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September 28, 2019 2:00 pm
On today's Saturday Edition show, Aimee talks with Dr. Nikolov and guest Dr. Patricia Farrell about getting help for depression.
THE CURE Live streamed podcast is hosted by Aimee Cabo and offers a platform of hope to anyone who has experienced domestic violence, abuse, mental illness, any trauma or is experiencing problems now in their lives. It's a place to find comfort, knowledge, strategies, answers, hope and love while healing the wounds and 'affirming' that you are not alone.
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Aimee Cabo Nikolov is a Cuban American who has lived most of her life in Miami. After many years of healing, finding love, raising a family and evolving her relationship with God, Aimee's true grit and courage led her to pen an honest, thought-provoking memoir. Years of abuse became overshadowed with years of happiness and unconditional love. Now Aimee is the president of IMIC Research, a medical research company, a speaker, radio host and focused on helping others. You can read more about Aimee by visiting her website.
Dr. Boris Nikolov is the CEO of Neuroscience Clinic. You can read more about Dr. Nikolov and the work he is doing by visiting his website.
Dr. Farrell is a published author and a nationally known licensed psychologist expert for WebMD, with experience in most areas of mental health for over 30 years. She has consulted to pharmaceutical and communications firms, is a member of the American Psychological Association, SAG/AFTRA union, and a biographee in Who's Who in the World. She has also been a disability consultant, was a board member of the NJ Bd. of Psychological Examiners, board member of Bergen Pines Hospital and a psychiatry preceptor for UMDNJ, the medical school of NJ.You can learn more about Dr. Farrell by visiting her website at http://www.drfarrell.net
Dr. Farrell was also a guest for Episode 37- How Sleep Affects our Lives
No John only Amy, life can bring many difficult situations.
Mystic violence addictions, poverty and even sexual abuse by your loved ones welcome Amy, Q. Joined by Boris to call me I show is available live on the radio.
There are Coptic here on our website.com and we are podcasting light from man off the search for God is that year and please click on send threatening you can send us a question or comment. We would love to hear from you. This show deals with suffering and tenacity of the human spirit. The will to survive in the carriage to keep moving forward despite any obstacle with the help of God and each other. We do provide testimonials to let people know that they are not alone and they shall testimony started with me having been a survivor from child abuse well into young adulthood. We also have professionals in the medical field and inspirational speakers are willing to help and give valuable information because they typically education is key.
Transparency is needed and I believe we can help each other for me. My healing came from God that other forms of healing are presented as well to service everyone and I know life can be very challenging.
But always know that we are not alone. I do remember a time. I never felt so lost the anger and the hatred felt too heavy and even though we all hurt sometimes our hearts can feel like an Amber lining up the dark. It has to start with us and God will always be around to make everything all right today will be discussing the debilitating effects of depression and her special guest Patricia Farrell Dr. Ferrell is a published author and nationally known license ecologist expert for web MD with experience in most areas of mental health for over 30 years. She has consulted with communication firms is a member of the American psychological Association and a biography in Who's Who in the world. She has also been a disability consultant is important member of the New Jersey Board of psychological examiners, board member of Bergen Pines Hospital and a psychiatry preceptor for the medical school of New Jersey, Dr. Ferrell, thank you for being on the show we are now live on the care what a very thing they know you. I hope you all Dr. Ferrell.
No matter what mental conditions we may have the most prominent and problematic symptoms seems to be depression presently 18% of the population suffers from depression and that 14 million people so what do you suppose is costing such a high tendency among is that our environment, our police, our genetic makeup and how much of a role do our genes play a people really get the wrong approach all every emotion that you feel is the spectrum of normal devotion so everyone while all of myself included going to get a deprived because the big are happening to work in our lives. The other thing that we have to consider is when does depression go get to the point that it stops the in our tracks, as it were, and causes of God to be able to participate in life or to enjoy our life and look forward to the future and certainly contributing to that is a number of things among them very interesting information just came out recently about the environment and you know I always say that depression is actually one of what I call the ugly twin, the ugly twins come together and they are depression and anxiety. Now we know from the do research that I die the is actually being clause I think in our environment. So, I don't mean just in the political environment or the relationship environment. The environment out there among the trees where we walk on the sidewalk. All of the pollutants that we are just think are causing our body to react in ways that are normal. One of the big that it causes abnormalities is you have problems breathing that we know that for anxiety.
One of the symptoms that we see people who have anxiety or high level of stress that could because by a number of big to is that they feel like they can't read and or they breathing very hard there trying to catch their breath.
There feeling overstimulated in some way they can feel their heart pumping harder and sometimes that's caused by the environment, physical environment that you're in, you have to think about that to blood depression. In its extreme form, and we do see that from cords from a number of different things just when you are talking about the physical environment caused Pete the opposite as well because when I don't feel well. I prefer ride my top-down look at the beautiful nature and it really makes me feel better. I just absolutely checking yes you're right. Environment can't be waiting.
I can't really raise our spirit that we talk about forest bathing which just made walking for a war, a walk with as many trees, flowers or graphs or whatever and that really does raise our boost so yeah it could go either way. Yes, we have to also look at you and a lot of people talk about well under tremendous amount of stress that all my God, I've got to get rid of the stress and it's just so stressful.
Let me tell you stress like everything else has two components. One is that it could cause you to absolutely begin to fall apart and to start getting medical illness because it rose your body for a loop. And it's the stress hormone cortisol which is injurious to your immune system and can leave you to develop all kinds of medical illnesses. The other thing is that there is a certain level of stress that is actually motivating and you have to say well, I've got to get this job finished, but I'm not crazy over it. Now go to get it finished and I will do my best and I've got a begin to start thinking that way so it's a matter of thinking of the stress and how you can control it and all of us pretty much have a level of control. There are some things we can't control over climate change. We can control it.
Whether it's going to rain today.
We can control, but we can control how we feel about it well works out better if we do our best.
Notice do our best really have to stay you don't like like engineers have been saying all along when they are developing very complex circuit and computer programs are things look this is good enough.
This is all I could do now. I will be satisfied. I've done it. I've tried okay I'm going to be good to myself. Now exactly that you get the fun will come up tomorrow must believe in that.
I think that's going to happen.
Look forward to when you know you're born that way.
It's in your genes. Your mother suffered a your grandmother suffered and how much of a barrier is not or can we easily compensate were not right urging a certain level of genetic component. There are people who carry a gene that will make them more readily be depressed or anxious. Yes, that support but you know it's like everything else it doesn't have to come out. In other words, these are almost like seeds to be put in the ground you have to read this and you don't have to act on right you have to look at your environment. If you were raised in a loving environment in an environment where somebody showed you how to handle different kinds of big, how to be confident, rather than saying you so stupid you can't do that. What's the matter with you. Why would you want to do that in the first place. Discouraging how you going to begin to feel about yourself.
Feel lack of self-esteem, lack of motivation, you all you want to do is sleep and escape and in the worst case scenario, you're going to think about ending it all on that terrible and that is really something that concerns all of us. Just remember there's almost everything that is going to have something where you have been put at you can't begin to help yourself change the thing that are happening to you. Do not be a miracle worker. What are going to be your own best coach you will begin to coach yourself to begin and I would say to people self talk is really underrated and I would think Dr. Amy L. And this is we will continue talking shortly. Life can bring many difficult situations domestic violence addiction is poverty and even sexual abuse by your loved ones. The issue is not stay there, but to overcome all obstacles and show that with the love of God, your husband and your family. You can succeed in love is the answer. God is the key word reveals Amy Cabo's life, a warrior who didn't give up and achieve the dream of her life. You can get to know more about her at her story on God is the key word.com or buying her book on Amazon.com. Welcome back to the shelf for this and adjusting in any And this is that you where talking to Dr. Farrell about depression, we are live on your radio and also on Facebook. Is this you will be available on podcasts search for the cure iTunes or any podcast I happened health and forgotten I've been tested that it's possible to build the house from pieces and I realize now that I needed something stems. Dr. Farrell sometimes we would suffer from depression, but I noticed and I realized in my life and a lot of my suffering, myself, touch. I created my own suffering, and these days I find ways to stop myself up feeling better and I've learned to do it the other way around something that a lot of people struggle with that could be situational is job stress.
There is a question from the audience shy this year from the life of mainstream has a question of how to deal with the job stress stress work right okay all of us have to decide to think which is more important to me for the job and if it's the job it's very important that I have to learn to accommodate myself in some way that will not be curious today.
In other words, I think one of the biggest problems on a job anywhere doesn't matter where it is communication. How do you communicate with the person, how do they communicate with you that some set up different way of learning how to talk to people how this sounds like all. Please don't give me that pie-in-the-sky idea know it's very simple. One of the things you have to do and I would recommend this to anybody is when they ask you to do something or they tell you what this is what it is what it is what it did you say help. Very simply, okay, help me to understand exactly what you would like. I would appreciate your help with that. If they see that you are seeing them in some way as willing to be helpful and willing to be and I use this carefully in some way superior to another. In a related. You just have to go along with this scenario.
This is the way you have to learn to live. So you say okay I've done is therapy all my life when I've had someone come in and therapy is always communication will come in and they will say something psychotic.
I never said that and you be surprised. I've used it and even with people who have completely opposite views we can have a great conversation just by starting at help me understand your views help me understand where you're coming from right window. You may be thinking the same thing you never know. You know I always say we can't be that bright that we stand everything and I always say please just make believe, five-year-old and then explain it to be as fully as possible in the simplest terms, I don't need complicated language. I just need a very full explanation and we could go from there. This is what you're looking for, and one of the things you don't ever want to use one word you don't want to use is why if you say to somebody why you are immediately setting yourself up for a confrontation because their back tears are going to get up.
You are now throwing down the gauntlet you are saying okay, this is war. No you say please let me understand help me to understand what you want me to. So why not instead a lot you know to say why. So you might know say okay I'll try but tell me how you think I should be doing yet. I would appreciate your help. I know that you probably have a good idea of this and maybe it hasn't occurred to me so I would appreciate your input lines would someone feel good.
They treat you better believe might help for feeling happy soft spot for feeling just as simple as our actions and you know asking for help is nothing wrong with asking for help. One of the best thing that you could do don't so that you understand totally or that you can do what they need because you may not know what they need or what they want or how they wanted. So make them clarify it and do it in a pleasant way. I know sometimes it's hard. Take a couple of deep breaths and allow yourself to calm down.
Don't get upset that's not going to help you be as calm as you can and just proceed with the nice conversation that will be helpful at that said, I made job stroke. We have just that I had I had to go to the hospital the other day with someone that needed to get something we had to talk to one of the individuals who work there and has worked there a long time and has a very specific job that she's been doing for 20 years and all they require is that she does to the technician. She does does this very Pacific job. The hospital has decided that they are going to cut back on their personnel and what they are then going to have to do is everybody there is going to do other jobs that they've never done before, that they may not be terribly qualified for. We don't know. They probably got training but it has stressed everybody. No one knows when they go in in the morning. What job they're going to they don't have a supervisor because that job right now is not filled this lady is under the stress and she is struggling because there's nobody for hard to talk to about this. The order just comes down to it and do it here someplace you've never done before something you've never really been doing much of before and tomorrow you don't know where you going to be and she has so yeah needs and yet the stress that you tell somebody you stress. Just try to relax. What is it that somebody can do is the work take over their life in making then stress.
I know that they can think of better priorities and stuff but sometimes they're just a focused on being stressed about work, so things can help a very old thing and I have a video on my website. Dr. Farrell.net relaxation breathing. I could tell you that this is one of the simplest and quickest and easiest way to help yourself to learn to lower your stress very simple breathing. It'll take you one or two minutes you could do it where you happen to be sitting go into the lavatory. Whatever you could go to the water fountain and you canoeing on the way I move you know everything being done to Pharaoh.
Please call Manila someone home 866-3426 348784 you.
I you and where back and thanks for joining any capital. This is the key here your life every Saturday at 1 PM.
Give me the key live on Facebook search for God is that year. The question our message by clicking and message to hear from you. I feel like God will always be there. I need anyone that we have to make it happen. Ernie is at least try to continuing our conversation with Dr. Farrell about fighting depression. Dr. Farrell when it comes to depression. Most of us will recognize someone that is depressed. What's the best to approach a situation professional when we are concerned that if we ask that usually if you ask somebody you depressed. Generally, those say no I may be in a very angry way. Of course sometimes depression does express itself in anger. You know, it just a lack of inability to tolerate anything. The other thing that we look for. Also, and this is kind of anybody could use this little kind of an inside look at what we do we say to someone hands you a clothing felt any by the booster on it now, or is it any any tighter on you now. What we're really asking is to have a change in your appetite because many times when somebody becomes depressed.
They will either go one of two ways they will lose their appetite entirely. They will stop eating normally, they might just need a little bit what I'm I just kind of drink water and maybe have a little fruit or something.
Or they will go on the other side, they will begin to eat lots of junk food. They will eat a lot of carbohydrates. Now I have to tell you." You nimbly hydrate have a chemical them which actually can fight depression and I once knew a nurse at a hospital, who kept an enormous file cabinet in the drawers in the file cabinet were filled with snacks that were very high in carbohydrates and one of the things that she did was she medicated by eating souls and potato chips and Twinkies and all of these things and that was kind of a way that she raised her mood a little, so we look that I'm trying to cut down Jordan on know I love that video, I don't know if anybody watches the television so the closer it curious that George is absolutely marvelous. She's a major police officer whatever to the commander but hope one kind of think that she can help yourself. Is she constantly aids Ring dings and she keeps a drawer full of the bedsheet.
She loves chocolate. Now we know that dark chocolate also helps with depression. It raises your mood. It has something ended to raise your boat. She uses a lot of dark chocolate.
She obviously has a very stressful job, but we look at the foods that they're eating the outbound 30 we look at how were they sleeping but they sleeping a lot because people who sleep a lot actually are engaged in a behavior that is at the escape behavior. They try to escape into sleep away from what's depressing them in their lives. They will not be able to sleep.
They will have terrible insomnia that very bad because if you don't sleep your physical health is going to be affected by so we look at those things we look at the fact that They concentrate on something I used to work at the make the disability to determination.
One of the golden rules was all in caps PPE can they made persistence pays and stay on a task without too much supervision, so if you can. If you could do a task that regularly maintain a desk okay depressed person cannot do that because they can't concentrate their minds is just working because only on their depression. They may also have feelings of guilt and worthlessness. This is a very big concern about because they feel this terrible guilt and you hear somebody say oh I'm going to give up. I don't care if it's not worth that I don't want to go. I don't go, I want to go along with this anymore. You have to take that very seriously. If a psychologist would someone said that to with psychology you would have to immediately begin to do an evaluation whether or not they were in danger of hurting themselves or somebody else that you might have to make an intervention of sorts of behaviors that exist to diagnose entity major depression disorder primarily if somebody's got major depression and a lot of women will get a major depression after they have a baby.
Postpartum depression is something that hasn't been recognized for years and that's really a shape of the terrible thing to go through major depression generally has to be treated with medication and if you were not an empty, you would have to refer to that person to usually a psychiatrist, even though I have to tell you that probably 60 to 70% of the antidepressant and antianxiety medication are now provided by either gynecologist or families that family practitioners, people don't generally want to go to with psychiatrist because they don't want to bear that stigma. If you go to with psychiatrist made that you still think, oh yeah, I'm crazy. I have no no, it just means that you need some specialized help. You may need some medication after the medication begins to work and also during that period of time you would work with somebody who would be able to help you in terms of the depression by using some what we call cognitive behavioral therapy. In other words, what are the things you could do in your life that will begin to make you feel better and I'll tell you one of the things that we recommend go to with things we recommend generally, right now, probably more than ever before. This exercise and I I just read a very interesting article the other day when you exercise people think all I have to go to the gym but I have to be good to get out, sweat, work out, go on one of these bicycles that they do with the gym. No, you don't have to do that. Actually, any small amount of exercise you do is going to help you think about it.
If you do any kind of exercise that something more than you did before. Now on your way so do any exercise due would during the day, whenever you feel like you want to pick up, but keep a dumbbell around the house to counter 1 pound dumbbell or something picking up lifted up a couple of times you don't have to live that up.
You can't look that up anymore.
Just pick it up. They call it greasing the group with the newest idea exercise definitely is something we we suggest people do the other thing we suggest is that they go out and begin socializing. I don't care if you volunteer or you join a group that does something you want to paint houses or whatever is being PC, meaning that communication right communicate I you have to and I would save maintain open communication with family to get them in your people and your family, or people in your neighborhood or people you work with, you know.
Enjoy yourself begin to allow yourself to enjoy other people don't allow yourself to be lonely. I think loneliness is one of the worst things you could do if you were depressed or anxious. Even if you feel like you have the bushes though, remember, things aren't easy to do if they were easy to do.
Everybody would do it. We would never have anxiety, depression.
I never want to do anything. I always want to sleep in after system is all the time just like that's it the right thing to easy writing course.
It's not easy but you know what what life you want to learn to cook the first part.
You have to learn how to first prepare the vegetable Daisy everything once you start it's a little hard after you do it a little less difficult.
And after you become good at while you said you felt look at this and I boat it was so hot and it's not open you yeah right and you will combat misdiagnosis is why some people are afraid to get treatment because of poor okay okay so we have been talking to Pharaoh, depression is: if you have been struggling with passion watching again 34874 leaving London back pain and human capital, and this is the key into the camera every Saturday at 1 PM Eastern on your media honor at the cure media options are also available via podcast. Please check it out here. We are lima Facebook messages look for the care, God can read online. We can sometimes sometimes it's hard to be just like Carol said that's exactly why I always need got here with me and when he speaks. I am free because his words are perfect for me. I love that song for doing by petition Pharaoh talking about depression and Dr. have to tell you one hour is not enough have so many questions for you and your such a wonderful world of information and right now we have a collar high tiles think if okay with me.
Are you guys like you think I wanted to add Dr. what's the difference between depression and will stay primarily is an anxiety disorder now include aspects of depression, but primarily it's in the anxiety disorders area and has very specific as you probably know very specific septum and is a very difficult disorder to help with. But there are new things that they are using now that look very promising.
I don't know if you read up on things like virtual reality that is being oh yeah I have rice okay good. Have you oh okay so what is been your experience with that. Why haven't I haven't tried it or something like that okay okay are you a veteran know I would. Okay because of the were on the question I was actually if you five years as a little boy and a boy so it yeah complex PTSD. Yeah right yeah, PTSD. Yeah, that must like I can imagine how difficult that wasn't, and probably took quite a few of quite a few years to try to come to terms with that and I'm sure that you will actually have laid dormant laid dormant in my in my fight, my head the longest time and what what I know of is that it's worth every year.
My drinking got bad, everything and just like all the women that are coming out and saying that they been abused and some people David they're just now coming out basically the immediate laid dormant in your psyche for a long time and then it comes out and then click absolutely yeah up there you go away or go away. Question goes away.
You know, I think, unfortunately, my personal opinion is that PTSD is probably very much like cancer. It is not going to be cured, but you are going to learn to begin to help yourself to deal with the symptoms and it will take. I think probably will bake your efforts even after therapy. It will take your ongoing efforts to really try to deal with that to understand that you were not responsible. You were a child and someone did a terrible thing to took advantage of your innocence and tried to get away. Destroy that and keep you a prisoner because the whole idea. I'm sure was.
This is the secret did not tell anybody about this consistent between the two of us and you're very special to me and that's why this has happened so yeah I get home I I've seen a couple of has been my practice to deal with persons who were abused in that way, but I have seen a couple of people in a psychiatric hospital setting, who were pedophiles and who prayed on young boys and got themselves job and I believe heard a lot lately, haven't we about exactly your me yeah sure you was okay and I mean you know this. Okay the other day a man who is a retired New York. The only lieutenant came out a probably and is what is Middlesex now or whatever and admitting to the fact that he had been abused by a big organization in New York City that everybody thought was doing the most wonderful things for the boys and keeping them off the street. Meanwhile, the place was was full of pedophiles.
I believe they they just had their pick of these kids who didn't know what was going on and when they found out were totally made blown away by so it's something that I believe is lifelong and you gave you have to keep telling yourself I'm strong I'll handle it, it happened but you know what, it's not good at describing a bigger than that and I believe that probably you know you don't have to be in therapy for the rest of your life but I've always said to people who come to bed.
I've had people who were in 9/11 and suffered terribly.
As a result of being in the building when they were coming down PTSD and didn't know what was happening to them. They just thought okay the building down bated realize what's going to happen to the I say look you go in therapy to get as much help as you can you go along with your life and if at any point in the future. Something comes up again you go back to therapy and to get some help. Like anything else you know you go for all kinds of regular things in your life that you have to go you have to go for another checkup another even if you had a car would have to take it in regularly for some kind of a little sex or whatever that probably and that's not a bad thing because all of us need help for up for the rest of our lives.
And if there's somebody can help us.
That's wonderful made it's not the way it used to be that used to be terrible, especially for males from learn to help ourselves, which to me is a long time. When the child if you will stay on the phone I'll send you my bunk. I was sexually abused since I was seven. On top so I II understand where you're coming from work, but Sherry you know it really is that I'm the different treatment you get the you're making that thick defect that cannot okay a lot of people to all my God, my mother did.
Oh, I don't believe that mother you use but I have thematically unable by your Even some of my people in my family member they don't believe because I came but the it was a large malpractice flock to Georgia for three 35 million. Okay hundred 20 5K so I'm how can you not believe that I look at my life-giving look at the emails and all the light in the left last year that are come out again. Physical abuse you. Every kind of you can imagine really. I don't have. I and and you have people pick out I'm leaving me there. People don't want to choose when it's ugly. That's a big part of the problem. The fact that people are willing to keep himself current and usually you know the abusers. Jim and I always say pedophiles are the greatest salespeople going. They have convinced everyone that they are they are absolutely you know the best place to go. They have the best motives and they only want to help kids usually include in our use to you soon. Do speeches for Planned Parenthood at one time they had a program to help kids learn to say no. Good touch bad touch and I can tell you that I knew when I was looking at that audience, usually of parent. I knew that sitting in that audience were pedophiles waiting to hear what I was going to say so that they could come up with ways to get around that and it is you have to believe the children children have no reason why to make up these stories. Look what happened with the big people out there on the West Coast. Even though would lie about something like that. Nobody wants to be in today show guys. We only have a few minutes left. Thank you so much Charles for coming on the goblet and guide you and encourage and thank you Dr. Farrell for being with your very informative. I'd love to have you again so many questions I didn't get to ask that there's always more information about Dr. Farrell just got it. God is the King.com and in the country. Guess Let's pray dear heavenly father, thinking that you never change, even when everything around me is changing and unpredictable. Thank you that you are stable even when I feel so very unstable. Please sustain protect me and enable me to stand. Please lead me to do the right source of help. Heavenly father please strengthen our hearts and remind us to encourage one another when the troubles of life start to overwhelm, please guard our hearts from depression give us the strength up to write each day and fight against the struggles which seek to weigh us down, I mean.com or on your part