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Love and Marriage And God

Man Talk / Will Hardy and Roy Jones Jr.
The Truth Network Radio
September 15, 2019 4:00 pm

Love and Marriage And God

Man Talk / Will Hardy and Roy Jones Jr.

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September 15, 2019 4:00 pm

Will and Roy talk about the making of a Godly marriage.


This is the Truth Network welcome to man talk and write you by T8 W CM is talking and walking Christian men's ministry with their devoted to breaking down the walls of race, age, and challenging them to take their God assigned as our host will Hardy and Roy Jones Junior, a black guy and a white guy. Welcome to Mantell and radio and today we're going to talk about how men can overcome marriage difficult and man. If you if you married out everything about getting married.

If you have been married. Surely you have had difficulty in your relationship. I think we can all attest that Roy will if you have any like supreme like Tom Jim through merger experience difficulty that marriage and left the marriage that hopefully will give you insight to my health or get through that next time. If it happens. If your current marriage that you have difficulty with William exactly what we've all been through some level of storming them should ladies would say some major storms of the common right about now we hear in the back saying Amen amen to that.

Let's see what starts off when one of the major points.

I guess when it comes to that relationship that husband and wife have one of the first things that they have difficulty doing Roy is is talking about whatever it is that have calls them to be divided and see.

Somewhere in there in order for you to be divided. Chances are you taking your eyes off of the Lord and send now has entered in to cause you to not think clearly or to not be able to talk to each other in a way to bring the matter to the forefront there very well could be one of the problems will another thing that comes to mind is maybe an initial reaction early in the marriage when someone has brought something to the table so to speak of concern that bothers that individual Modelo sponsor correctly maybe just in a defensive posture of the sudden, listening, and talking through it, so it may have shut the other person down so they may decide that they don't want to bring it up anymore.

So therefore, the not talking about it was just building up inside and see if you don't talk then you never know where the problem initiated, you know, so communication again about whatever it is, and whoever brings it forward really doesn't matter to me because if there's an issue there's an issue now. The point is is if you have identified that there is an issue.

How do I begin to reconcile the issue that I have either with you know the husband with the wife or the wife with husband so first thing you have to do is you have to have faith in God that God is able to reconcile you back on to him. Second piece of that would be have the faith first so it would be have a conversation with God about what you're about. Explore with your partner about talk to your partner about. That's right, because again if they don't know you know what's what is bothering them, or how the marriage is affected because of something one or the other window knowing you never know about it. So having faith is in God is one of the elements that you need in order to move the marriage for Philippians 413 it says I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. So if if that's a promise that God gave then surely God will fulfill it. But you have to believe in God that he is able to work out whatever it is you have a president who will speak for you, through you to your other partner to spouse hey, you know, because that that spouse, they may be at a point to say well you know it's it's not me it's more you than me. You know I can't. I just simply can't go on doing whatever it is that you're doing and it's causing me to respond this way you have heard that a lot and in counseling, but see if it is it's left up to you will many people tell you viewpoint a one person reporting at the other person is always three point back after so there's a lot of truth in think self reflection is a key part of the start of this conversation. What is my role in this confrontation. What is my role in this unhappiness on settlements or was my role dyslexic communication self-examination first will then put you aware of your own role in this right and then when you sit down to talk to the other person you list can acknowledge it right out the gate say look this is some of things I've noticed about myself that is Royster communication. The things were doing that I need to improve upon and let me share with what's on my heart about how would love for us to get better. How we talk to each other how we get along how we function day-to-day. Those are some of the leading drug efficacy. Just because one of the partners don't want to submit to God. It still doesn't relieve you of the responsibility of not submitting to God right so so if if one is not submitting then you submit to God and say God bring my spouse to a point to recognize that I want to be that man to lead this family and to do those things that you have called me to do as the head of my household. Excellent excellent point will way to start the other piece of that is the even those that are both focusing on God still becomes a personality conflict at times.

We both love the Lord were both trying to live for him.

You know you let your guard down when you spending every night with your spouse in your wake up with her spouse in all that you're totally transparent. So then you get a little bit less guarded as time passes right get a little bit less sensitive to the other person's needs unless you stay focused on the other person right and that's another thing because of some opportunities. Marriage assembled and hopefully open up this set will build on the backhoe up further.

Just a little bit but then as men that leads and other problems was to speak candidly if I got a breakdown in communication with my wife. Then hence my intimate time with my wife now becomes very limited, if at all because she's emotionally attracted to me and if I'm creating a barrier there or something she's doing is creating a barrier for me that night she breaks down another major component of the marriage which then leads and other problems exactly. So when when we say half faith we say half faith in God number one that God will give you the right words to approach your spouse with so that you and and her can be at least at a point of initially engaging each other into communication and then you want to pray for God's strength because again Philippians 4, six and seven be anxious for nothing, but by prayer and supplication make your requests known unto God. So see that's a command for us to say God we have an a problem we have some communication issues. Pray that you reveal to me what to say to her or her to say to what her what she needs to say to me right with information respecting both sides.

As you mentioned earlier wills, not just the men that are listening to. Today we know there are some ladies who listens well so these rules apply to you as well. Is your Scripture references for both sides of the coin, so please take heart to this and have faith to begin with.

Second, go to Lord in prayer and supplication, and he will give you what you're asking for and he may bring the solution in a different way than you may think is coming, but he will answer prayers to bring you back together absently because heat he tells us again and and first John chapter 5 versus 14 be confident that if you ask anything according to his will that he will hear us so that the key is according to his will. Right so so if we're coming. If we're coming in our self, then God is not listening because we have to come according to his will and see every every difficulty that we have in our relationships, husband and wife relationship. Everyone that you have there is an answer in the word of God. So that's where we that's what we need to go to get answers instead of going talking to Susie and John and Barry and all all the other individual, you know, getting getting insight we need to start in the word of God because what will happen is say we go to these other outs outside sources and then I'll suddenly start putting things in our ear and then all of a sudden those things take precedent over the word of God and who sues the author of confusion.

Same as the exactly Sophie's you go to the wrong place with that knowledge without wisdom of the Council, the two neighbors to your friends at work to friends and church near you set yourself up for disaster assistance going happen is that two wills, one of the things we need to talk about as we go through the show today is the want to talk about the role of tongue and this is how you'd speak to each other, even before you get to this, conversation, because it goes better as we start the show if you respond in a way that draws a negative reaction from your your spouse then you may shut them down that moment.

Or if you do it enough that eventually shut down the quit talking not going one approaching the listed areas of confrontation because I don't have to deal with the results of the consequences exactly and see the.

The tongue plays a major role because the word of God tells us with the tongue we bless God we praise his name and then we turn around and we curse men so yes the tongue is is an evil. It is what it is when it's not control by the spirit of God leading and directing the least always save you counsel for doesn't edify uplift possibly enforce don't say it Scripture that we will talk about for so stored.

Ephesians 429 do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth, but only what is helpful for building others up if we all play by those rules do not say anything no matter how hard it is, other than something is going to build someone up, don't say it did not say no hey there comes a time when we have to approach come from confront confrontational issues we need to take on conflict management times is for sure nature of relationship, but generally speaking, if we don't speak in hopes of posting things. How much better with relationship spouse incorporate that into how you feel with your spouse for dinner. Take a break in just a moment to think about everything anymore words unwholesome with my spouse for our stop this from them and also a man to your CMM would love to have you join their community of men for breakfast every first and third Friday of every month and Bible discussions and fellowship at the best breakfast in town meeting location is at their gracious posterior First Christian Church in Kernersville, 1130 N. Main St. encouraged him a hard start at 7 o'clock on a hard stop at 8 o'clock. First time visitors eat for free. Join your host will Hardy Roy Jones Junior, a black guy in a white guy of affordable chiropractic in High Point.

As you might tell from their name, affordable chiropractic, even for the cash. Patient Dr. Jeff Ricky has been caring for patients in High Point for 34 years, physical therapy, such as ultrasound and spinal decompression for disc conditions such as herniation conference of care for auto accident injury patients with no out-of-pocket expense. Remember, affordable chiropractic on the W. Lexington Ave. in High Point Hall 336-885-1987 to man talk radio and Roy Wright reported break. We had given and talked about two things that a couple who was going through this issue should do in order to approach problems that they may be experiencing in a meaningful and godly way. First, when we say it was half a second. We said it was pray for the strength of God and thirdly they should have a respect for what the word of God says because well happen is if they start giving opinions about each other in reference to the things that that's affecting them, then I'll suddenly start getting away from the word of God so if the word of God is chastening.

You then let it chasing you because God loves us. Hebrews 12 and six said God loves those whom he chastens and he scourges every son he receives so so if you and I are going through something with the spouse and what when the word of God, come forth.

We need to receive it as it is and not question it because if we start doing that and like we said early in the first half of the show will start looking for outside opinions. So what about the person. Wills listen to the broadcast is not really grounded in the word do they love the Lord is not grounded in the word minister the time of the word nor B of the husband or the wife, what advice would you give them what I would say first of all if if there are young and Christ then they should look to a source and what I mean. A sources look to a pastor look to someone who is biblically grounded in the truth and let that individual minister to them from the word of God because if you go to a pastor, that pastor should number one be impartial so they should give you the word of God not taking one side or another. Let the word of God speak and then coach that man and that woman back to a point of receptivity when it comes to the authority of the word and what you're going to do with that word going forward. Let's talk about some of the damage that occurs will have this breakdown in communication. In the first comes the silent treatment. Second, comes the video likely to ultimately lack of intimacy in the in the relationship is a negative impact. Then the third thing which is probably most important is the collateral damage to the children so world this program about building men and families in getting them to take the lead role as God assigned them in terms of spiritual development. So what's important.

Listen to hears it. You may think is just between you and your your spouse, man or woman who was listening but the collateral damage is the people around is there sin, and worse yet is the modeling that you're doing for his children as they're getting prepared for their life there seeing what quota clips of normal behavior and their family and we know is not normal, but that they only know it is so they grow up to be adults. This continuum moves on, is never broken until some Holy Spirit of God loses one lives in brakes legacy so that's still folks are so focused on the moment and in the immediate gratification piece we sometimes fail to realize that what were doing today is can affect not just our own future self school affect the future self of our families and our children. That's right because you know everybody has feelings and and when when things are said to each other from the husband or the wife, and their feelings are hurt in reference to what that one said concerning them. That's damage and I can recall in our neighborhood that there used to be a husband and wife, and they had five children who lived across the street and we could lick literally look out our window and they would be basically fighting starting inside the house. Then they would come outside the house and then the children would get in the middle trying to break them up and you know it what it would just we would look at this and and we would say you know what kind of mindset will that rest with the children when they get to be there age will they respond the same way all you know will someone come and speak to them in reference to that this is an unhealthy situation. Well, good things, most people don't want to get involved with anything that's why some of the state of our country is the radius we talked about that before people standing outside looking for right when people see that they're not quite sure how to handle it back to the comment earlier folks, if you're listening and you and the situation just encourage you to get some help with the third-party special orchard earlier the pastor you professional Christian counselor to sit down and talk you through this can sometimes get such a wall built up that you can't pull it down and you know you need that third party unbiased viewpoint on pastoral shared earlier and I think that's important. It's okay is not at this astigmatism personnel. Talk to counselor is actually very healthy and I think of most people are honest and say after going they felt much better if take a couple sessions with her felt much better and much more ease and the good part of 1/3 party as they can put it on the light level playing field. They can take all the motion, at least give permission for the motion to surface and then manage that process whole lot easier than your you are sitting down our spouses could do and exactly the word of God tells us, and Psalms chapter 1 and verse two. Righteous man delights in God's law and meditate on it day and night. See that's part of letting the word of God show us the solution for a problem because there is no problem that we have that the word of God does not have an answer for you know so when we when we talk about studying the Bible and let the Bible show us the solution to our problem. That's part of respecting the authority of the word of God is excellent will the piece about going to the word of God meditating as long is so simple. In today's time with the way the Bible's been developed and enhanced in terms of all the cross-references of the should be no reason that you can't find a word that speaks into whatever situation you're in the middle of.

And so it goes back to getting in the word and studying law is basically studying the word gnosis is for those of the don't read about it might be That is not a whole book of laws. It's the book of direction in love. To assist children of God. There are laws in the members were supposed to obey this resource to do properly, but it's a love letter to us so if you're in the middle of struggle. What better place given to love letter from the father Almighty. That's right but you know but that that husband and wife must understand, you must understand that what you're going through someone else has been through that are going through it, or will go self is all in and all of us have been there. The word of God again says in Matthew chapter 7 verses 24 through 27 and I'm just reading part of that now that I'm a wise man does not only hear what the word of God says, but he does but we've talked about quite often outside of shows we need to be doers of the word, and that Scripture tells us that that echoes there as well. So being with being willing to obey the Scripture is again part of this respecting the biblical authority and understanding that the word of God should be the final say and whatever solution you have in reference to the problem you're going through. Who will you just don't know what been going through with my wife is used to invest some short people are saying: wife sin, but will you just don't know would've been going through with my husband and you're right we don't know, but we have a pretty good idea after being married as long as we both and that one thing we talked about for the experience should understand through all those times of pain and struggle what other people are going to benefit execs and topic, but we never have little or no idea what it means to struggle absently so we're not saying this just to be saying it you know some of these things we have experienced ourselves and and I truly have shared with many couples and many hours of counseling session so I have seen a variety of individuals of different nationalities, different denominations, even individuals who were different in reference to religion. It also.

I've seen what a lot of things that they have gone through and what one thing that is that seems to come up pretty often when I sit with couples who are going through things is the mantle of the woman might say something like this I wish I would have never married you or I just don't trust you anymore or you have something hidden, that you are not telling me that all of these things, you know, I've heard in these sessions and what it goes back to it goes back to what you and I are willing to do. Are we really willing to obey God. We really willing to accept his answer is no. Think you will, for taking us out with that I think is important is received close to show part two will be next with folks and to invite you to this conversation is make sure you don't say something we should never set in because you can never take it back and asked for forgiveness, which can never take it back and hope you listen today to close a sober mind. If you are not saved have been born again except the Lord is the hardest always been a sinner asking cover your heart take over your life. In turn, start living for him and get yourself in court by the fellowship I'm going Jones and I will Hardy thank you for listening to man talk radio, we wrap up today show. Be assured that TA W CMM talking and walking Christian men's ministry is building a community of men Christ followers with a desire to be servant leaders in their homes, communities, churches and work environments. Check out our website for upcoming events of regularly scheduled meetings, drop us a note for topics that you would like to have us visit in the future. Thank you for joining us on man talk today. Visit us at men walking the talk. This is the Truth Network

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