the famous Isthmian games like the Olympic Games they they were very big and Corinth. It was not only wealthy, but the court was also very wicked. It was known as a Siemens paradise sexual immorality ran rampant to correct the site. Someone meant to literally go to bed with a prostitute and to be involved in drunkenness, Corinth had an Acropolis or a high city that rose 2000 feet and was used for a place of defense, as well as a place of of of pagan worship. We have 1/3 picture there, and you see this is a rendition of the temple to Aphrodite.

This temple which which was above the city of Corinth and this is the water Neri down near the bottom there is a thousand temple prostitutes that was house there and they would descend upon the inhabitants of the city and the nightlife and if you slept with one of the prostitutes you are sleeping basically with the goddess Aphrodite was a goddess of sex. This was their religion. So if you lived in Corinth at the pinnacle of your city was a brothel.

This is, this was religion. Imagine that this is how they grew up like if you want to be really religious.

This is what you partake in drunken sex on me. This is this is Corinth. This is who Paul is writing to even it will get 1/4 retrieving the date of these are ancient ruins from that temple still lasted a couple thousand years later, so let's jump into this today that lays a little bit of the foundation. I hope that gives you some work foundation. So when you read first Corinthians, you understand a little bit more of what's going on here.

Now it starts off in order. Look at verse one through five answering questions about intimacy and the reason this is dealt with is because Paul deals with it because in that city sex had become so sinful that some believe that sex was sinful itself. And so Paul has the answer some questions and celibacy. God's desire isn't spiritual for someone to remain celibate and unmarried. Is it also right for people that are married to abstain from sexual intimacy inside of their marriage. Is it wrong and so Paul answer some of these questions.

So in verse seven verse number one of chapter 7 notice what he says now concerning the things review wrote in the me so they're asking him about this. Why are they asking him about intimacy because all they've known is immorality in that area. It's all they've ever known. And so, so he says it is good literally morally good for for a man not to touch a woman and what he saying that were touch a woman is a is a euphemism among the Jewish conversation about about sexual intimacy with someone so it's good for someone to remain celibate. If you're asking me is it wrong to be celibate and not married. Yes, that's good to do it. It's right to do. Paul is not against marriage is just simply answering the question. It's okay to be single as long as you remain sexually pure. But then he goes into answer that singleness can cause some problems in verse two. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication. Let every man have his own wife, and every woman have her own husband. There are some problems that arise. If you if you just think that's the only plan for God.

Now what would what would happen if God's will for everyone was to be single and celibate humanities gone awry is no group called the shakers. It was a combination of the Quakers in the Pentecostalism and they said that you did that six is wrong.

Even inside a marriage, and in that was it that it allows the people in that group. About 50 years ago today it in 2011 elasticity. There was three of them.

Such herds die all right because you don't have any children so so that's not God's desire.

Also, God said in Genesis 128, be fruitful and multiply right. Children are a gift of God. Psalms 127 three Genesis 218 God says is not good for man to be alone, so, so it's clearly there are some problems that come around the idea of just being single, but it also what Paul says here is a causes the potential of temptation. Paul warns those who were believing that they needed to remain single.

That hey if you have the gift of singleness. If you are completely content and have no desire to be married, and that's great. You can fully devote your life to God and have no nothing else that pulls your attention and that's great but but if you have urges to be married and you desire that then then you need to get married because there's nothing honorable to God about living your life with. With temptations you're battling with constantly and so he saying to avoid falling into sexual sins. Let every man have his own wife let every woman have her own husband, Melanie release for biblical reasons for marriage. There's probably more than this, but I just wrote down for that's what you have so first of all, God gave marriage for the purpose of parenting that have children. Genesis 128 God says, be fruitful, multiply, and replenish the earth. Children are a blessing friends I think love my kids. I love spinning time with them and love when they bring me a sweet tea.

I love when love love our kids.

Parenting is a blessing.

Secondly, God gave God gave marriage for pleasure to enjoy one another, both in Proverbs and in the song of Solomon. God says to enjoy one another physically and understand we have some young years today and I'm guarded and how I communicate these things.

But the Bible tells us that we are to be satisfied inside of our marriage, and to enjoy one another. Proverbs 518.

Listen to what Solomon writes, he said, let thy fountain be blessed, that's literally the procreative ability of the husband he speaking of, and rejoice with the wife of thy youth, B is the loving hind in Pleasant Grove, let her breasts satisfy the at all times and be there ravage that word literally means intoxicated, also with her love and so what he's talking about in Proverbs 5. If you're familiar with that passages is is don't give into harlotry. Don't give into sexual temptation rather allow that desire to be fulfilled in your marriage covenant. Enjoy one another fulfill one another. Hebrews 13 forces marriage is honorable in all, in the bed undefiled, you can defile the veteran marriage that's intimacy is is a blessed union.

There warmongers and adulterers God will judge so so not only parenting not only pleasure but also for partnership. Marriage is a companionship that God said it's not good for man to be alone. I don't want to go through life by myself. I love being married. I enjoy doing things with my wife having activities going hiking just living life raising kids is also a place where husbands and wives get a serve one another and and fourthly, it's also a picture.

Marriage is a spiritual reflection of Christ's relationship to the church and it's a beautiful picture of that institution were God who is the husband in Christ to care and love for his wife and the wife to show reverence and love and rep in respect to her husband so so it's a picture number three through five, Paul makes clear that celibacy is honorable before God and it's the only thing to do before your marriage to remain celibate, impure, but celibacy is not for marriage is not for marriage.

He says in verse three that the husband render unto the wife due benevolence and likewise the wife into the husband and we live in a day where people speak about the intimacy inside of a relationship in such crude terms. It's always filthy nasty it's it's it's a drug through the mud. God created this beautiful relationship and in the world just wants to turn it into something nasty and vulgar and and and here Paul doesn't use filthy language he's causing due benevolence word of perfection like like goodness and kindness and and and and read render unto the husband wife render under the husband husband render unto the wife the affection that you are that that's due to them and then he says and does what he says in verse number for the wife has not power or authority of her own body with the husband. Likewise the husband is not part of his own body with the wife what that simply saying is when you get married you you you give your body to your spouse. Just like when you get saved. God becomes like owns you first read the chapters ignited 20 or bought with a price. Our bodies belong to God.

Now when you get married, you're saying I'm giving you my life my body my heart and in a likewise and so you're committing one to another, you say, what is that mean that somebody can become abusive in a relationship, absolutely not.

That's wicked and sinful. It's not to be used for lust, not to be used for abuse. There is no way would a husband love his wife and trader in some kind of disparaging way here. It's saying though that were not to to defraud each other. That's why says in verse five defraud you not one another except it be with consent for type like like Joan keep each other from intimacy like don't refrain from each other God for bid, celibacy, and marriage essays there ever a time to abstain. Yet he mentions that in verse number five. He says, except it be with consent for a time that you can give yourself to fasting and prayer. If you're a we were going to the focus of fasting and prayer, we have something really heavy on our hearts. If you know to say God will give up food and and intimacy and anything else were to sacrifice for this season of her life, but notice what happens if you continue to refrain from one another.

You know you're not gonna fax 364 days in a year, wife or husband day use that in its also. It's a mutual consenting, you consent together with this, but it if you continue to do that. It tells us that you open the door up for someone to come into your marriage. Mrs. come together again. Verse five that Satan tempt you not for your incompetency or your lack of self-control. What happens is when people get upset with each other in marriage and and I've asked her long enough and counsel for the last 20 or so years and not seen where couples can get mad at each other and wives refrain from intimacy with the husband and and or the husband does that to his wife.

I've seen it go both ways in and then they get hurt and they get upset in and let me ask your question who's the only person that you're allowed to be fulfilled intimately with in the entire world. If you're married, your spouse, there's no one else. So if you're refraining from your spouse and your depriving them of that you need understand that is wrong to do. God tells us not to do that you are opening up the door for Satan to really get all your marriage and ruin some things. You're causing a very potential great potential of sin. There and so see each other as a ministry I can tell you it's better to give than to receive.

You need to love one another minutes to reach into each other in that area.

I would say this, make sure as husband and wife. You sleep in the same room and in the same bed. I don't care if there's crickets and I don't care if there's a 500 amen I don't care if you're a married couple this. There's over the years I've had people say we haven't slept in the same room for 10 years or 15 years really. I was at work.

We just you know what yet. You need to be in the same room and then after you get the same room, kick the kids out. This is the pastor of lighthouse telling you that surrogate. Do not let your kids sleep in your room and again I don't care if if a thousand people, a man or they don't.

You need to do this, you do not let your kids sleep in your you want to know the will you want to know how you put some coldness in the air of intimacy in your marriage.

Let little little body and father come in their always, there was no one to not don't day in the same room. I'm being serious about this, this, and I have counseled with some guys and in the accounts. It is the marriages where it has become such a problem that there is so much division inside of a marriage because they let that child in that room listen to you're not benefiting the child not benefiting your marriage and the worst thing you can give your kids is a broken marriage, and the best thing you can give them as a loving marriage who loves Jesus and loves one another. Amen. Believe your preacher when you say that what am I going to say to my child, you need to care more about your marriage and your child. Sure, I'll get a letter on that. I don't care and I will say this intimacy is and about filling your needs is about fulfilling your spouse learn to love and care for your spouse's needs. Also, God can give. Celibacy is a gift in verse six and seven, he says in verse seven. I would that all men were even as I myself every minute of his proper gift always single at this time. He was a celibate at this time in his life. Though I do believe Paul was married prior to this, reasonably, that is because it's believe that Paul is a part of the Jewish Sanhedrin, and if you're part of the jury's and entries archly pronounced in Hedren then you would be you would have to be married was a requirement. Plus, among the Jews, you they saw it as a sin if you were married by 20 unless you did devote yourself fully to the word of God so so I believe Paul is probably married and in and so that's what he says in verse eight I say therefore to the unmarried and widows. It is good for them.

But even as I and but but he was single at this time. He was celibate and he says not everybody has that gift, but if you do have that gift and then it's good to remain single get some answers for those who are unmarried and he talks about this in verse eight, nine, now in verse eight Paul is speaking to the unmarried and widows.

The word unmarried is the Greek word Aga lawsuit used four times in the entire Bible and its used only in the book of first grade. In chapter 7 the Lord Thomas I believe refers to the divorce. So Paul is speaking to four different groups of people in first Corinthians 7.

If you don't know these four groups are going to miss interpret some things we read first reviewed seven he speaks first of all to people who were never married.

He calls them virgins in verse 25, 28, 34, he talks of to the married people in verse 1928, 3334 and couple other verses and then he refers to widows who work spouses that died in refers to them in verse 39 and 40, as well as in verse eight, and then he refers to a group called the unmarried or the Aga moss in these are divorced people.

These are divorced people because he he's dealing he's not dealing in verse eight with the virgins because he referred to them in her city says I say therefore to the unmarried and widows.

There's only two ways you could be unmarried if you're a virgin and he refers them specifically so he would call them unmarried, or you've been divorced and so here is referring to the forest cousin even next time he uses the words in verse 11 and he says, but if she depart, let her remain unmarried, Aga, moss, it's again the second time it's ever used in the entire New Testament so so the unmarried when it's used in first of the seven is referring to the divorced, previously married people.

Paul was not married again at this point in his life. That's why in verse eight he says to the divorced and the widows here in verse eight remain as I he groups himself, and that group that's another reason why we believe he's probably previously married and that previous wife probably would've passed away is why they're no longer together. Verse nine a closing thought about celibacy in singleness.

He says in verse nine but if they cannot contain.

If you cannot remain a celibate, let them marry. It's better to marry Vincent burn with passion, that's the idea that if you don't have the gift of singleness and not more spiritual by struggling your entire life with sexual temptation getting married is what he sent to take a few minutes and talk to you about some keys how to find the right spouse has some some keys to finding the right spouse. Anybody want to find the right spouse you're married do not raise your hand. Okay not raise your hand if you did raise your hand in your married brain will be dealing with those marriage counseling sessions this week and will be on the schedule right keys to finding the right spouse. This is important.

Young folks in anybody that may be older than you are in a position to move toward a relationship.

According to God's will need to first of all seek to be the right person. Instead of seeking the right person. Instead of seeking the right person you seek to be the right person.

God will bring the right person in your life when you're ready. Sometimes were not ready yet to prepare us for that. Secondly, be content where you are repeatedly called to be content in the New Testament for Sprint.

First Timothy six Philippians 3 pulses to be content where you're at, realize Christ will satisfy you. He will be your fulfillment until God brings the right person. He'll give you the strength you need.

First Corinthians 1013 says you will not be tempted above what you're able to bear. Then, in any relationship, number three that you come in to build your relationship with God in the center put God in the center of the Bible says in first grade instant 31 whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever you do, do all the what the glory of God. Everything we do should be done for the glory of God put God first in your relationship you said you know how to do that yet you do fall in love with Jesus and it will come in and in and talk about him bring bring the person you're interested in to church read the Bible with the pray with them but Christ at the center and why should you put God first because who would you rather marry the person that God has for you, and desires for you. The person that you would want. You want to marry who you think is best, or who God knows is best I can tell you we've all messed up and in probably dating going out or sometimes don't raise your hand if you're married, but of that, but you get in long relationships we know how to do that we want God to put us in a right relationship they meant. Also, if you put God first, you will quickly eliminate people that don't want that if you if you say hey you know I you know really want Jesus Christ to be the center of our relationship are really when Jesus will you know whatever happens, you're this friendship we move into like being more than friends and begin to date or whatever, that we would have Jesus at the very center of their light weight what you talking about this or look at you like you're crazy and that's not what you want to be a part. Amen. You don't want somebody who doesn't want Jesus you want to be in a relationship with someone who loves Jesus more than they love you there's no one the greatest thing that I get from my wife is that I know she loves Jesus more than me. She would never have dated me we would never be married if if if I didn't love Jesus ever know what would we know what she's like no way to shake it, that are only good night break your neck down. Three. Number four. Build your relationship on the spiritual features over the physical and physical features will fade out as of these young ladies like Mary Capt. America.

We are not going to marry Capt. America and the but if you fall in love with Jesus and he's in love with Jesus. He will be your Capt. America.

So you need understand that that those physical features are not what will what what's what's the foundation of a healthy relationship. It's it's the spiritual elevate the spiritual over those things have conversations with your kids don't have a list of things that you desire among your future spouse.

It's no different than an unbeliever's desires right. If I do not date an unbeliever second gradient 614 says be not unequally yoked together with unbelievers, you say well I'm dating somebody who's not safe right now will don't don't be in a relationship like that do not owe we've been going out for 10 years will then break that off will will will put break that off and if God will save them. God will save them don't think God's blessing will follow you disobeying the word of God as I can tell you they don't have the same view of sexual intimacy as you do if you're with them for 10 years and you're not married you're probably in her you're probably causing some lines maybe not, but I would soon, probably so, unless I don't want so do not date an unbeliever. They don't have the heart for the things of God are not even a Christian. The Bible commands us not to do that.

Number six. Be patient and do not skip over the friendships that the patient in the friendship stage.

Learn to enjoy just each other's company totally no physical know nothing, just friends. This is a lifetime commitment. You want to know the person before you spend the rest your life with them.

Number seven. Build your relationship on love and not lust have boundaries that that protect you from physical lines.

It would get crossed. Lust is a taker. Love is a giver lust demands now lust loves is always love seeks righteousness luffs lust seeps seek self-fulfillment. Number eight. Set clear limits guidelines and boundaries before you get into relationship. First Peter five eggs that Satan seeks to devour. I can tell you you don't have some boundaries and guidelines people people say this to me.

I don't know how I don't know how we messed up pastor I don't know how it happened was over to your house you knows midnight. We were watching the movie the lights were off. It was dark.

No one was home.

I don't know how we did this only we were in church last Sunday we heard your sermon. We were like you would go to him for God and we mean you don't know there's no one in the world that can withstand that that's that's called the KDUMB don't do that. Don't do that. Don't be alarmed by yourself.

Who is this legalism know this is not legalism.

This is safety safe and prudent been doing this for more than two years, all right.

You want to have a pure relate, let me ask you, would you rather have a relationship that honors God or fulfills your flesh would you rather have a relationship that God wants to bless a relationship or you lose his blessing and also girls need to know this because I don't think girls know this. The way you see guys is not how guys see you, I mean I know today that there are there are. I don't even get it, but there are guy like of a guy came in today was shorts up to year everybody be like God is not one person in here that's attracted to that know how this stuff comes back.

I see my gray puzzle box 12 pictures on my grandpa, your legs, what are you doing is there no decency is its core, but but but girls you need understand this is very serious.

You, the Bible says did not put a stumbling block before the people you what you may not be attracted to her, turned on by. I could so you guys don't say they see things differently. You don't want to bring a stumbling block into the picture with them. If you're dressing and provocative ways with holes up to here in holes in the back and trying to show half your leg used a weird way I did.

I have so many genes at home that I've worn through him like putting stuff all over patch up the holes in the legs and thighs in the bottom part is where it tears it is like you know you try to conceal that stuff. But today they sell them that way by them that if they only so so anyway but just just protect yourself if you're dressing in a provocative way you can attract the guys that you would want to marry. And God would not want you with dress in a puerile way and parents make sure you help guard that the Bible says don't put stumbling blocks and occasions the fallen others. What I guy come to me a few months ago.

This guy came out of a world of brokenness and addiction is living for Jesus.

Now he loves the Lord and he said this to me is that pastors anyway somebody to talk to couple those ladies because they are dressing so provocative ensure she said I can't even hardly get inside the he said I've for so long only look that way, that it's hard for me when I see women dressing in inappropriate ways I can tell you ladies you're putting it if you do that God is not okay with that, you're putting a stumbling block before a brother in Christ who loves Jesus and says I can't even get in there to worship because somebody's dressing up her adult it's not cute it's not thought you to me at all the girls dressing like in a very inappropriate way. I never would've dated situation I was in some other godly before that situation is what I want somebody who's pure and loves Jesus and is not going to be attracting and floating around with other guys elicit some I think a lot of girls are just completely nave to. They do have any idea that you guys are not nave to. There should be a that somewhere the steps and says hey I'm not the he did is I know how guys think you need to be protected were brothers and sisters in Christ in this church and we need to protect each other in so you'll never hear this anywhere else. You will turn Fox News owner, ACN, MMS, ABC, and the like to know what girls you really need to address modestly.

Also gives him word of wisdom to the parents do not let your kids get too serious, too young and relationship physical temptation is hard enough how much harder when you let them get involved in relation so early. I seen people that are 11, 12 years old. Act like they're in a marriage relationship. It's the silliest thing in the world. Your 11 year your 11 you're 12 years old acting like they own the other person like they're in some kind of marriage relationship. You always have some Terminator dragging some guy or girl around like they owned and how dare you talk to the lawyer that you think you are a child you don't act that way. One day when you're married anyway and so stop you don't control anyone if your kids and I like it like that you get them out of that. The Bible tells us in first Corinthians 723 or bought with a price, be not deserve it meant I like to see some guy come a long drive do that when my daughters already so you asked me this question when is the right age to date. When is the right age to date now again this is a parent's decision. You run your home you needed to figure out how to do that for me in my home.

It's never, never, in the discussion. I know how to answer this likely was uncomfortable. I thought a need to say something about when there like 16-ish-ish but each child is different. You are married, mask you could you dating your past you would say well I would love to. I am so glad I dated that person you would say I would have withhold myself from all of those relationships for my present spouse Ray Grant. That's a case for Every prayer, every marriage should be raising her head, died. If I saw her of your vision.

Okay so you know if that's the case for you. Why would you let your child you think you're going to get married when there 11 all the way through it.

You know what happens is you learn to get a relationship you open up some doors that don't need to be open windows, doors get open.

It's hard for adult and so protect that protect your young people so important and let me say one last thing a device once you know you're getting married, have a short engagement have a long friendship relationship that your time when you know you're getting married 3 to 6 months is long enough and Mogen said a minute. He is 34 days away from getting married 34 days. He is a Manning short engagement. She's like not take another couple weeks in August keep extended not know he's I 34 days there even cut it down I will give it 34 days of you know what people get engaged is the place of temptation. It's hard. It's not easy and so just understand. Don't don't. People come in they say well to get married and so really we had married in two years years remaining two years. Well you know we we got done with school. You really units could happen in those two years struggle struggle and it better that you have holiness in your flowers picked out right we go down the one that's point we got to be done. All expanses teaching on divorce and remarriage in chapter 7 he says in verse number 10 will move down quickly through verse 16. But he tells us here because there were some people. For some reason, wanting to get a divorce and he says to them in verse 10, and I say to the married I command you, and I died with the Lord. This is something the Lord taught on.

Let not the wife depart from her husband don't get a divorce and these divorces were happening for something other than adultery because Jesus dealt with that of Paul is dealing with them divorcing and these are these are some different cases here and so Paul says do not get a divorce. But if you do get a divorce or something other than adultery. He says here in verse number 11 it works. You get a divorce for any reason.

He says in verse 11.

If she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband but not the husband put away his wife, don't be getting divorces will be getting divorces like remain in your marriage and so this is not a suggestion. This is the will of God. God says if you if you get a divorce remain unmarried, or be reconciled. Now the question comes is this what if we got a divorce, not based on adultery and now my previous spouse is married to someone else.

I can't remarry them anyway. Do I remain single. The rest of my life. I'm struggling. I would like to get in and move toward a marriage relationship was there was someone else.

Then you and you were divorce for legitimate reasons than their remarriage constituted an act of adultery and act in a perpetual gulch of an act of adultery and that would set you free. As I mentioned last time last week, though their marriage was an act of adultery. I do not believe it is perpetual adultery because it's viewed in the Bible as a legitimate marriage. Notice verse 11 again, but if she depart, let her remain says unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband. Also, it would when you go over to Matthew 532 words would work leader.

Jesus says if she did it if you get a divorce and remarriage units are illegitimate reason to get remarried but he saying that there there is still a legitimate marriage so so God sees that marriage is being legitimate, but also verse 11 highlights that when that divorce happens, your viewed by God as being unmarried. He said letter remain unmarried when you get a divorce for legitimate or illegitimate reasons. When the writ of divorce as we taught on last Sunday happens then then you are divorced are no longer married in the eyes of God. You can't say that to somebody we are still married in the eyes of God. Know you're not of divorce happened and you are divorced now going on. He talks about what a Christian should do is married to an unbeliever. Some the questions that would've arisen was what you do if you're married to nonbelievers. Should my like bringing Christ and belie altogether in the language of second Corinthians 6 that should I divorce him and marry a believer. But what if they want out so I let them go or should I try to make them state is the only way they can get saved is if I keep them in this marriage and so they're all these questions.

Jesus didn't directly speak to this. So Paul says in verse 12, but to the rest be guy, not the Lord is simply saying this is something Jesus didn't address. He says if any brother hath a wife that believes not and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away and we say if they want to stay in the marriage stay married. God is not in the business of ripping families apart, but building them up together.

The question comes but doesn't the unbeliever crop the home relationship they they they they were worried that you know if you're married to nonbelievers that does that kind of the file you is a Christian and he says in verse 14 for the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife and unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband what he saying is, on the contrary, the unbeliever does include you. Rather, you purify them. This sanctified people say what does this mean does this mean that your spouse is now saved because you got married to them. Well, if there saved by you being married to them.

If that is that's what sanctified means that no Christian could ever be married to an unbeliever because the moment you got married they would be a believer right so what he saying here is that that you the grace of God that's on your life that Christ is in you that grace now comes down upon that home.

Remember when Jacob was in the home of Laban in Genesis chapter 30 verse 27 is working for his father-in-law and Laban said in the him because Jacob had the blessing of God upon human and Laban said, I pray the if I have found favor in nine eyes Terry. I have learned by experience that the Lord has blessed me for thy sake, so the blessing of God fell upon them because of the presence of God upon Jacob's life. Numbers 14. He says else were your children unclean, but now are they holy.

Again, this doesn't make your children safe, but they have a greater potential of being saved because the grace of Christ is upon that one parent who is a believer and much more likely that they would come to know Christ and that situation now. Paul then declares for Christians to stay married if the unbelieving spouse will stay first Peter chapter 3 verse one through four talks about wives should should remain in that marriage and and and seek to be a testimony there unbelieving husband because they could help bring them to Christ. Now another question is what if they want out of the marriage because your Christian he says in verse 15.

If the unbelieving depart, let him depart.

A brother or sister is not in bond or bondage in such cases. But God called us to peace. And so if you're married to an unbeliever they want out. The Bible tells us to let them go. Let them go. Let them it's it's it's literally command you have to let them depart. I've seen people through the years to try to force their unbelieving spouse to stay in a marriage. You know what it does, creates incredible tension problems and in what is he say the universe 15 God has called us to peace.

One of the things you loses you lose peace you're married to an unbeliever. There like a one out your Christian only part of this. The Bible says let them go you desire their salvation you desire reconciliation desire. The marriage work out, but if they went out, the Bible says you cannot make keep them in.

Says you're not under bondage the word bondage there means that you're no longer bound by that marriage and according to first Corinthians 7. Here, the spouse is free from the marriage bond.

When the unbeliever wants out when you let them go, then you're free and according to you compare this to Roman seven verse one through three were talks about your bound and marriage into your spouse's dies and you're bound and that marriage legally.

But when there when when they die, then you're a widow in it, or widower, and then you can your freedom merits of the bondage. There is talk about the bondage of marriage and then you you would be free to remarry. According to Paul and Ann according to the word of God here. If you have an unbelieving spouse wants out you let them go and then you're free to remarry biblically time the divorce is allowed. Remarriages allow them to give you three reasons biblically why you can get remarried. First of all, in the case of continual adultery or sexual sins by your spouse was someone else going around Matthew five in Matthew 19 Roman seven. According to Roman seven and also according to first grade in seven verse 39 that if you if your spouse dies.

The Bible says you can remarry.

This is only in the Lord. Though your only to marry someone that the Lord would have you to marry, according to God's will that they would be saved and so forth. Then first review 715 whatever spouse who is given unbelieving spouse. They went out of the marriage, then you can let them go when you're free to remarry. So those are the three reasons for the freedom to to remarry now. Last week I address the situation about what what if you're married to somebody who's abusive and they're abusing you, you know, and I say this abuse can come up in different ways. Some people units, verbal abuse, emotional abuse, mental abuse, it can turn in the physical abuse but I've been a pastor long enough in counseling long enough that I know that sometimes people just don't like their spouse and they turned them into a monster. I talk to guys before talk to ladies in counseling situations before where they they they talk about how terrible her husband is nothing in this guy's gotta be the devil then I go sit down accounts with him, and after talking to him for an hour like he's married to the spawn of Satan like in the middle of the devil like a just a mass I made some some tornado messes like it's on which you would be in that situation for an and in and what happens is you need to realize there there are some people who try to make the other person out to be something they're actually not there so much hate so much animosity that they call abuse was not actually abuse it just takes another person and so there's always three sides to the story. There's his side her side and then the truth always remember that. Remember that they meant. Leave me. Believe me when I'm telling you this so in those situations where there is legitimate abuse.

You need to get yourself out of that situation, especially if it's any type of genuine abuse it yourself out of that situation then church discipline would get applied to that situation we would confront the individual who's in the sin if they repent then we work through reconciliation. If they don't repent then they would be viewed over and over if they continue to be hardened and obstinate, they would be viewed according to Matthew 18 verse 15 through 17 as an unbeliever, and if they wanted out of the marriage would be free to let them go and you would be free to remarry. If they are viewed as an unbeliever, and they get into another relationship that would constitute adultery as well and then you would also be free to divorce and remarry. So that's that's how that situation will work out. He says in verse 15 God is called us to peace. God is not called us to constant the vision you say will what about a fight if we got a divorce and then what you know. I feel like I'm the only hope of them getting saved. So he concludes in verse 16.

What knowest thou life without shall save thy husband or what knowest thou, husband of man without shall save thy wife what he saying there is this how do you know that you'll be of the instrument to bring them to salvation God's one who saves you can plant seed water CIBA God gives the increase. Don't put that burden on yourself as being the only one.

So in conclusion, always dealing with a culture filled with perversion, divorce, broken families, in our culture today is seeing the same things. Listen. Miracles are are the downfall of a miracle which is the downfall of the family what we just did with homosexual marriage is going to has caused a catastrophic event inside the family unit. America is on a spiral down friends. You think it's bad. I promise you it's going to get much much worse. You do not mess with the institutions of God and have light ramifications. We have called destruction upon our nation through easy divorces through twisting around what marriage actually is.

We need to know what a man and woman are these days in our country but the Greeks would be shamed that us but if you cannot remain single today if you can remain single. It's a blessing fully devoted her life to Christ. That's great. You can't remain single you desire to get married and get married. Celibacy is not for marriage. You need to love one another, care for your partner.

Don't be cold, distant.

When seeking a spouse keep God first put God where he needs to be elevate the spiritual qualities in the person you're looking for.

Stay pure have accountability and don't drag out and engagement. If you're divorced from biblical reasons remain single, or be reconciled to your spouse you can be reconciled due to them already remarrying, then you're free to do then you're free to let them go and move on into a new relationship. If you're divorced on biblical grounds, sexual unfaithfulness, or an unbeliever who wants out you desire remarried and you're free to do that. What if I am in a marriage that was not based on biblical grounds for the Bible teaches that still a legitimate marriage repent. Over the past seek God and he will bless your life if you seek him and that we had people assume we that people has come the lighthouse who been together for 10 years, have three kids together, they get saved here, they say pastor, what are we supposed to do. We both came out of a situation 15 years ago that was not lawful. Now were together been married for 10 years that been together for 10 years now we have a 10-year-old eight-year-old and seven-year-old. We simply just God wants to split up, as we have no biblical basis to get remarried to get married, you know what I believe. I believe it that God wants you to take whatever situation you're at right now and honor the Lord you've already broken notes you've Artie violated God's word need to repent of that you recognize that sinful and we've seen I married people in the situations. The reason I do that is because I believe God is not in the business of ripping families apart so you come here get saved now mom is gonna live over here daddy over there. They can never be together and to split your home up. Okay, that's what God's going to do your family and so sometimes you get in such a messy situation. There's a letter of the law. And then there's the then there's the spirit of the law and sometimes there are some areas that gets very messy but you know I gets messy because of the hardness of our heart. What would Jesus say it's never God's desire for divorce is never God's desire for premarital sex either but as you continue to violate is because the hardness of your heart got up, made allowances anybody thankful that God's grace can cover the hardness of our heart. Sometimes, so today I threw the study on elevate marriage. Let's put it back on the top shelf where Americans try to bring it down to the bottom shelf you're young you wait you be pure you love Christ, your husband or wife you put on such a display of love your kids, you know what I desire my kids to say my desire my kids that say throughout their life. II want to marriage just like my mom and dad on a married Ella want to marry somebody like my dad. I want to marry somebody that loves Jesus that loves their mom and and and though the just just this is who want to marriage like there's an input that will display if you want to bless your kids that that be that blessing.

Let's all stand together this morning.

Maybe they got spoken your heart.

Maybe you just want to come and spend a moment of prayer. You're welcome to do that in your young person maybe just want to come and say godly, you just protect my life.

Let me be consent. Let me be led in the direction you have me to go with whatever future spouse you have for me. Maybe today you're struggling with some area of your life.

You just need God still with your heart and maybe there's a spiritual decision.

You need to make. Maybe you've never turned your life over to the Lord Jesus Christ. You've never truly repented and given Jesus your life. While today I'll be down front.

You can come today. Trust in the Lord is your Savior.

Give your life to Jesus Christ. Maybe husband-and-wife unit Rager Cedar at an altar. You're welcome to do that.

Father, we do thank you for your word. We pray your blessing now on this invitation. In Jesus name, amen

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