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65- What’s Love got to do with it?

The Cure / Aimee Cabo
The Truth Network Radio
December 7, 2019 1:00 pm

65- What’s Love got to do with it?

The Cure / Aimee Cabo

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December 7, 2019 1:00 pm

Is love just a second hand emotion? Aimee talks with guest  Marisa Donnelly about love and relationships and how how they affect life, work, confidence and your relationship with God.

THE CURE Live streamed podcast is hosted by Aimee Cabo and offers a platform of hope to anyone who has experienced domestic violence, abuse, mental illness, any trauma or is experiencing problems now in their lives. It's a place to find comfort, knowledge, strategies, answers, hope and love while healing the wounds and 'affirming' that you are not alone.  

Join Aimee and her professional guests on  The Cure with Aimee Cabo podcast    every Saturday at 1 PM EST  as it is recorded during the live radio show.

You can find information about the show and past guests by visiting the  RADIO SHOW PAGE.

You can also view the weekly  Video podcasts  on Apple Podcasts.  

Aimee hopes that anyone who has suffered abuse of any kind, or walked a moment in similar shoes, will find inspiration in these pages, and hope that love and truth will ultimately prevail. Please subscribe and share this podcast.
 
HOSTS:

Aimee Cabo Nikolov is a Cuban American who has lived most of her life in Miami. After many years of healing, finding love, raising a family and evolving her relationship with God, Aimee's true grit and courage led her to pen an honest, thought-provoking memoir. Years of abuse became overshadowed with years of happiness and unconditional love. Now Aimee is the president of IMIC Research, a medical research company, a speaker, radio host and focused on helping others. You can read more about Aimee by  visiting her website.
 
Dr. Boris Nikolov is the CEO of Neuroscience Clinic. You can read more about Dr. Nikolov and the work he is doing by  visiting his website.

GUESTS:

Marisa Donnelly is a writer, writing coach, editor and teacher based in San Diego, California. She's the founder of Be A Light Collective, (a writing coaching, editing, and tutoring services company), the host of the VulneraABILITY Podcast, and the author of the poetry collection, Somewhere On A Highway. When she's not writing or working with clients, you can find her in the corner of a coffee shop or walking by the beach with her family and dog.  You can learn more about Marisa, her podcast and other work, plus connect with her on social media by visiting her website at  https://marisadonnelly.com

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With Amy, life can bring many difficult situations domestic violence addictions, poverty and even sexual abuse by your loved ones welcome Amy, and the Q hacking and welcome care radiation on you have steamy capital joined by polymerase man.

Our show is available light on the radio app called the cure or live on our website and use purpose.com and we are broadcasting from sunny Miami via satellite and later dishes will be podcasts to show deals with suffering and the tenacity of the human spirit. The will to survive in the carriage to keep moving forward despite any obstacle with the help of God and his chat we do provide testimonials to let people know that they're not alone and indicia the testimony started with me having been a survivor from child abuse well into young adulthood.

We also have experts in the medical field and inspirational speakers that are willing to help and get valuable information because awareness is vital. Transparency is needed and I believe we all suffer from something or have suffered.

As for me, my healing came from God that other forms of healing are presented as well. Service everyone life can be very challenging, but always now that there's always someone who cares. That was lover by Taylor Swift. I have got can we go seek out and now that we have and then our lives. We hope were always close because God is our true love. Imagine being the Apple daddies I and most the tort that God gives each and every one of us is perfect and he doesn't need to have favorites we all are.

He loves us more than we can understand he is the one and only true God and he is all about love came from this. It's love that drives the spirit to grow and nourishes the soul, but if mishandled, it can easily become a double edge sword.

Today we are discussing matters of love, how to love ourselves and others and how to avoid heartache at the good book says love your neighbor as yourself. Matthew 2237 to 40 and today our special guest. His mother said Donnelly, who is a writer writing coach and editor a teacher and a founder of Pedialyte collected the writing and editing services company, an online empowerment community. She also is the host of the vulnerability podcasts. Marissa is passionate about sharing her heart talking about things that matter and learning to move through life's obstacles with positivity. Marissa, thank you for being with us and welcome to the show felt really Marissa what love means to you and everyone at the different definition of love. So what's yours for many different form thinking about relationship love romantic love love tonic love if I would buy it.

I think that love is understanding that we are all connected way to one another and in my life in love take on so many different form in becoming a bonus mom and learning how to forgive myself and learning how to forgive other guests ride all of that love is something that inherently so when were always chasing love sometimes because at the ready with an and when we discover not been love. I think I'm rather than having to search for and you seen love as fast in many different ways of your life and what I'm understanding is that love has many forms. It can be compassionate love and it can be sacrificial love. How is it manifested in your life in a long time. I would focus on anything romantic love. I thought it was the most important thing because I think media often showed that way the videos and movies and we read a book that are all about finding a romantic partner or finding your quote other half on. It took me a really long time to realize that even though the act was shown not what our identity right in so acting love in my own life shift away from the chase of romantic partners to focus on myself rather than who do I love it. What do I love what makes me passionate is that in my professional life, my business, I shifted away from trying to find a partner to trying to figure out what I could put out into the world through the things that I love your work and in the last two years. I've also seen love manifests itself in my life and entirely way when I met my current boyfriend who has a 10-year-old son and so I will I have gone through the process of always understanding love as you romantic and that shifting into self-love and then realizing that laws like motherly love bloomed naturally in me just how complex and challenging in beautiful factory has been over the last two years of becoming a mother in my wife and sons life because I know how you got there because instances where we believe that we will find happiness. Once we find love once someone loves and teach you roll and realize that what it needed to start with loving yourself and what you have to offer to the world and then everything will fondly really began to realize that when my heart very broken which I think the truth in your story, and so many others we don't necessarily realize or understand our words and ourselves love and truly hit rock bottom or we feel a brokenness of treatment or we get our hearts broken by people who we thought would love and for me it was really heartbreaking but I'm just feeling like I had no sense of doubt, after a really difficult relationship and just kind of allowing myself to really feel the emotion and realize that I was allowing someone to have complete power over me, and that their absence in my life was affecting who I was part of that allowing myself to feel that in everything that realization, and realizing I didn't want my life to be defined by relationship or by a person because we know in life that people come and go and you know that this life is in perfect and we know that is not promised forever to rest our identity or arc length of self or any of those things on a person. We can't write in felt that hitting rock bottom in and embracing those emotions and then choosing to kind of start over and it really helped me to regain the identity and come back to myself and say okay this person doesn't define who I am or my worth low building over several years really of building back my confidence and my purpose and shifting the focus away from poor median person to know what can I do that I'm proud of and that makes me excited and then back without love for you and love for what I love to do really started to grow, so you found yourself and you made a choice to change your way of thinking and to you wanted better for yourself and you no longer wanted to suffer, and that we and I think it's wonderful when we can all come to that realization. Whether it be a friend that tells us or we find it in prayer or just get tired of suffering of letting people bring us down and we realize that we deserve better making that one choice you but the combination of feeling exhausted and not knowing where to go and praying and praying and praying and hoping for answers and listening to people in the long process. I wish the easier long process. Well, you know, Rome wasn't built in a day all things are difficult and take time, so it's okay. You are definitely worth Marissa because you know pickpocket boy called me doesn't waste since this time and sounds like he likes to go for the important people to God saying I am a Mikado in this picture we will continue talking about matters of love we come back please state life can bring many difficult situations, domestic violence, addictions, poverty, sexual abuse by your loved ones. The issue is not spinning their book to overcome all obstacles been shouldered with the love of God, your husband and your family. You can succeed. Love is the answer.

God is the key word reveals baby cobbles life, a warrior who didn't give up and achieve the dream of her life. You can get to know more about her story on God is the key word.com or Ballinger book on Amazon.com's where back.

This is the key here thanks pertaining to those who have just joined.

I'm a Mikado and this is the care discussing matters will also look for this purpose will will so where were less good things fall apart by John William.

It's great we accept that good things fall apart because greater things are coming. As you grow from a broken heart and never allow situations to be in vain and finds reasons and everything in his will and his unconditional love talking to Marissa Donnelly.

I love ourselves as we not Marissa, as we know, not all experiences around her with love are always positive or negative experiences a round love. Have you faced have changed you at what point did you realize how long did it take you better question how long that it take you to realize that you are an unhealthy relationship. Though. We don't clearly recognize how toxic things are well no not even years down the road on what I think toxic and there's so many different levels that whether you are just turkey comments or you know behaviors they don't realize that when were in the moment. I would make. A couple relationship over the years is not recognizing that certain behaviors were controlling and when certain situations happen. For example, after a breakup. I had an ex-boyfriend who went meeting all other women in just a point in our relationship with the questions of what we get back together or not that behavior and even in the moment. Not recognizing. I didn't deserve that behavior. I think it is fascinating to me. I will get caught up in our motion and our love for people that we don't always recognize that work was going through is not okay. I think the change that we have to listen to other people when they give us word of advice we have to look outside of ourselves to separate our motion from our rational thinking, and we really have to rely on God and on prayer asking for clarity to see things that we might be blinded you your question, but it did make me think of a bunch of things and look at what a beautiful person you become mean just to think of that song thinking next look at on the things you want to be like not teach you how you are able to understand others. You took a step back and it was a humbling experience, you realize we need one that we should hurt one. This experience is in essence sometimes take people a lifetime and so ungrateful for the experiences I've had at least at least I know that a more today than I did yesterday Ray so but I get the idea that it also brought you closer to God and so do you. Do you include God in your relationships, and how important is really important hard don't really think about it because I didn't hurt me now tried to what God and tried to purpose rather than my own first that truly brings me to a healthier place.

When I let myself be guided by him as opposed to trying to direct my path and make someone fit what I want them to be, as opposed to letting God put the right person in my life that God works through you, but I mean I believe that involving God and your relationship is important. There's a scene. The family that prays together stays together and that is so true, so at least during dinner time. It's important and I found a lot of people that have found strength in the Bible reading the words I see Bible sayings and statements on Facebook. I find strength listening to music I you know I like to pray in the morning every morning and they listen to music and I praise God I'm probably the only one is so silly like that. But I did get may people to go to church so at least you have a boyfriend.

God, do you save them or does he will and you turn off the way I thought about it and I truly feel that God brought into my life so I just try to think back and let him work through me to bring whatever he wants out of this relationship.

I trust that you know it's not on my shoulders to change everyone in the world, not as a Christian extent change people and you can't carry that burden on you, but you can allow yourself to be God's instrument and God will indirectly and directly through you influence the people around you to hopefully bring them closer to him so I just try to let God work through me and influence me above all else, just a light of God because I know that he is no powerful will work for me. Whatever his plan saying if you haven't read the Bible, and Holy Spirit is awesome and it's it's just it's it's a wonderful thing. What you're saying and it's something that we can all learn from because it took me super long time. I'm actually older than you.

It's been longer so so glad to have you and for those who are listening. It's it's a wonderful thing to know God is there with you every step on the way promise you this much better.

It doesn't matter what's going on as long as you got it doesn't matter all your fears on your anxiety and anger at the stations I'm still working on the good news is there's a God and that's all that matters. Amy McNabb and this is Dick here will be right back after a short break and will continue with the matters here with Amy capital and Boris listen to his life on your radio every Saturday at 1 PM. Through our secure site aim is purpose.com shall be available to podcast.

Just search for the cure on any Pakistan that was together by joking knowledge. What if that was God saying give me a note. You don't have to carry it alone in my words.

I still mean the things I said don't get cold on let's keep looking onto each other. Remember that because you were made in my image. We are perfect together, which asserted together were stronger if God is for you and what can be against Marissa. What advice would you give to someone with a broken heart broken heart fell right back closer. I allow whatever is around you going on down will you let your broken would be a big fight struggling the matter what you're going through. I always get drunk first. It defeats the purpose. I think that a lot of times we sometimes we just have to get away from the pain and so you see on TV you see in the environment.

Everybody turns to alcohol for every reason to celebrate. To get over something to deal with something so hard it's hard but yes that's the thing that I found most important was prayer and because sometimes things go so wrong.

You tend to lack the faith setting you pray and pray for get to make eventually got to listen to pray every day. Don't give up. You talk about. Also, you talk about being coming home this mom quite often. Yeah, I like to know what I when you're not her biological mom that you are mom mom life, though for me because I'm not married to my boyfriend. I am not that mom about his mom, and I think because bonus mom really resonates with me and just in that it is a more positive term, making you know if, in addition to your life. I'm not taking anything away am not replacing your biological mom and about and from have a positive connotation and hopefully for wild monkeys another month is not my real mom mom close to my heart because it you know I don't feel like I'm replacing anything, but I still have what I feel in my heart. The title and give me your identity in my relationship with him. I think they should be pleased on this step is always on his mom now you know once that money mom bonus mom Ray and I guess that shaped your love because that's a different kind of love.

It's a very mature love love where you sacrifice your child before you. It's the kind of love that is the best love love that Jesus showed us when he died on the cross and became my life anything about love that scares you where you ever own point afraid to love because you hurt so badly so I think part Garrett heartbreak you only love again that I would get all that I would find the right person and then when I did find the right person and I met him and that I was scared of loving them so much because of the importance of what my role would be like. So it was it was a very scary and big change for me to let myself because I wouldn't just be in a romantic relationship.

I would also be a mom because now you shape into people's lives, not just one also should we ship each other.

It then it finally got to please you understand, I think that it's important for people to realize and I'm talking from personal experience because that's what I know best and that when you're about please and when you have a broken heart. You tend to be to believe that you'll be sad forever and that's just pickpocket line T manipulating you because it doesn't last forever on everything passes and as long as you live is always a chance to make it right so many chances to find mystery so it's just a matter of believing believing You and him carried and do the best that you can on your part. Try to find healthy ways to cope rather than turning to self-medicating alcohol or drugs turn to friends and to exercise to music turned to meditation turn to prayer if you turn to prayer. Everything else happens because you may be so bad you want to do any of it but usually prayer.

It's okay unless you the saint that was tempted by the devil, and he was too depressed to pray and I didn't think that was possible for Saints, but that just comes to show how human we are and how we all need each other no matter what.

That's the beauty about life is that love is not just between two people love is between all the relations chips that you have something that you have to constantly marriage because it is love.

I know it sounds silly but it is love that makes the world go around. And it is love that that's the answer to every problem and if you get any problem at all. You treated with love, considering it's worth it just to solve the problem. Marissa you say that love has influenced your business into minutes.

Can you tell me how love has influenced your business earlier when we talk focused more on what I love who I love broken by romantic relationship that finding that I love you know like what about helped me to find myself in my own felt love and I realize that what really was so important at helping other people have signed themselves and things that they're about because like you said love makes the world go round and even though that sounds clich, but focused on meeting your busy passion became your hobby became your work to do that one of the things that I love and how can I think the thing that I love and not only for myself but also help other and so building a business that focused on relationship and helping other people find what their passion about and what they love it become not only of it become thing that I'm passionate about doing that I get you every day, so maybe it's the same there's a purpose for everyone and we have abilities beyond her control. We don't even realize what abilities we have and everyone has a purpose and meaning.

If you think about the beauty of being here on earth and the things that we experience it isn't so easy. I had nine pregnant and only file children.

It's a miracle here for one whereby we will continue talking to Marissa Donnelly about coming in. This is life can bring many difficult situations, domestic violence, addictions, poverty, sexual abuse by your loved ones. The issue is not spinning their book to overcome all obstacles been shouldered with the love of God, your husband and your family. You can succeed. Love is the answer.

God is the key work reveals baby Cabo's wife, a warrior who didn't give up and achieve the dream of her life.

You can get to know more about her story on God is the key word.com or buying her book on Amazon.com back.

Thank you for being with any capital, and this is the care you can listen to life every Saturday at 1 PM radio.

The cure that the cure on social media also will cure. Your serving that less we made it by Lily Tomlinson so many times we make it even though at times we underestimate ourselves and underrate the PDF life, but now I think by and waiting for the hard times we always knew it be all right, especially looking back. And how many times do we make when we turn to God, when will it be at peace realizing that in God's hands.

We will always be all right and forever be grateful for the times we made we are talking about love with Marissa Donnelly, Marissa, what which you want others to know about love.

Well about the value or role of vulnerability and left about. That's a more specific about love. Good question. I think part of my podcast actually called the vulnerability pot because I think vulnerability so important in the relationship that we have everything, but actually in relationship and felt the wall of vulnerability when we think about love that when we allow ourselves to be transparent and fully vulnerable with our partners romantic or remembers or anything. When we allow ourselves to be vulnerable. Back when we get to embrace the rock parts of ourselves and embrace the rock parts and other how we communicate very allow ourselves to really grow because love is all about growth because that we grow individually.

We also grow together a few minutes ago.

You both are talking about how you changed one another in your relationship. I think that's true about love in general the growth together as people is is and it's it's it's when you when you are honest when your actions. I think you're getting your best to someone else when you're being you want someone else. People don't want to know somebody that you are tending to be people want to really and if you can't fall in love with the real you are not the right person for you and that's something I learned in my trial and error days, but you also say that that you think love is put on a pedestal to help us understand that people glorify love to all of their problem mentioned earlier on the show.

We chase romantic relationships because we think that what love is all about and I think we need to learn that love is within her something we have to find another people and money. When McGrath we become people that are here to love because we have offensive love already makes it easier for the right people to come into our lives as opposed to the language it chasing love all the time but not really knowing who we are what we really want to. You believe that people will love around easily get it to serifs sometime a lot right. You know I love you flippantly in one hand, I think it's going on the other hand, I think it's beautiful because I know when I say I love you to someone I need it or want people to feel about emotion Jen Kerry happened. I'm just in general the care but I think it is also sometimes at the flippantly that we don't realize the magnitude of the word emotion I think of someone you have to follow through with actions just words and I think the best way to show your love for someone is to example actions little things you know it's the little things that count all the little things add up. So it's just I think the best way to love someone is the best Just by having the next person in mind how to help the next person just always having the person you love or the other person's mind, everything works out better that way.

Somehow I learned so. But I can see why people put love on a pedestal.

It is the greatest thing to achieve.

If you achieved true love and it took me a whole 27 years to achieve true love.

So it isn't something that's very easy and no people. That's why people getting married older and there's divorces at a higher rate than they used to be so I don't know what do you think is going on. Marissa people people glorify love and then when it not perfect breakout. Love is about forgiveness and learn that letter perfect. We have to understand what it what you will about it just as much complicated and it takes a long time to fully find it. We have to be compassionate. We have to have forgiveness we have to know that the people we are in relationships that are not perfect but neither are we find that Alan and that growth with someone else and understand that even when it gets hard.

If we really love someone working to continue to choose them because love. It also also a choice just as much is unconscious.

Also a choice of choosing that person over and over and over again nothing is when love is not perfect. We do a lot of relationships expect things to go a certain way or piece way.

I think maybe people give up too easily these to be a time that marriage is forever and loveless very serious thing and now it's almost as if we love everybody. So it doesn't matter.

It is a very easy thing to say but harder thing to show and to feel and I think the best way to achieve that is to discover love with God and within yourself and then you're able to share that with others very difficult if your side and upside in this ripple to show love and maybe with those people. It's difficult to to show love that counts the most.

When it's least expected when it's most needed.

So the kid P something that really goes a long way and takes care of people and it's also because people hope and what gives people reason and it's also but nourishing and company so all the emotions of others out there. I can understand why people put love in a pedestal because it's the greatest thing there is. It really yes love you that Bobby concept.

I think that you can see someone and you have a connection not like oh I see you and am attracted ethical but I mean when I first saw my boyfriend and then connected with him and we had a conversation I felt a connection by No soul connection found Riordan clich, but something there that I felt like I resonated with not like I like you and I love you but what you know I recognize something in you that I want to explore. Yes.

Well I saw Bob yet so I was happy to know he also connects in a very beautiful way and got married in three months because God gave me my sign so I took a leap years it's been good show yes meeting with Cheryl and we can be found thank you Marissa for being with Michelle and thank you for the audio parties at Jasper for being with us today and was get more information for you. Okay, let's pray father, thank you for your great love for us. You sink your only son to live with us and show us how to love. He gave his love for us and misdirected on that 13th so that we can be with you in eternity, Lord, to feel just an inch of the radiance of your loved and glue from your excellence will be more than we can mention knowing your love for us is something to father the people find it easier to love themselves and others given price to see how special are your children are given opportunities to sit down with those that don't look or think like them so that all can learn what it really means to attorney help all to be kind, encouraging, forgiving and loving to those that may never realize their impact and forward with the ability to treat others. Love no matter what.

Give all the grace and strength to move from THD with an outpouring of love for their neighbor. Amen this is Amy Calvo you have been listening to the cure.

Check our pot. Thank you for being with that much as we will show as you know


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