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Addicted to Porn- 79

The Cure / Aimee Cabo
The Truth Network Radio
March 14, 2020 1:00 pm

Addicted to Porn- 79

The Cure / Aimee Cabo

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March 14, 2020 1:00 pm

"I was addicted to porn at the age of 11, and it went on for 20+ years until my world came crashing down.' Recovered addict Joshua Shea opens up and shares his story with Aimee Cabo.

The Cure Radioâ„¢ live talk radio show and live-streamed podcast is hosted by Aimee Cabo and offers a platform of hope  to anyone who has experienced or is currently experiencing domestic violence, abuse, trauma, mental health, or other challenges that affect your life. It's a place to find comfort, knowledge, strategies, answers, hope, and love, and so much more, all while you are healing your wounds and knowing that you are loved and not alone.

Join Aimee and her professional guests live on  The Cure with Aimee Cabo Video Podcast    every Saturday at 1 PM EST recorded during the live radio show.

Please listen and subscribe to the show and then share the show with others. Enjoy weekly contests, knowledgeable guests, and a few laughs.

It's then available after as an Audio Podcast available heard on most podcast platforms.

You can find information about the show and past guests bios by visiting the  RADIO SHOW PAGE.

Aimee hopes that anyone who has suffered abuse of any kind, or walked a moment in similar shoes, will find inspiration in these pages, and hope that love and truth will ultimately prevail. Please subscribe and share this podcast.
 
HOSTS:

Aimee Cabo Nikolov is a Cuban American who has lived most of her life in Miami. After many years of healing, finding love, raising a family and evolving her relationship with God, Aimee's true grit and courage led her to pen an honest, thought-provoking memoir. Years of abuse became overshadowed with years of happiness and unconditional love. Now Aimee is the president of IMIC Research, a medical research company, a speaker, radio host and focused on helping others. You can read more about Aimee by  visiting her website.
 
Dr. Boris Nikolov is the CEO of Neuroscience Clinic. You can read more about Dr. Nikolov and the work he is doing by  visiting his website.

GUESTS:

Joshua Shea is a recovering pornography addict and the author of The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About: How I Let My Pornography Addiction Hurt People and Destroy Relationships (2018), and He’s a Porn Addict…Now What? Released in January. Shea has appeared on over 100 podcasts, television and radio shows using his personal story to promote the ideas that porn addiction spans all demographics and those with a problem should seek help before it’s too late, as it became in his case.
Prior to admitting his addiction, Joshua was a prominent magazine publisher, award-winning journalist, film festival founder and politician in central Maine. As his 20-year addiction was reaching a critical level in late 2013, Joshua made the error of engaging a teenage girl in an online chatroom, for which he was arrested and served six months in jail.
In 2017, Joshua launched RecoveringPornAddict.com. He has also contributed articles about recovery to TheFix.com and Recovery Today magazine and has developed and presented a porn addiction lecture for churches, libraries and other groups. Sober since early 2014, Joshua still lives in Central Maine with his wife and two children. You can read more about Joshua by visiting his website

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You you and to Amy Kabul life can bring many difficult situations domestic violence addictions, poverty and even sexual abuse by your loved ones welcome Amy Kabul in the queue get acting in and welcome to the Kerry radiation and you have steamy cowbell joined by Boris hi everybody I show is available live on your radio also like that are haptic year on any smartphone on our website God is that you.com and we are broadcasting to the live from Miami through satellite available in North Carolina, Virginia, Utah, Iowa, New Mexico, and soon after any show on any pie cosplayer this other state. They show deals with suffering. What are the said that the government okay they said the is a suffering and the tenacity of the human spirit. The will to survive in the carriage to keep moving forward despite any obstacle with the help of God and each other. We did provide testimonials to let people know that they're not alone, and they shall testimony started with me having been a survivor of child abuse well into young adult.

We also have expert in several fields and inspirational speakers that are willing to help us with valuable information. Knowing that education is necessary.

Awareness is crucial in contract is needed.

I do believe we all suffer or have suffered from something and we hope to be a source of healing for each other that my healing came from God. Other forms of healing are presented as well. Service everyone life can be very challenging. But always know there's always someone who cares. And there's always hope the song that was played earlier was you should decide this on a peg because it's a great time. Every time he had the song all I can hear is you should decide what is it me I'm not the one that can be set anymore or even anyone else that Satan who is a common enemy to us all. We let go of anger and malice. Other is some regret as he start to realize that isn't half the man that he is as we outgrow being wooed by money drugs in cars and when healthy things.

I'm so glad I never had a baby with you.

I think I'm glad I didn't state dwelling in the darkness and lost. I'm glad God opened my eyes, I discovered pickpockets ulterior motives and every time I fell I felt so mad. Having no warning like a thief in the night she stood look slowly steals your soul. God saves me without breaking down and have come a long way. No more sadness that so yes pickpockets you should decide and also be set for this. Today we have a recovering addict Joshua Shaye, 57% of pastors say that addiction to pornography is the most sexually damaging issue to the congregation.

Joshua Shaye is a recovering pornography addict in the author of the addiction. Nobody will talk about how I let my pornography addiction.

Her people and destroy relationships, and he's a porn addict. Now what released this past January. Shaye has appeared in over 100 podcasts television and radio shows, using his personal story to promote the idea that porn addiction spans all demographics and those with problems should seek help before it's too late as it became, in this case prior to admitting his addiction. She was a prominent magazine publisher award-winning journalist film Festival founder and politician in central Maine and his 20 year addiction was reaching a critical level in late 2013 Joshua made the error of engaging a teenage girl in an online chat room for which he was arrested and served six months in jail and to set thousand and 17 Joshua launched recovering porno addict.com.

He has also contributed articles about recovery to the fix.com in recovery today magazine and have developed and presented a porn addiction lecture for churches, libraries and other groups sober since early 2014. Joshua still lives in central Maine with his wife and two children Joshua, thank you so much for being with us and welcome to the show so much for me are really pretty darn it's actually in honor because it's very courageous what you doing I don't know many people who would admit that they even have a an addiction to pornography and it's almost a normal thing in today's society. Nobody thinks a big deal of it and people don't know the dangers behind it, which is a wonderful thing that you are a guest with us today because it sometimes it's too late. I just though. I'm curious how did you get into the porno interest industry well water grinder. There were no sexual and emotional abuse twice when I was very young. Because the level of crop when I was 12 years old. I had an older cousin show me pornography for the first time. It was like a light on all develop from day one when I was 11 or 12 years old.

Always the first time I cried else. Day one. I was introduced with I don't know exactly why, but it was like a light shining from above to help you through life let you dress all of the bad you need to gain control you ultimately will start a 20+ your means.

I guess that was you. We, too, and see where he wanted to make some sense past what you think you try to kinda normalize it. I know my personal experience in my life. Very weird things to thinking that that's how I can normalize what happened to me to try to hide from the from the reality of it all and that I do know that it's possible I read an article once.com detective that works with with that kind stuff pornography can get it to become a kid get to a point that the person loses the value of himself and others and and I mean you forget what it's all about it just changes the whole scenario happened.

Rain or heroin out of porn happened to be scratches your brain and the way that you do all you know any different. It absolutely elated absolutely does get worse over time your year addiction for more than 20 years. What were the things that that occurred all crashed down well. You mention my introduction. I was very well known region rain. I was very magazine publisher very popular magazine. I was on the city Council. I was on 101 different or what I did all of the things that really who I was because what all of the meetings worked on what all the euro was over I was stuck sitting at home to where you by Mike I either turned to alcohol, or a trip to pornography. I could myself and I couldn't just be with myself. I had to escape.

Ultimately what happened was after about 56 years by magazine started show with 50 losing money. We are revenue flat, but our expenses kept going up and I got a great wife and I could not figure out a way to save so I made a very poor vision for my mental health both awful, but I protect bipolar disorder for about 15 years doing I thought that what would happen that I would Energy that you know what yeah and talk about recovery what was light that you can help us understand a little bit of diction is some of us don't know. I may need to have them and this is the key. We will continue talking about porn addiction and how it affects us life can bring many difficult situations domestic violence addiction is poverty and even sexual abuse by your loved ones. The issue is not stay there, but to overcome all obstacles and show that with the love of God, your husband and your family.

You can succeed.

Love is the answer. God is the key word reveals any combos, life, a warrior who didn't give up and achieve the dream of her life. You can get to know more about her at her story on God is the key word.com or buying her book on Amazon.com and go, no make you welcome back getting into the care with Amy And thanks for attending. That was the old me by five seconds a summer. It's great when we appreciate the cost and the experiences didn't bad for all the things he learned how he mustered through it all strongly learned that we could become finding our voices and fighting for the truth.

I had to make mistakes that had to be rough for me to get to know to really know me, but at least I was never God never left my side. I appreciate client today. I also appreciate the me got me this far, where talking to Joshua. She is helping us reveal the negative effects of pornography. Joshua this is Boris so what what do you think I will show so why do you think the pornography is by well where I try to write the argument with people of whether pornography is good or bad versus whether it be a problem. It's like saying you know you your good or bad bad it's not inherently good or bad judgment calls each person has to make what I'm trying to share with the world that pornography can lead to addiction can lead to problems.

You know it's like any other behavior, whether it gambling or no sex or food, if one of the things that people can rewire their brain does touch their pleasure.

Spencers dopamine the oxytocin does do the same thing of these other things that we know are and I'm trying to tell the world that do. I think that there are people who watch porn and it never becomes a problem. Yes I know there are people who could drink casually and it doesn't become a problem but I don't think people recognize that pornography use can go off the deep end with the advent of the Internet picture showing that our young people are absolutely blowing up when it comes to pornography addiction so that that's really why am here III don't care if you're good or bad for me. If bad baby good, but we both know what the possible outcomes just because any addiction, interferes with normal life as it becomes your God. Basically, that's addiction you put everything else second and I agree with you. My concern is the use most kids that I now have seen pornography of an independent or fee and the problem is if they find it so normal.

Then it can lead into dangerous behaviors. I know the story of I detective that she worked at the FBI about kids raping kids and one in the group of girls are watching a porno initially home and practice their little brother to tell her friends house. Now she knows how to do it. I mean it's it they don't realize that this is this is not something that should be taken lightly because they mean my personal opinion I don't have to see other people doing it to feel loved by my husband or to love my husband shouldn't make a difference whether there is also a lot of other programs I think to just it's very accessible online for free.

It's affordable.

It's anonymous. People don't need to circle that I run through so a lot of people to know and this can adversely affect the laws of the development of people.

The sexual function of sexual development about human trafficking. How is there a connection with the portal industry and human trafficking. Can you tell us Joshua yeah absolutely prevalent in both the US and Europe Internet has allowed anybody with a camera and an email address or Internet connection to you know film the children or adults you know give these horrible situations, against their will. Note that is part of the sex trafficking is all of the pornography that's out there look done against other people's will, with dark, the underground stuff you think that you'll find on their you know are absolutely heartbreaking and it's also made. The Internet is the baby by which sex traffickers communicate with each other, you know, we we talked about that has been a wonderful world. But when I was a kid you know you had to go with buying the Playboy magazine. You have to find a video store that would write you a dirty movie. But these days we are giving every nine-year-old. The greatest porn computer in the world with their telephone. It just pops up the phone on the computer you have to go to all kinds of firewalls and all kinds of features and and still there's no there's no guarantee it's like (that you know I appreciate that you put in a filter lock on your devices in your house, you managed to take care of three devices in a world that have proximally 9 billion what what's going to happen when your kid gets out there and start to see pornography are they going to be educated or not, because you can't hide, but you can't hide cigarettes from your children that smoking is bad, they should do it and hopefully while they're young, they don't start they will experiment at some point and hopefully what you've taught them doesn't lead to them smoking, but they can make deposition with their 18 or 19 and back problems with fighting today is we are not giving the fax to our young people so they could know that pornography does have potentially negative consequences in society today.

What are the statistics of porno addicts in today's world is a growing body mean absolutely growing up right now to talk about men all across the board. All men roughly 18% of all men are born out of our self percent that's good but that's all about 21 million men of the country. When you look at in the 18 to 30-year-old age group that all men under 30 years old, 32% say that they are either a ticket to pornography or pornography is causing problems in their life that one out of three men 30 who says pornography problem. So if we don't start dealing with their start being 40 and 50, 60, and some of the scary numbers are among black men white women and members of both Catholic and OPS churches there asked absolutely exploding with addiction right now our ride arising it to win three times the rate of your great white guy because pornography with you that we can all get it now you know women didn't want to go to a dirty movie theater before women didn't want to be seen renting video before, but now they make pornography your towards women because it's very giving to deliver it to them and any woman can watch it in the comfort of her own home without anybody knowing.

So in the past where I'm talking about it and that's now wise enough people talking about this what's going on society.

Why is it growing a growing problem will be eternally thinking is Amy Couto's listening to six year date at one hi welcome to the care with Amy Employees when I'm on your radio think you are on our website because you can't.com also available also as of both cost or video focus, just look for the cure with Amy, to get this thing that last know you weren't by Cadiz.

God is our SLA picking a sapling when feeling down is telling us we are right you may be lost.

That's when we will be found, because God loves is equally even now first guidance on the things that we consider and he really wants to do it as fast tempo lead to any size that something doesn't have to be real. It doesn't have to hurt God will always put you first want to return to God as no one looking down, it's time to keep my headset also want to remind you about the compass to start it, let us know. Suggestions for a song that we can play on the show through our contact us page on God is the cure.com and if we play it, you will receive a $25 gift certificate. Thank you to everybody that had sent themselves when talking to I sat sat. I think anything you write correct me if I'm wrong please about point say thanks St. that's much easier your second book is for parents have recently learned of the leader husband or boyfriend is a point about the say that being the partner for point or sex addict is probably worse than being the partner of any other kind looking thoughts about mean well, yeah, absolutely. That is been found again and again and again with the partners of porn and sex addicts often blame themselves, and they often go through what's called betrayal trauma. Let's say they've been married for 78 years and then all of a sudden it comes out that there husband is a porn or a sex addict and he did very well for the entire time. Like she's meeting somebody should never know for the first time she got. She starts to wonder.

You know who this man really is, what else is he hiding you know when you're married to a gambling addict you're not asking yourself if your husband became an addict because you're not enough in the bedroom or if you're, you know, if you're a food addict. You yourself did I do something wrong here when women are with men who are sex addicts is usually a ton of trauma that get on top of them and female partners about asked to suffer almost as much after I wrote that first book which was a memoir.

I expected that I get addict can contact me with questions people contacted me were wives or girlfriends who wanted help with their husband or boyfriend that absolutely shocked me, and a lot more research and talking to a lot more partners and recognize that my wife it hit her in a real rough wet when it all came out that that I had my problem, but these women go through getting trauma intense heartbreak.

Most of them just as much therapy and and have just like the addict and learned so are we not talking so much in society about that is like at the blue that doesn't exist everywhere and I said exist behind it. I believe number one is that it involved naked people and were still very squeamish in society about naked people. Even though we use them to sell everything Dr. meeting about naked podcasts.

I like I was on the other high quality to show that pornography are not the same thing that if you help anyway I think that it also have to do with the fact that pornography is taboo and I get really taboo because it usually comes masturbation and nobody wants to admit that you watch porn. It's like saying you masturbate and nobody wants to fight the fact that 67% of men under 50 watch porn monthly. Nobody wants to admit it, because there's all these personal things is only satisfying yourself.

Yes, to admit what they're looking at because a lot of people. Escapism and they look at things that they would never pay Dan in real life and nobody wants to admit their little kink is or what scratches that it's because a lot of times it felt like the norm, so it brings them shame when people are shame they don't want to talk that's why we can start talking about pornography addiction until we drop the stigma of talking about pornography statistics suggest far more people abuse, pornography, event not so should we should be able to bring some normalcy to it is a point where what they're watching is not enough to dispatch and finance pornography has become more detailed or more serious or more into the pornography and like it just comes like you need more and more more to satisfy you know that emptiness that your not satisfying correctly. Absolutely with every addict I met probably numbered into hundred now all of us have escalated it at one point it was fine for me to look at a magazine that I needed your moving people so it went on to the Internet.

I needed videos and eventually right before my crash.

I started going to the chat room talking to people and getting your convincing them to take off their clothes because I needed to get more extreme. Every time I start interacting with them and that's like you know that's like the alcoholic who moved from beer to wine to shot or the gambling addict to start low dose to you sooner it gets it gets worse as time goes by.

It's never exactly addiction doesn't stop it just escalates. It only stops when it is in force X cleats to the point you willing to do things that you would not normally have done like rape someone or orgies are like some things you like that would hurt her where you know what if it becomes dangerous and that that's right and any addiction any extreme is this a show for the once well is help for that actually getting better in 2010. There were only 900 certified sex addiction therapists in the US in 2017, that number had risen to 2500. There are more professionals out there and that's the problem worse.

There were also more twelve-step that are starting like fix all its anonymous respect addicts anonymous but those are still falling behind. There aren't nearly as many meetings that there should be. There are websites like mine recovering for an addict to list a lot of resources.

There are online forms you go talk to people and you one of the reasons why I wrote my two books was because I couldn't find resources in the book that talked about pornography addiction, like a fight I just go create them so other people as well. So there. There are now starting to be reinforced for people they want to work more about you Josh, you know like you needed just to show that we are all human. We all make mistakes. We all do crazy things happy to talk about tightly still willing to help and I feel bad for the winning letter with email point headaches. I was just imagining like you are saying how difficult that must be what the best advice for women who have a boyfriend or men. In my case where their spouse or boyfriend or girlfriend suspect that portal addict for the first five number one. Try not to judge because people who feel judged feel shamed and they're not going to open up and talk about things if you come down on me hard. Why would I start talking about even though your disgusted even though some of the stuff he looks at me turn your stomach.

Try not to judge. Secondly, try to create a safe space. Let him know that he can talk about this let him know that you're not going to kick him out. Let him know that you're going to be okay and then what you really have to do is talk about how you going to move forward. I stressed to people that you need professional help.

Even if it's just to create a strategy need professional help that can let you know where you are and let you know what direction you need to edit in almost every case, your Lord addict. There is trauma in your background and you need to get through that trauma discuss that trauma work through it. If you're going to have a shot at taking care of the addiction, and most importantly, besides being understanding is that you look with Jesus. I unconditionally went back will continue talking Natasha saying porn addiction coming and thinking we would love to hear from you if you'd like to share a story about porn addiction call us 1866 34 through 1866 34 through okay you can do life can bring many difficult situations domestic violence addiction is poverty and even sexual abuse by your loved ones.

The issue is not stay there, but to overcome all obstacles and show that with the love of God, your husband and your family.

You can succeed.

Love is the answer. God is the key word reveals any combos, life, a warrior who didn't give up and achieve the dream of her life.

You can get to know more about her at her story on God is the key word.com or buying her book on Amazon.com and is only as memories and this is the care he can slide every Saturday at 1 PM Eastern here you radio some yeah just the codification of the show will be available as a book cost search for the cure with Amy, on any book cost China which is joining in talking to the recovering plank patient specialist Tasha. She also porn addiction specialist is displayed as memories. I'm everything fine will and think off in the ways of the world. Some of us lost and gain sadness and hatred to powerful to stop thinking and makes it possible for us to become a torch of kindness tonight at the Tariq sometimes as long as we are life, we can make it all worthwhile. So here's a test to the line to have come and gone and the lessons that we have learned along the way.

This memories pay me back to you God that I have never been going. Please send us your request for a song on God is the cure.com and the call conduct section and you might win a $25 gift certificate. Now I hear that we have caller Judy from Raleigh. Do you on the air. Would you like to say I feel only God word. Thank you. I will file and I was only 5501 therefore I is another one I remember you when you going on in their life on another down by the light that will Bible does anything the Bible to deny yourself. I understand we have to love ourselves and take care of ourselves because God loves us, but it also says to deny yourself and anything that self-serving.

You should always think of serving others.

Well you know what that's why there's hope, because there's people like you and there's people like Joshua and there may be a lot of people and a lot of hurt, but there's so much God and that's what I like to focus on because that's what we're here for. Thank you so much Judy.

I can understand what she was talking about being a tasty fantasy, simply, if we don't want to believe something wrong so would just make right and will learn to love instead of heyday on instead of not making instead to stay away from it instead of learn from it in the meantime, can you tell last will. What is the title wave of porn addiction in that horizon this some kind of something trying to ban pornography. None of the holy should should rebound pornography auditing Joshua, I think that the wait time there have been people in different groups trying that 70 and you look at the growth of pornography.

They have had absolutely zero offering advertisement service for an advice advisement service for addicts and partners. How is that different from traditional therapy my job to get therapy people are afraid of the idea down with a therapist sharing their deepest secret effective a lot of times when Lord addict will talk to me on the firstborn addict or other porn addict.

They never talk to while they learn that I won't judge them. They can tell me what they look at tell them that they've done anything wrong. Open up for the first time so powerful and what I try to do if I usually work with people between three and session. But what I do as I get them ready to that next level of treatment that without me. I don't know the get go get that treatment.

I just try to make them comfortable with the fact that what they have is a condition medical condition. If the disease and they need help in looking at you can't see restaurants that's terminated. Naturally, I I I have to I you just so you know what's no porn movies no no not all alcohol I'm just asking. We don't need it sent you know I can. I can take it woman in a movie and it doesn't set me off and send me down a bad road. That's proof that there's hope for me. It's not a license exactly, much like I can sit across from my wife. If we go out to dinner and she has a glass of wine. I don't need to have it, you know, you develop skills. Life is no longer a piece of meat you want your life is now a beautiful woman that you love always was a bit too long to realize they thank you for saying that at least 70 people like you it's it's wonderful just consistent what you've done. He you been are you are you can still be a beautiful wonderful person that selects needed in this world. Well, that perspective. Perspective is huge. I realized that God put me here not to be a politician not to be a magazine writer to talk about and I had to go through those nine point like this is not speaking about the way, let's figure. So many people affected in moving mountains in the study because you know it can lead to dangerous behavior, and I worry about Wells finishing with only a few minutes. Yeah.

Done again today until next Saturday back thank you Josh, thank you for being in the name either. Upon infection.

Thank you so what was your website information adjuster can be found on the very recovering porn object, and that's where counseling satisfies IRA anything you everything you need to know about me recovering porn out of getting contact with you to receive counseling wonderful great thank you, thank you so much for having me on the show. It's our pleasure and you are happy to see Jasper Jasper thank you for being with us today making this just how beautiful just sometimes she tells me all sums of ammonia the ethernet to get guy going to announce that we will start a series of shelves beginning of April. Based on my talk.

They believe will be very interesting in detail yes very interesting idea. That's Robbie. He's out of getting idea, but for now let's paint heavenly father, I want to pray to have got into.

Nazi indicates me as tonight and the damage that it is doing not only to themselves but also to their families.

Lord I just want to let each one up to you and asked that he knew agrees he would meet each 1.50 give on the stenting of the best way to help each of our friends like I pray that you would convict convict each of them there need to repent of his behavior and break free after destructive consent for protection. I'm sure that this horrible addiction to pornography is a destructive tool of Satan seeks to destroy and to start on that is lovely and pure, honorable and godly and encourage lustful. Thank you Lord, I know that you are God.

Truth hears and answers prayers. Give us your wisdom said that we should know what to say if the need arises. Now someone to be quiet in the matter in your hand patting agrees he would undertaking each of their life to lift an accountant and return angry. In Jesus name I pray they make here. Please check our about customer care with Amy, our the cure on our website. God is the cure.com thinking and paying special hug for that everyone has been watching and listening to next week might


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