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April 25, 2022 6:00 am
One of the most sensitive areas in all of our lives is our sexuality thoughts we have things we see things we've done and often our sexuality is wrapped in shame and guilt God does not want to live with shame.
Stay with me today as I share a story of a close friend delivered out of the chain sexual. Thanks for listening to this Edition of Living on the Edge children Living on the Edges of international discipleship ministry focused on helping Christians just a minute. You will pick up where he left off series Jesus on filter volume 2, but before we begin looking try using chips message containers outline Scripture references to download these message notes just go to the broadcasts about LivingontheEdge.org list or step for little else.
Okay, let's Georgia for the second half of his message from John chapter 8 as he continues unpacking how we are to quickly handle sin. Second thing, though, is that I've been around the block and churches to is a pretty significant reason why a lot of people don't go public and to ever deal with the things that need to be dealt with by speaking to a friend get to know each other really really well a part of his history. He was in full-time ministry. He had an affair that went on for a significant amount of time he lost his wife and he lived in that situation. He lived with the law he lived with the pain. He lived with all the things this is right. But this is where I'm at. There's like these two forces and one pulls at you so strong what you're experiencing in the sexual sin in the other pool that you know this is right and you want to confess you want to make it right with God and he said I so wanted to do this. But honestly, I thought God would forgive me but I just wasn't very sure about church. I just didn't know how I'd be you know received. I just I just thought I don't know that I want to go there I get email from Mark Kendall and she shared with me a little bit more. Their journey and I will tell you that Dave and Kendall's journey may be in the top 1% of the most wonderful moments I've ever had in ministry in my life of sin, the body of Christ, act and respond in the beauty and the power that God calls us to and see a man and a woman courageously deal with pain and be completely restored and want to share a bit of what she shared with me what you listen very carefully because here's what I know 50% of the men in this room are involved in pornography right now about 30 or 35% of 18 to 30-year-olds are currently sleeping together or living together are born-again Christians about whites not restricted to them.
Let's just where we have the stats sexual sin is epidemic in our culture and it's now epidemic inside the church and I think lots of people's souls are stuck, but that I want you to hear the inward journey that Kendall writes the night. Dave share with me about his unfaithfulness. He took full responsibility for his actions be shared openly and honestly. In that moment, God brought clarity perspective to my heart.
I too had come to a place of deep despair and lack of trust in God.
After Dave's chronic pain diagnosis and the loss of her baby says God opened my eyes to my pain as I looked at this man I've known for 15 years and I saw a man that was so broken and hurting so desperate to get out of physical and emotional pain so responsible for his actions asking for forgiveness. All I can say is God would not let me turn him away will reject him. I told him that I love them and I forgave him and I would be willing to work through this with.
We talked a lot that night and I knew immediately. There will be significant consequences for his job. I knew he'd be resigning and also know he would need to do it publicly. I'd seen this done both well and very poorly in churches, but I believed our church would respond well to us. I wanted Dave to be able to take ownership of his behavior and then demonstrate in real life the things we talk high school ministry and claim to believe I was also in need of support, and I knew going somewhere else would be very difficult. Listen to this. I believe the people of her church, who had already demonstrated their love and support over us.
Over the last years would do the same things.
I believe they would see in Dave. What I saw in him next week.
Dave shared in front of the ministry in high school, but he crossed the sexual boundary can be resigning. I asked to go up so that we could pray with them for Dave and see the faces of those that we loved and in a sense it was our last opportunity to lead through how we respond to failure the next weekend. An announcement was made in Dave's letter was read to nearly 3000 people in attendance, and weekend services.
We didn't go to church that day, but the following Sunday. Talk about courage. The following Sunday. I didn't run.
They didn't hide they didn't repress, they didn't try to make up for the following Sunday we made our ways down the halls into the worship center as we done every week for the last eight years the first Sunday back. I was anxiously confident.
I believe people would respond lovingly toward us, but also new. It's hard to handle, and some people probably can't. I was so grateful for the families and friends. A demonstrated their love for us that first week in the next couple of months and now years people we know for many years would see us across the worship center or for down the hall and they would come right up, thus encouraging Dave and sharing their support and love for me and encouraging me to still meet with their students and they just love this with asked out asking details or questions were judging us.
Our friends protected us to protect our privacy.
They honored us in a way that will forever be grateful for. They continue to be people that we meet with on a regular basis for community and accountability acts of kindness and love allowed us the opportunity to heal in our own time in her own way without shame and without embarrassment to hear the hope of been a Christian since I was 12 and I walk with God through some very difficult times.
This is listen carefully, God is going to ask those of you and those of us who are involved in sin, but specifically sexual sin to come clean.
The way Dave did, and here's what you will experience from God. I've been through difficult times, but I have never experienced the intimacy and the general love of God in ways that I have in the season by life's presence has been so real it's almost tangible through his word, his people's creation is undeniably spoken into my life gently meeting me and slowly walking me through the deep places of pain and fear and shame, and giving direction and clarity and hope and perspective the process of obedient surrender has been slow. Not without missteps and failures, but I see the trajectory of life is heading toward wholeness and intimacy in my relationship with God and with Dave how does healing like this really occur once the process how do you move from simply experiencing forgiveness and knowing in your heart and ask God to forgive you.
How do you get to where there's a level of courage that you can own some stuff and get some stuff in the open in the appropriate way with the appropriate people and be forgiven, but then be restored to have your soul set free to have the guilt and the depression. David send sexually and for a year. No one knew about it. Psalm 32 you might jot it down and some of you will read it go. That's me said when I was silent about my Senate was oppressive was like being in a desert literally as you read Psalm 32. Here's a man is clinically depressed when we deny when we shut down when we repress stuff in our soul, especially sexual sin. It erodes your soul will destroy you from the inside out. And finally he's confronted and in Psalm 51 you get this picture of a man who experiences the gentle intimacy grace of God. Friday morning as I was praying God really tap me on the shoulder know my sermons done about all said it's in the folder. The notes are down there printed and I really sense at first just a whisper from the Holy Spirit ship. This is so much bigger than you think I want to heal people. This weekend I want this to be a weekend of liberation and freedom and no more shame you realize how rare it is that the actual church body has done what the Bible says love supported courage doesn't judge helped did you just see this. This is an amazing picture. This is the hope that everyone wants to do. You understand it's not statistics.
These are real people and their some of them that are depressed are some of them. The currently having affair, some of them that are logged onto porn there some that are having homosexual issues and other heterosexual issues. There's others that it's it's about verbal stuff. There's others that are older and no one thinks that what they do have these lustful pots and sexual sin is an addiction. You might be asking why take this much time I want to take as much time because this is a victory on a celebrate there really is hope and I will take this much time because when sexual sin has a hold of your soul. It not only does something very devastating to you. It impacts your relationships, and it cuts you off from the grace and the power of God in significant ways. You won't be fruitful. You want to experience love and joy and peace and patience and goodness and kindness and gentleness God will not use you even remotely like he wants to honor some gifts and honor his word, but there is no hope for the world out there until there's a revolution inside of the world and here in Psalm want to talk to you about why sexual sin is so devastating and how to get out of it okay. The research they've done. By the way, this isn't about how I'm gonna try really hard one more time trying hard doesn't work. The studies they've done on those hooked on pornography. It is as addictive as cocaine, crack cocaine or heroin.
And when you study the brain of the men and women who over prolonged period of time who are watching and hooked on pornography. The changes in what happens in your brain are exactly the same and therefore what it does to your life.
What it does to your thinking what it does to relationships. It's not some casual sin, but doesn't have any impact on anyone else. I'm gonna ask you to turn in your Bibles to first Corinthians chapter 6, and I all read without significant comment, a passage that outlines what the Bible says sexual sin does to us and why because what's happened is we were letting our people is not that big a deal. I mean, I know you know we all have our issues. I love God. I'm doing what I'm supposed to do. I just have this problem and I'm not hurt anybody and just log on to hear or you know I got on and on loving relationship and you know so what I'm having an affair is only one thing that we have totally redefine God's standards immediately.
You know God understand this just economically more feasible to live together at this stage of our life than the separately with the big deal you pick it up. Chapter 9 here's the big deal chapter 6 I'm sorry verse nine do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God in the outline so what's wickedness in God's eyes.
Don't be deceived, so I mean we can actually think these things are wicked. Yes, don't be deceived.
Neither the sexually immoral or idolaters or adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders, Northeast, nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. So you just say some sexual sin. To me that this or the ground looks pretty even those kind of sins habitually practice you will not inherit eternal life. And that's what some of you were you now, but you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, the spirit of our God, that's who you were.
Behaviors can be a part of your future do not idolaters or adulterers you're not a sex slave of any kind. Hear us here at Bonner human wants. You are clean. He loves you and the nosing is on his is everything is permissible for me but not everything is beneficial.
Everything is permissible for me, but I will not be mastered by anything food is for the stomach and the stomach is for food, but God will destroy them both. The body is not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord and the Lord for the body. The logic I mean it was a super sexually permissive place is Corinth. I mean you can get any kind of sex anyway that you wanted at any time the temples and the prostitutes heterosexual homosexual for all you name it. You got Ken and the logic was, wait a second, were new Christians now, but legitimate desire should be filled when I'm hungry for food. I should eat when I'm thirsty I should drink something when I want to have sex go have sex in the apostle Paul saying I'm I'm breaking the logic. Why by his power, God raised the Lord from the death.
It will also raise us.
Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself.
You have real union with him. Shall I take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute never. Do you not know that he unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body. Ford said the two become one flesh, but he unites himself with the Lord is one with him in the spirit to get the idea. If you're a follower of Jesus, you are one with him. His body belongs to you. He loves you. There's this union with him. Do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have received from God. You're not your own. You were bought with a price. Therefore honor God with your body. He sings not about what's convenient is not your opinion is not what you think. What I can tell you he was all the research all the research that we have just absolutely supports this. What's the big deal. Can we love one another. We need to try it out.
I heard a woman last night. This is very timely. My son came to me he's in a group of Christian on blob Loblaw. He told me he and his girlfriend are looking for an apartment because you know their schooling in economics and will. Here's what you need to tell your son. This is what God says regardless what he thinks and by the way, live with your girlfriend when you eventually get married or not 10 years from now longitudinal secular study, only 1/10 couples be together 10 years later, because when you live together what you're saying is let's try it out but not make a commitment and what keeps people together brings real intimacy is a very commitment the very thing you're afraid of is a thing will cause it to fail and God knows that he created sex so there's glue in a relationship and there's a sense that I'll never leave you on to betray you.
It's the ceiling of a covenant and it's for our emotional good as far relational could. It's for our physical good choices flee sexual immorality. You never slide out of sexual morality. You don't like say okay well I think God truly speaking to me. You know what I think the seat next Friday. How do I mean the words flee in and here's what I can tell you there's a few rare moments in your life and one of them is right now where God is speaking to some of you, and it's getting increasingly clear and there's a war going on in your mind, what about who she found out who, what about this or the implications here.
This might mean in the spirit of God is going come come home come home you be so glad you did everything but what about what about what about what about Mike so to give you very practical way to come home. That's Jesus is saying to you neither do I condemn you grace go and sin no more. And the question is how, when the prodigal son came to his senses.
He turned and where to come home only legal acronym that is just a quick way to know how to come home. The H is for honesty.
Just the sound okay just write this HO MEM going to be some very clear and give you a chance to act on it today.
You might jot down some one 4518 the Lord is near to those who call upon him, to those who call upon him in truth will listen to you. David would say in Psalm 51 God desires truth in the innermost being. Later he would say if there was a way to earn my way back or make up for it or do some burnt offering, I would've done it, but the sacrifices of God are a broken spirit and a contrite heart. A broken spirit and contrite heart. Oh God, you will not despise if you'll get honest and is the first step I mean you will experience God like never before. He'll give you the power will take care the future. Don't worry about what's going to happen or all the implications, or will he understand, will she understand what about this.
What about that just get honest, painfully difficult to do the O is for openness. You will not ever be free from sexual sin until you get it out of the secret world secrets have power secrets destroy your life. That's what all through Scripture the deeds of darkness jot down if you would first John because I want you to look at these later. First John chapter 1 verses five and six if we say we have fellowship with him Jesus and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and the truth is not in us.
But if we walk in the light as even he himself is in the light.
The blood of Jesus keeps on continuously freeing you for giving us. You gotta get this out in the open going to do it. Your complaint you get it out in the open casket question right now is because some of your blog as you listen to Dave and Kendall on the video.
Did anybody think less of them didn't anyone look at that go while or down deep in your heart see whenever grace and truth come together to down deep in your heart. Something inside say I wish I had the courage to do what I knows right see that because of the truth is I wish you I kinda wish this could happen, except I would be too excited about, you know, if we had like four different colored lights of different sins and like sexual sin could be a red light and and and anyone who had that been a light would go right over your head at him. It would really be great because it really would. Because what happened is you all my heart. Are you we got 595 proof we start tomorrow.
No green green would be the greed greed sin boy right cc this idea you have all these people in this room are making so much more progress. There's the power of the Christian life is God fills clean vessels not perfect ones clean ones gotta get it out the open. The M is for mentor, you will not do this alone.
Jot down Hebrews 313 but encourage one another, day after day as long as it is still called today least anyone of you be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. If you know anyone who's been through 12 step program. Anyone who's gotten serious in realizing their weight issue or their sex or their alcoholism or the shopping and they got really serious about what you realizes the root cause is never the symptom and the only way you make progress is you get honest when you get open then you gotta get some people and you walk the journey and you need the encouragement, not like once a year. This is like okay I heard it in God altering the Bible more away. Second, I've said this 44 times the last 43 days.
It won't work.
You can't do this alone and see what keeps you from what is it that keeps you from other guys tell me. I've driven 3040 50 miles to celebrate recovery are two different groups somewhere.
What because of the shame they feel that if someone knew we had to get over that. The final E is for exit. You do not slide out of sexual sin and jot down Matthew 527 to 30. Jesus is talking about adultery. You have said do not commit adultery but I say to you if you lust for a woman you commit adultery already with your heart long before psychology.
Jesus is saying everything starts with the mind and that hears his application.
Are you ready for this.
He says so. So how do you deal with this how you deal with what happens inside of the man or woman's mind when there's less: if you're if your hand causes you to sin, cut it off if your eye causes you sent poking out you think I'm glad I didn't go that message. Let's not know what a second is very clear. He's not being literal is watch this if I cut off my right hand and my problem is stealing or some sort of sexual sin. I can actually do that with my left hand I poke out my right eye. I can lust with my left. Did you know what he's saying here the idiom of the day be as drastic as you need to be to deal with this as radically as you need to deal with it be as drastic as you need to be so some of you here are involved in an affair summits physical summits emotional stop today exit but like not an email not a text is not a meeting they don't work. A quick phone call. I'm very sorry it ends today.
God has spoken to me this isn't good for you. It's not good for me. I want to see you again.
I'm sorry. I will never, I will pick up the phone, I won't answer emails. I will not meet you. I'm very done. Those of you that are hooked on pornography you need today to someone say here's my phone.
Here's the TV. Here's my computer put a password on it that I don't know. I'm sending an email to the church from finding a program from you to go to Christian on but today you will slide out of this. Here's the thing in this window or this moment right now. When were together as God speaks if you choose and act and do it today, God will deliver by Monday 24 hours later, the probability of you actually obeying will probably drop about 75% and pretty soon Cano seem really right but I don't think God you know can a chip does a little over the top and you know that I'm not sure that passage really means right we are liars where deniers in your soul will state prison like you to close your eyes. If you would. I just want you to hear Jesus and please, please come home please come home.
I wanted to give store make his application for this message. No more shame, which is from the second volume of his Jesus unfiltered series titled follow whether we realize it or not we all want to be in control. Control of our finances or relationships or work, but that desire conflicts with our relationship with God. So how do we change that will in volume 2 of chip series Jesus unfiltered.
He tackles the practice of following which begins with humbly allowing someone else to leave. Chip explains that when we decide to follow Jesus. We agreed to believe, trust and obey him. No matter what. And, in turn, he's responsible for leading providing protecting and loving us. Discover how you can experience the freedom that comes with following Jesus wholeheartedly. If you miss any part of this series, Jesus unfiltered volume to or want to learn more about our resources Chip Ingram map is a great way to get plugged in, which if I know you got an important application to sure for this message. But before we get there which take just a minute and explain why we ask listeners to support Living on the Edge financially will first of all, ministry is always issue of the heart.
And Jesus says that wherever our treasure is. That is where Hart will be the Bible also commands us to be generous and open and free and everything that I have everyone listening to my voice right now everything they have not is entrusted that to them. The second is the Bible's really clear. Not only that we should be generous but aware, we should be generous. I personally believe that your first commitment at your local church, but then there's that opportunity to give over and above that first portion and to express love because God says were ever you're spiritually ministered unto, that the apostle Paul would say to a group of Christians. I ministered spiritually to you and he actually went so far to say is you have a financial obligation to minister back to me in his situation.
It wasn't like for airtime. I guess with maybe a donkey time or or you know I need some new parchment sore. I need your financial resources to get on that ship to go from Corinth to Ephesus, and is just the same. Here you know if you get ministered unto one of the ways that you not only say thank you but then you generously pass it on to others is to support that ministry that's that's ministering to you. So that's kinda what biblically why we do it and you know there's just that the reality of need and it's a partnership than a team and so MP4 generous. I mean, I'm thrilled I'm very excited about how they do give and so I want to say. If you haven't, you can get in on this and if you have thank you very much well if you're benefiting from chips teaching now would be a great time to join the team. You could minister with us to help others receive the same blessing you're enjoying to send a gift or to become a monthly partner donate online at http://livingontheedge.org Donate all me up or just give us a call a 8883336003 that's AAA 333-6003. Your partnership is greatly appreciated as we wrap up today's program. Believe me I understand that a lot of people are both uncomfortable and convicted at and some of you just yearning and hopeful. I hope the stats are completely wrong about men that half of all the men in the church visit triple X websites at least once a month and have pornography addictions. But here's what I want to tell you there is hope.
Let me go over that little acronym for you to get home home with God. Home with your heart home with the people that you love the H is for honest just own your stuff just get real with God. He's not shocked.
Tell him and get real too, is open up. You have to tell someone as scary as it is, you have to get it on the table because the enemy is holding you hostage. The M is for find a mentor you need help.
No one is going to break sexual addiction or any addiction for that matter on their own and the EE is exit.
I mean, you literally have to make a dramatic whether it's pornography whether it's a illicit relationship, whether it's an affair.
I mean, you just have to exit and before you just feel overwhelmed with getting honest and you know opening up and finding a mentor and exiting. I just have to tell you of the scores and scores of men and women that I get to experience here and I've had in my past of people to overcome pornography.
People that have lived through the affair who have reconciled.
Here's what I want to tell you if you will be honest and take the first step there is hope this doesn't have to define or ruin your life but ship was we close you know a great way to get plugged in with our resources through the chip Ingram map.
There you can listen to past series sign up for daily discipleship. Download the message notes and much more. Let us help you experience God in a new personal way. Starting today with the chip Ingram map will join us again next time. This just continues its current series. Until then, this is the thanks for listening to this Edition of Living on the Edge