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January 10, 2021 4:00 pm
Welcome to Man Talk, with your Hosts Will Hardy and Roy Jones Jr. The topic this week is about the result of making New Year's resolutions, and why they are unsuccessful if done incorrectly.
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How about that you could tell him to get started. What years if you imagine it is 2021 are produced that are left there talking about what that were near our race start so however you will let your right hand.
See that because one of us is paying to folks that just is not because too many party fires around it probably would get my paperwork organized. I it's great to see we always good to be back Keith good to have you.
Thank you for all that you do force absolutely so well will well you know Roy with 2021 people have a tendency to do these things that we call make resolutions, resolutions I left. I laugh because I've done it myself so I'm not being here sitting here being facetious or nothing like that it's just because I know in times past resolutions that I've made more than likely I have not And there's various and sundry reasons behind that and so that's something we will talk about today. Yet I think part of the problem is the plural side of paper should be one resolutions that resolutions yeah but it might help you more successful at what the trends that are missing and I think a lot of people do that. They say public morning one if I dropped to keep one in a dimly some hay about the minute you bought three of the rest of the candy want exactly, but the top five reasons though that people make resolutions and I know there's a ton of listeners out there will listing and they all know the number one reason why they make resolutions and we can all say together audience 123 lose weight and eat. Change your eating habits so I know some of you out there were saying it with me.
In others you would like to say that because we know we had At least two listeners in the US those abroad may be saying lose weight without really very healthy.my really good Americans we are extremely overeaters we bring overweight extreme overeaters.
We are but lose weight, exercise, dieting, eating healthy you know all of these things is the number one reason why people do that and so as we go through these things. We're going to simply explain why people can't keep yeah that's a good point in the essay. I think as people listen to a state that all got the reasons right is always a reason why one of things it would jokingly talk about what they could put too many things out there that try to change the master need to be a step change one thing at a time, or maybe two if it's a if the cost many children terms what you trying to accomplish and make small changes.
Yes, you don't don't try to do the giant leap for mankind or yourself. Just take small changes. Baby steps and we can be more successful when we see small changes because core small changes lead to big result. That's right. And people get a sense of accomplishment after hitting the small milestones and then they those leading to large's a good point. Exact so you talked about the top of the top five resolutions. People making start with the first one.
Lose weight that will give them to you in the combat chat about equipment seconds get into or out of a relationship and you know that that one right there. We have people doing that even though it's not the first of the year resolution for that matter because they're looking for ways you just just get out or into a relationship because of whatever reasons, but don't go back yeah for sure improve on money management yeah yeah and thereby talks about that in job location or relocation make a big ticket purchase house, car, or take a trip now where did you get your list from Wilkes about some to you, Mary, saw yours where where I got this list from his is experience some of those come from the will Hardy did not like this this life and all this is coming from counseling experience with with couples over the years, people who I've talked to chatted with and course things that I've read, but these five things here. We when we look at them and we look at folks maybe like relationship you know someone has got into a bad relationship and I say we I want to get out of this pretty fast so you know this happen like late last year like before the holidays. I want to get out so there they would think of reasons why they should get out of this relationship so we going to give you now.
The reasons that people make when they make their resolution we wanted come back and give you now seven reasons why people make these resolutions and why they can keep yeah that's good will and then also going to offer to you how to keep your resolutions and be successful to resolutions we've gotten steps that help you with that as well. Exactly back in the show for several reasons why we really make New Year's resolutions, and while we can't keep him.
I just need to do something different. I failed last year. Number two, you felt last or so I thought I'd give it another try number three I have something to prove to myself, approved others number for my friend or family member asked me to make resolution with them because they didn't want to do it by themselves. Mike resolution one number five. It will help me get ahead in life. Number six.
I'm doing this for someone else.
Number seven. I think I can. I think I can little engine that could mentality. But what really ready for the task at hand, and exactly so will meet when you look at these reasons why people make and why they can't keep them.
I think they're doing it simply Roy for the wrong reason. See went when we did one of the worst things a person can do when they make these resolutions is to make them at the beginning of the year January 1 say what I used to do is if if I make a resolution. I would say I'm to start this before Thanksgiving and so any time other than the beginning of the year because it it puts you in the same mentality that okay now that I'm starting this. You know half of the country is doing the same thing so so I feel good about myself that there someone in Illinois or Ohio or Florida that's doing the same thing that I'm doing so so that's the wrong reason though to to to do it and to start at the beginning of the year because if you look at a statistically two people fail after the first 30 days again and it's because they made too big of a resolution or the resolution that they made. It was not attainable. Yeah, that's one of the articles that I brought with us tonight or today wills. The was the whole thing with was about being overzealous in their approach.
You really been too aggressive and what versus what is realistic for me try to take on so you you have that right there Roy, what you yeah you some of the other ones as well. So I wanted very well will with your experience in counseling so forth. Number one this. These are the top 10 it came from an auto article by broad breads. Ohmic vice president marketing at path gate norms exercise more, to lose weight. Number three. Get organized. Number four learn a new skill or hobby number five lot live life to the fullest, which is interesting. Number six save more money spend less money right on the money line number seven which I don't think you had. Could you go quite this hobbit was quit smoking such a great great great resolution. If you do get started on that. We encourage you to stay on that one for your your benefit as well as her bounce around number eight spend more time with family, friends, number nine travel more in number 10 which I think most of us listening and being a part of. This would say read more and that we can go a little bit further and say read the Bible, especially men reach about 70 and then yet there's a and when we come back out here and just little bit will will circle back talk about some things to help people achieve those resolutions versus stay on the path of dropping filament with exit out to do for 2021.
That's right, because again, you know, if you make a is any type of goal or in there that's what you can call it a goal or resolution.
If you if it's not attainable to you or you have tried it before and you have fail then change your outset and attempting to look at something that's much more attainable for you, you know. And because you say well you know I tried losing weight. You know, four years in a row and then after the first 30 days or 45 days or 60 days you know I just quit going to the gym.
Well, now with the COBIT and everything going on a lot of the gyms are close anyway so now you will force to do things instead of working out with people around you.
You have to come up with your own routine, you know, walk, walk around the park or run get you some running shoes or some small dumbbell weights to work out and things like this and and because health is a part of the biblical being, you know, the whole man I should say you know health handheld heart health and I think that translate to a course of better life. So when we make resolutions, make them so that they are attainable. Yeah that's it like you indigo right's needs to be smart and which is Mexican something measurable and attainable. And that's important because back to the small monsters versus large Muslims because the many of the small monsters will make the large ones are set yourself up for success and inset a small gold begin with and then once you achieve that goal. Then raise the bar little bit raise a little bit further visual bit further and not that that's a key director will is so 2021 were off to a running start here so were first going into the second week of January just by date. Greg turned over to more Monday, whatever that that they make it make a big change from week number two coming up in the what we would like to ask you what you think about change in your life and the first thing should be something related to your walk with Christ. Is there something you could be doing better and something I think that we all should be doing. We should have been doing, especially those who say that they are born again is to get on a reading plan with the Scriptures and see all of us can do that and it doesn't cost you anything. You will have to go out and buy shoes and running gear dumbbells or treadmill or any of these things you have to do any of those things.
All you had to do is pick up your your word and get on a reading plan to read that and and I think that's that's a lot of resolutions. This may to Roy it is you.
People said I want to be able to read the Bible in the year because my first experience with with reading the Bible. What I said I want to have a reading plan. Of course they have all kinds of reading plans out there. Even in the Bible there is a reading play days. I was planning yeah right whatever Bible you get so what I did is I would always start. I would always start reading the Bible and then when I get to Leviticus I just I just lose it. I get I get to Leviticus it is like I Can go and the more so when I end up doing is the first time I read it I skipped over Leviticus. I skipped over Leviticus. Because of this I just can't sit here and read this this this this this in all these laws and he begot so-and-so and he began source. I did so and I know that you all filled the same way or have someone who has gone through that it has no objections to that will supply don't check on it. What's key to will, but reading is quality not quantity.
Exact so if you not if you're not chasing the quality slow down get the quality that will be right back. Thanks so much Jones 1080 W CM and would love to have you join their community of men for breakfast every first and third Friday of every month, Bible discussions and fellowship after the best breakfast in town meeting location is in their voracious poster First Christian Church in Kernersville, 1130 N. Main St. encouraged him a hard start at 7 o'clock on a hard stop at 8 o'clock. First time visitors eat for free. Join your host will party Roy Jones Junior, a black guy in a white guy affordable chiropractic in High Point. As you might tell from their name, affordable chiropractic, even for the cash.
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We appreciate your joints where it would have a national conversation about people and resolutions and how they get the rumor don't get the most people recommend ethics, but 80%. That was the statistic I saw one of the articles will 80% of the will set new years resolutions don't stay with them and so obviously they don't achieve them.
That's a 8/10 failure rate. That's a pretty high it is.
So with that list.
Talk about some of the things it can help you be successful with achieving your New Year's resolution like wheels ideal before the break. He said he starts is that he's got a special thing was a teleconference he started in November which a greater maybe late October and November's a great way to do it because then you're already in a pattern coming into the holiday so if you very off that that role just a little bit. Get right back on this one of the things we'll talk about here's things to do. So these are the 10 things that came from this article that mentioned earlier about ways to get prepared and also to be successful in your resolutions first mentally prepare for change to mentally prepare, we all know that everything starts with the right attitude right so you've got to choose what you going to choose which one accomplishment you take him to go after you mentally make a decision to do that. So you need to be mentally thinking in preparing for this upcoming change is right and and most people you know Roy, I think that when they go into it.
They go into it with the sense that I want to be access successful or I will be successful. I agree. And then of course there are interferences that happen and come into their life that prevent them from staying on their pattern or developing a mindset to say that I'm going to go ahead and see has instructions jumping all the time right and we know the specifics of the biblical nature states can do all he can to try to get to distract you from your walk. Refocusing God second set a goal that motivates you.
So when you're establishing a resolution should be something that you're excited to wills point that you're excited about that. You really motivated to try to achieve.
If you motivated by then that means you will be pursuing it as you will be focused on image are you going to stay on the journey much longer. If you motivated by in fact Roy if you motivated on a people will make sacrifices elsewhere in order to stay on their resolution journey.
They really will. And that's Greg your point number three. Here goes back to the first part were talking the first half of the show limit resolutions to a manageable amount and I would usually wear.
Picking and kidding about the plural side effect is inherent right here says limit resolutions to a manageable amount. So, complementary resolutions or small number resolution so that achievable, attainable, measurable, something that will help you achieve that milestones will keep you motivated to reach the next one absolutely, and it it also help others who are around you because what happens is when they see you motivated and staying on task that will motivate them. You know in whatever resolution that they may have.
If they live in the same house or their neighbor or a church member that goes with you and they see that you're sticking to witness like you know Mr. Smith is sticking to this thing I can do it to its right so they'll get mowed as right and most the most obvious was back to lose weight.
When people see someone's been successful in losing weight and you know it's I think it's a change of lifestyle to talk about losing weight and keep that in mind, it may require change of lifestyle to achieve your resolutions and that doesn't mean just a short term, it may mean a permanent change in order to stay on track and stay in the maintenance mode what you achieve that milestone and and this is why we talk about two earlier Roy that if you if you start that resolution of dieting and eating right before the holiday half starts then you know have a couldn't get so great after limit and anywhere it when actually it will actually help you get discipline because if you can make it through Thanksgiving and Christmas with an and manage your diet going into the new year. That is the best approach to take a quick moment here will what were talking this man talk radio's list talk to them in my quick what way if you could speak to every man personally and we are via radio and podcasts, but right now, what would be the one thing you would like to see every man this listening Dr. change in 2021 well and I think it's it's like going back to the mission. You know our mission and and that is for men to understand number one understand their role as a man as a husband as a father understand what that is biblically and then let God bless you to understand how you take that role forward in interacting with your spouse, your children, your community, your church family and other men, and absolutely and start to to download and invest another man what you got hold what is God wants you to do and how I want to do I. That's good.
I would echo that so number four. Be specific on your resolution won't be broad-based but be very specific in what you're trying to achieve. That makes it easier to manage. As you very pinpointed. Absolutely if it's quit smoking if it's breathing more than say okay I will read the Bible more than set a goal specifically for that. Don't summary my body more. I'm going to read a chapter a day and meditate on that allow God to speak to and then be an active listener what you read.
Allow God to speak back to you through those words.
Yes, because you have reading and then you have reading for understanding and self understanding is the key in the course were talking to those individuals who have been inked in Christ and you understood you understand by messages that you have heard what you should be doing as a man to continue with your walk in Christ that the so that you can have an effect on others. Number five, Roy is to break up the big goals into smaller goals and course. We talked about that to we did this a big goals and smaller goals because if he could certainly have the larger goal is your ultimate milestone but going to the smaller milestones builds up to that logical and you feel successful. On the way, don't get discouraged and see this, it leads into this next one. When people don't write the goal down so that's number six is to write the goal down record because everybody can't remember everything that they need to be doing just in a 24 hour information overload. It is and you know we're getting from all sources and so writing it down. Going back and referring it. Referring back to it. Get get your journal. You know, spare especially if your you want to exercise or manage money and do things like this, it is best to have a journey on that journal. I'm sorry but is a journey to a journey with the German you know we had to expand on anything that we had to put swing on it. Okay number seven okay, back from a bit of space at the start of this turnabout FairPlay turnabout trip okay. Number seven. Share your resolution with others and see that's what we were talking about is that if you if you exercising with people or you doing things with people that person can keep you motivated and you can keep them motivated eggs that go falls right in line for the talk about and show for months is accountability really have an accountability partner.
So here we share your objective in your resolution someone else. You just basically say I need an accountability partner on this journey. That person will help remind you help coach to help encourage and help you be uplifted while you're trying to achieve this goal absolutely and at that's great Roy. Okay number eight is automate where possible, you know, when I saw the okay automation will tell about something I've got to change, but going given with the talk mother yet they could make sense as soon as you hear that as a nowadays, there are a million different apps and services to help you follow through on your resolutions. These free tools can help you provide a constant reminder, we had the most obvious and will is the is the calendar function on your phone here because you can put a daily reminder and their 6 o'clock in the morning.
For those of you that are late getting up at six lately some of his get up quite much earlier than that to say six caulking home alarm to go off as a reminder that I need to get quiet quite time or it's the time I need to get an exercise bikers time to take a runner. It's a time for meditation.
It's a time for journaling is the time to pray with my spouse or pray for my family. Whatever it is that's a great opportunity. With these tools that's were just a real simple way to to help you stay on track exactly and and number eight review your resolution regularly regularly so we had to put emphasis on that.
Because what happens is how often to get it when people make it, they forget about it because they're not doing something that we talked about before I write it down, you know.
Referring back to it and things like this. So what happens is is we forget what we made a resolution about in an January 1, and then when it comes to February 16 just say we say what is it that we supposed to be doing answers because we had wrote it down. What we cannot know what we end up doing is we end up modifying the resolution.
If you can remember, you can't remember it at all and because they had wrote about so yeah that's that's that's the thing right there and then, of course, number 10. If you fall off track get back a quick yes and that's the key is get back on board. Don't kill yourself about don't break don't break self to death about it.
Just jump back on the hate mate missed a few days missed we come right back and on track and I heard one preacher, Roy.
He said it's not how hard you fall, it's how fast you get out. That's right, you know so and some of us we we fall pretty hard. You know when it comes to things that were going through during the day you never quite regularly to yeah because if if we are not keeping in mind renewed. It is so easy in this we will talk about that early and show Romans 12 to is is a verse that we quote often and it's because God would not have put it in there if he didn't want us to do it every day and he says daily so that means he knows that if we don't do it daily and our mind is not renewed in what what happens we will start entertaining thoughts will start thinking like the world IN Christ and and and God has brought us from that point in the need and I think it was before exit started to show for that SKU progress motions after scratching her head not lose before actually started book. If I remember correctly, not based stem be correct if I do apologize Alexa I think.
I think it was before he started his folks. It's interesting we think about resolutions because we've all done in the uncensored think of what's been the most successful resolution, but you should ask yourself, does it really work if not done differently. Use these 10 principles that would give you that it was from scientists and some of the studies on social behavior so that should be a big help to absolutely and don't allow yourself to to be discouraged as you're going through because you don't have discouragement but get back up fast and continue on the journey and let God bless. That's right, they join us next week will come back to the mic to be having the shows can be phenomenal. Talk about repentance and I think this could be something going here and why should you, absolutely. And that's good be the topic we hopefully join us next week. Have a great week as we wrap up today show. Be assured that TA W CMM talking walking Christian men's ministry is building a community of men Christ followers with a desire to be servant leaders in their homes, communities, churches and work environments. Check out our website for upcoming events of regularly scheduled meetings, drop us a note for topics that you would like to have us visit in the future. Thank you for joining us on man talk today.
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