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September 7, 2019 3:00 pm
On today's show, Aimee talks with Dr. Nikolov and guest Tina Yeager about the many ways women can empower themselves and each other to find their true selves.
THE CURE Live streamed podcast is hosted by Aimee Cabo and offers a platform of hope to anyone who has experienced domestic violence, abuse, mental illness, any trauma or is experiencing problems now in their lives. It's a place to find comfort, knowledge, strategies, answers, hope and love while healing the wounds and 'affirming' that you are not alone.
Join Aimee and her professional guests on The Cure with Aimee Cabo podcast every Saturday at 1 PM EST as it is recorded during the live radio show.
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Aimee hopes that anyone who has suffered abuse of any kind, or walked a moment in similar shoes, will find inspiration in these pages, and hope that love and truth will ultimately prevail. Please subscribe and share this podcast.
Aimee Cabo Nikolov is a Cuban American who has lived most of her life in Miami. After many years of healing, finding love, raising a family and evolving her relationship with God, Aimee's true grit and courage led her to pen an honest, thought-provoking memoir. Years of abuse became overshadowed with years of happiness and unconditional love. Now Aimee is the president of IMIC Research, a medical research company, a speaker, radio host and focused on helping others. You can read more about Aimee by visiting her website.
Dr. Boris Nikolov is the CEO of Neuroscience Clinic. You can read more about Dr. Nikolov and the work he is doing by visiting his website.
An award-winning author, inspirational speaker, and life coach, Tina also hosts the Flourish-Meant podcast and publishes Inkspirations Online, a weekly devotional for writers. Licensed as a counselor since 2005, she has over twenty years of experience teaching adults, teens, and children in academic, clinical, and faith-based settings. Tina enjoys working with diverse populations and has practiced in community mental health settings and private practice since 2000. She specializes in ADHD, stress management, abuse recovery, and esteem-building, and currently runs an online life coaching practice, Divine Encouragement, LLC. Yeager is a member of the American Association of Christian Counselors and holds a BA in creative writing and an MA in counseling. Find out more about Tina by visiting her website at https://tinayeager.com
Brought to you by MIC research length can bring many difficult situations, domestic violence, addictions, poverty and even sexual abuse by your loved ones welcome, Amy, and Q have no technical back on their life. Obviously from Miami on 880 and through our or our website God is to care.com. Please join us on Facebook asked. We are presently like staining and we can answer your questions from their it created the shell at the state space and to show that there is hope after going to difficulties despite any suffering no matter what type that come to find out that there is no one is exempt from suffering.
At one point or another in their life, but could still be suffering, and it's okay we have each other and also trying to use testimonies that could be helpful and I'm inviting professionals and inspirational speakers can get ducted suggestions as a survivor. I hope to inspire others and scare its transparency and find strength in knowing that those who suffer are not alone and that those that heal against insurmountable odds, do exist today we will talk about empowering women discovering wants to self seeking help in fulfilling a purpose and our special guest today is teaming eager to get there is an award-winning author of beautiful warrior and inspirational speaker lights coach licensed therapist and host of the florist meant podcast Tina, thank you for being with us here on the care today.
I'm here with Boris again or hear you. Yes, we sides of and it is really wonderful to have you again because we had a guy we it was wonderful meeting you at the CPE and it was great getting to know you then and so today we want to discuss things that I found that you had said were very important. For example Tina if he can discuss some of the common life women that lies that women and others believe women when they're not worried that they have to compare themselves to others, or they believe the lies of shame that any of our soul tries to press upon us and make part of our sense of identity that we are less than or that we are our pastor. We are what had happened and were limited by who we can be based on those kinds of things from our past. Even from our president that we have no potential beyond what we can see right in front of us and how do we know it's not our problem something that's broken in us or how can we recognize that we know it's polite and we don't continue believing it hard to recognize Elijah because a lot of times, life will start with a little bit of truth be tainted by something that is worth it so much that it becomes a lie. So for example if you have something that is a hyperbole like it always or never. I always make mistakes.
I never do anything right. If you are able to keep that kind of consistency in your life, you should win an award in the Guinness book of records is nobodies that consistent so if you see those kind of words in your talk about yourself inside your head.
You could automatically identify that must be a lie. Another thing that tells us that something is a lie is that it is not forward moving all things about our identity that are true should be forward moving, even if we've made me worse than anything that makes itself are frozen or paralyzed is usually some kind of indicator is that it's a lie and a lie will also try to distract us from God's truth and from our true purpose in our true positive sense of self that centered in faith and truth and virtual potential that will be something that tells us that we should be looking at the world standards and are approval from human beings at our performance at the roles or relationships were in the center of our identity is distracting as don't look at what God says, look over here instead of anything that's distracting to set up some other kind of standard of words or some other kind of measure of our identity. That is another key that it's a lie. So those are some of the things that we can recognize as components of a lie. A lie is very much based on illusion. It's like a magician on magician will teach you to be emotional about your response to something not factual, so if it's getting you to think very negatively or very angrily or it rooted in resentment or bitterness toward yourself or others. It isn't fully the truth because there's more to truth than our feelings why we are more like a lie than the truth.
So that's a really great question Amy. We are to believe the things that are closest to, and because were steeped in this world where so many things around us in social media in the contemporary media of other forms around us on television and movies and media to focus on the standards that this world puts in front of us on focusing our identity on all of these other things because we have people that will out of their brokenness in this treatise or say ugly things to us right in front of us all the time working to believe the things that we see and hear the most.
So it really take up to 10 times the amount of positive influences in positive messages to counteract a negative message so if we are surrounding ourselves with negative messages or things that shame us or things that aren't true or slightly distorted about the truth which becomes a lie than those of unity to things that we believe because were surrounded by and were exposed to it more than were exposed to the truth. Your children will believe the ceiling that is so true and more motivating for us as mom to want to feed our best thinking about our children, so that's a really great place to start to think how can I be more a model of believing positive truth that God says about me instead of all of these lies so that I can help my children think about themselves in positive terms to suit is what causes women to develop distorted self or what could be an obstacle to healthiest. There are so many obstacles again status in this world. A lot of women become friends like you have histories where they've been just talented and it had really really negative messages over them and against them at the history of abuse is going to be something that if that's all you know and that's what you see here and obviously that's going to take a big impact on how you see yourself to become the barrier to try to get over that guy can't help you get over that is your life story has shown you can overcome those lies, even if there really really strong and there is a pervasive life torn against you. This is something that you and God together can overcome and even those of us who have not been through the horrific stories of these we are still getting here. Those lies perpetuated against us from our culture because our culture is set to make us believe that we need to be something different. We need to buy this product or become more like this person or do something different in order to be good enough in the standards that we set beyond something you can ever achieve it. Drinking saltwater constantly going after that human approval which never satisfies us constantly going after that sense of performance never really satisfy that sort or six which never really is ever good enough. There's always a little bit more that will need to achieve in order to feel fulfilled all of those things are set again status of the barriers to us finding true fulfillment in the living water of Christ. That is our only true source of real self-esteem to be the only way because when I was being convinced, see, I believe that evil convinces you that and I went through a time that work that was very dark and nothing nothing. There's no way I didn't want to make myself feel better to want to think positive to want to change the language. The only thing was God. Once I realized that I really wasn't broken at somebody's putting the temptation my mind. I'm believing in him feeding once they realized somebody bigger than me.
That can actually fight that even if I didn't feel well enough that's what works for me that to reach out to other people to help them realize that how much the darkness comes against you. I can help you triumph of darkness and find the truth of your worth in him we do we do we do world where I work in the medical field. We do work with with medical research, but we also have a department that works with mental health and I see a lot I see a lot of women that are depressed and I try to tell them I was a guinea pig. I tried everything everything under the sun. Now, I do think bring everyone that can come on here and people have all kinds of ideas and people have tried many different ways and there is many things we can do besides music and meditation and everything but there's one common thing is that you have to put God first in your life and if you put God first in your life. Everything falls into into into order. Not only that Amy so many things have changed and it's it's been incredible.
It's been in my life. Let's say I did not like long that same that they I see things better now. For example, about allowing believing the limitations that others put on you or believing all because that this condition. This is why am believing in the notations that society puts on you and I sleep better now. I used to let for example, I was diagnosed EDD used to frustrate me.
I felt absent-minded but now I'm glad I get double the exercise when I have to return for something that I forgot all about limitation different way of being wired and limit God's side believing I was destined to suffer. Now I find something is not necessary for growth.
I thought I preferred the easier way now I don't copy and paste. I retype the word to practice my typing. I actually choose the harder out he used to feel overwhelmed by highs house chores now. I appreciate that it exercise and combine it with music, which is quite therapeutic for me and rainy days just to bring me down and I look at is an awesome opportunity to attend to the house and watch a family movie that all about our mindset. On his summary examples of how my life is change them. Happy about. I wasn't disciplined enough to meditate in the morning, which I know I should, so I combined it with prayer and kill two birds with one stone and the things I'm not so happy to do comes happy anyway because I learned to do everything for the glory of God and try to have it if it was good to combine it with the habit that we already have and I can help you do a hard thing by doing something very easy but it's not like continues as it was just you view things in a different way and your whole life changes and happiness that you get off said happiness that grows over time that the joy that centered and something that doesn't go away rather than just situational happiness based in our circumstances for this union. I'm your host Timmy, will, and this is the cure. Today she was focusing on empowering women and discovering wants to sell. We are joined by Tina Yeager, author of beautiful warrior this is the cure lie Friday at 2 PM Eastern. Now we can to do with daily gobble number two on your head. I have and today joined Tina Yeager were talking about empowering Tina how women hide behind you. How are you, our first response is fine that were not really find most women are experiencing some kind of struggle various times in our lives. There is a huge percentage of women who are suffering from depression or anxiety. You know you're around say people being honest enough to reach out and tell that I'm struggling with it. Can you pray for me. Do you have anything that you can tell me that would be helpful or supportive or really asking and situated you invite people to tell the truth instead were showing each other our best faces nationally on social media like on Pinterest and Instagram and Facebook and what is the men and women that goes know I do almost the same, then do it to show their best selves and I'm just simply speaking to women. Design the women laws every man will try to show their very best online. I think women are even more tempted to do that because they seek women's approval alive. Why do you suppose we do that, why do you wear a mask and put a space for I think were just trying to find human approval in this space that should be looking for God's approval and I think a lot of times people who feel they are not in safe spaces. They can't trust other people with the truth of who they are and what they're going through.
And there are times when you shouldn't be overly over sharing or being over transparent because the people around you may or may not be safe there should be safe spaces and shirt and you should be able to be transparent enough online that you're not whining about your life that you're being honest, that you are a real person who struggles with real things that we can connect in real ways with one another online and in person. Well, that's an important to be more careful. Maybe more if somebody's a very good actor or actress and we have no clue really upside.
Is there any look indications can we pick up so that it showing it sometime people like that are really good thinking that, but I think it will really asking in a way that it how are you doing a quick brief, and by her body language were still closed off to then if you lean in any slow down the way you asked that question. How are you doing.
Is there some way that I can be praying for you right now if you ask in ways that invite that person to receive bond from a genuine place, they're more likely to do so and show over and over again that you're a safe person. Sometimes it takes you being honest with that person for been a mother of small children to. I know sometimes it can be hard for you know anybody who would be taxed means hungry.
They're going to be listened to and heard some things he feels like they don't know how to pray.
Or maybe God does and sometimes it helps the priest was. You never know people think you were to pray to God that it really is all about listening to us having a conversation with him and not everybody understands that God is just hey God, I need you to prayer is a real prayer the deep prayer from a real place he got to be everything I could be you talk to about everything I can be every message and every song every message behind every inspirational speaker in my little 62 when she's completely asleep on top of me is so great. I think I can beat everything that's great. I've been in places where I've been in the grocery store asked somebody is working in the grocery store. How are you doing and I really meant it, and they would proceed to tell me they were just dying to be heard and if we would reach out more often and listen with a real caring heart and allow God to be that person. Between you and the other person to be the ears for you to be nice for you to see and hope you have the words to pray and listen over other people that we can enter genuineness really connect and become the hands and feet of Christ for one another about beautiful you said collaboration strengthens us far more than competition. Competition was healthy. We can be so that I think if we look at it the wrong way like we comparing ourselves to other people and that's our identity and that are worth then that becomes an unhealthy way of looking at competition.
We can be stronger if we work together. Otherwise, we can write because if you push away the people that you're meant to work with.
I try to put them down that process of competition. If you start to become one of those backstabbing corporate ladder climbing kind of people we are pushing out the very people that could be complementing our guests different guests and we could gross longer by putting those gifts that are different together and stated comparing ourselves to one another and competing against each other and pushing each other out of the way because there are abilities we were trying to always compare ourselves with others. We don't discover what gifts we have that are unique to ourselves. Yes, that's so true, and if you think your city else's gift, and it isn't your gift your to constantly be putting your energy trying to be something you're not, and never really feeling who you're meant to be. And you also incompetent. You're also a life coach and you incorporate probably be everything that you do you use empowerment by using the Scripture people are using Scripture and faith is such a strengthening healing thing. Looking at the Scripture through eyes of encouragement and hope, and live in CNET that was really God's intention for us to be in relationship with him and to be in healthy relationship with one another. It is when everything is all about in the whole of Scripture how much he loved that if the true is truly the greatest love story ever written.
You with the Scripture.
Where do we start inspirational parts will list a little rusty.
You know, I think I like the New Testament better yet. Any suggestions, all of Scripture is a love story that there are some better places to start.
If you're not familiar with it online love. Some of the song.
If you're in a hard place.
You can kind of pray through those you can recognize some beautiful things about your identity like in Psalm 130 it says that you are fearfully and wonderfully made it tough how God knew you before you were even born. And if we weed we start reading and the gospel and we can see God bringing himself to us in human form just humbling himself and being born into a feeding trough to come down and lay down his life for us and that's how much he loved that.
That's a really great place to start that it is really good if you start reading the Bible in conjunction with other Christians who can help you understand it through Bible study group because you may learn more that way than by reading it on your own Bible Bible apps.
You also say something very beautiful.
You say pickup pickup you sealed the word of God. Your identity in Christ and healthy thought patterns and become the divine heroine, you were destined to be as beautiful all women are heroes in God's eyes, because we can carry his light made women as life-giving and we can carry that light against the darkness of evil into the world and whether you have children or not we are still created as nurturers of life where encouragers we stand for the truth. We are warriors against the darkness in this world and whether you realize your potential in that are not yet recognize it's not just about what you can be, you're doing your own. It's what God in his infinite potential can come alongside you and empower you and equip you to do with his help, and most importantly, because thank God. God also realized there's also that sometimes the clothes you try to get to God the more upset he gets sick doesn't mean that you will not be challenged. It doesn't mean that you there will not be child's.
It just means you handle it so much better. You see it so much better. It's really only the way to go worry free trouble-free life yet now going into break for the union. I'm your host Amy Couto and this is the care live to be Friday at 2 PM Eastern on your radio God is to care.com and Facebook look forgot to secure on our optic your all shall shortly become a podcast afterwards. After this song will continue talking to Tina Yeager.
Love is the answer. God is the cure reveals from a very sincere and honest position. Amy Carbo's life, a warrior who didn't give up and achieve the dream of her life. You can get to know more about her at her story on www.godisthekeyword.com or buying her book on Amazon.com and now we continue with Amy Carbo and the 280 and welcome back on your hosting you Know where you live every Friday at 3 PM you like steaming on Facebook. If you look for God is that year we are doing today by teenager talking about empowering women 90 and purpose to our inner strength which comes to this question Tina, how do we unlock the secrets of our mental strength, but we need help thing that we can do on her and it's about finding that power and strength in our faith in Christ so hope that unlock those secret through his word through prayer, through the presence of the Holy Spirit can renew and he can help us to become more than we would ever be on her own drink and what habits can be negative for us. What should we replace it with two starting men both often get into a habit of talking down to ourselves. If you make a mistake saying 01, you know, this time I behind you like little shadow you actually write and speak to yourself in the worst way like you would never speak to your child that way or your best way we can start to treat ourselves like we would treat friend after all your to be living with you for the rest of your life.
You might as well be good friends right. I'm so stupid that's a complete okay all that was a very smart next time I'm gonna do a better Mrs. not to note in her book. I'll get it hard to stop unless you start recognizing it and replacing it with like you said a growth mindset that was.
Not the best idea. Let me try to do that again with yourself when you've made it say I hope will be a funny story at my next speaking event and have to tell that my kids they will all have a good laugh and have a good sense of humor with in about yourself is an important way to be your best friend when single double souls. Do you think you know it is some reason we like to believe the lie more than the truth is I don't know why.
I think that's where I think it was done on purpose so we can practice strength and faith. Otherwise we would fall for it so easily right. That's what I think I Scripture in the Bible that often is referred to as love chapter, first Corinthians 13 and people read it weddings alive, but I think we can use it when were talking about how much we should love ourselves. Love is patient, love is kind love doesn't keep a record of wrongs and reminded herself to be patient with ourselves to be kind to ourselves not to keep a record of all the things that we've done wrong and to go through that whole passage, and to treat ourselves with that kind of love that we would treat our house or our children or our best friends with all children of God like princes and because God is the King. So imagine if you are princes or prince, wouldn't you between yourself excellent because he belonged to a king. I would hope so.
Although we have some princes and princesses and people in high places much suffering.
If anybody else is doing it secret to so we need to learn to recognize that his daughter and sisters who are are princes and princes in this kingdom of God that he loves and the way to he sees this is what most important, not the way that other people see not the way the world standards the US but the way God sees us according to what he can do what he's going to do and what is his eternal future for us in heaven where we will be made perfect, and would be a God of justice.
The bad negative thought you get into your mind.
You are capable listening to. I thought the contract that's positive me which ones we want to believe right now the common ones that you believe right now and then right next to them something that's true and I'm so ugly and stand right next to that 139 passage that said, you are fearfully and wonderfully made, and right that is your truth decided to every time you want to say to yourself I'm so ugly. No, remind yourself, instead I fearfully and wonderfully made things are described in the Scriptures.
I mean you haven't read the Bible that I did see Jesus of Nazareth and will for me that was good enough and going to church now I will because I see that I'm really interested in how you use the Scripture to empower women and I'd like to direct them to that. Is there a website that you have that can has this information or how we can get our listeners to get your book well the available find it on my website or on the publisher's website at New Hope publishers. I don't actually have the list of Scriptures on my website that there are a lot of his seeming Scriptures in the book so if they will accept it there on the can even get the first chapter for a limited time for free.
They subscribe to my newsletter will get a little bit of it from there. You know the tape to see if they like the book and also I believe that your your life coach, counselor, I'm a licensed counselor and I practice like cooking online.
So anybody that is looking for a Christian life coach they can access that my website and contact me if they're interested.
Oh I Tina Gager.com there's no W that the front is 15 to Gager.com and that's why EA TER G.I. correct and just for listeners. Is there any advice you would like to give women that are starting on the world that you know things may look stacked against them. Use which will be our future and their sump right and you have so much going for them is there a piece of advice or a word of advice that you'd like to get sent to help them on their journey of life. I want you are precious you are. You vital in the kingdom of God, whether you have. Yet or not, know that you are loved so much by the Lord that if you were the only one he would come and died just for you to bring you into relationship with him.
That's how much he loves you. He knows you are suffering and his heart break for your suffering. He is there, your pain is so strong.
That's why you can't feel his presence because when were in pain. Even Christ said, Lord, why did you forsake me when he was on the cross because his pain was so great he could no longer feel God's presence when were in pain and so we feel that God is there, let me reassure you that he cares about you and he can do more in your life that you can see right now but there is somebody else on the other side of your suffering is waiting for you to get through this and if you can trust God if you just trust that one step first step asked him did he there for you to help you make that first step.
He will help you. He will bring people into your life to help you. Just pray and look for him to be there for you because he loves you dearly and he's got other people on the other side of the suffering place because this is not all there is there is hope. At the end of this you can become that woman who reaches out like Amy other people on the other side of that suffering place and listen up from the darkness that your testimony will become something bigger than your moment of pain right now is powerful people you, it's me, for someone to see now have the right family members with opinions and grew up people telling us those things so out there that doesn't either, these are your words nice so life coaching. This is also something probably how bingo ongoing blood from Becky exactly how long life coaching has been around.
I started as a counselor, so I'm not really sure because his. I was using what is life coach because it's a kind of a lot of things I guess to guide you through life planning counseling will look backward and it's more focused on diagnosing mental health issues and helping people with treatment of those issues so they can move from the past or the present state of illness or status of trauma to move forward and necessary valid place on that life coaching is just about where do I want to go on the way to my doing that is blocking my life or what is going on in my life that I can change like to move forward and reach goal run my life against IDS suggestions. According to individualistic according to what that person would benefit from. I guess that taking your life to help you organize help you move forward to help you change habit and behaviors and do things in a better way.
This can help you reach your goals might be a better idea than going to a counselor or that could be like counselor to life coaching is counselor 2.0 hours diagnosis that you're working on with life coaching but if you have a mental health diagnosis is probably good counseling will that's the case, we feel like counselor and a life coach. Maybe it's about tuition you smarter. I guess it's people who so since life coaching is not mental health counseling old different different diagnosis is rising God like a life coach, Holy Spirit could be a good life coach and hope to have a human being there helping you through it with you is telling you something about doing the Bible gives you guidance you and by the way, and so does the Holy Spirit whether we are aware of your personal attributes present to you through understandable way. Yes, you write you right place for all of that and I think I'd use that to help one another, and thus look like a substitution for mitigation either. Absolutely not know if it's a good way to go to someone to know that your site states because I think sometimes people when they have problems they don't want to tell their friends and other people because they wanted to pass them.
They don't want to be the bearer of bad news over don't want to carry on the negative conversation they want to be only know is worthy and actually helpful for the person suffering because they can ignore for the walk for a while and ability person can make sure your following through on the documents that need to be taking your life and it's also somebody's willing to listen is willing to go see that you don't carry that guilt of burdening the person exactly something smart like a business coach I have to have to tell you I'm very grateful for my business for our business coach because the business coach had us take a personality test and at this time I did not great self-esteem. Although I put up a good act but but anyhow then I did this personality test and I find that some really neat and interesting strengths that I had that I didn't know I had.
For example, I did not know I was a problem solver. I stop include pendent because of non-solving everything on my own, so it opened up my eyes having the best because the business code had me take this personality coach, whereas a life coach can open somebody else's eyes.
That may not have known these things otherwise.
Also, the thinking Latina. It's been wonderful and hence am so glad that I you had such amazing information to share with the in such kind words and I really appreciate your presence. Thank you so much for joining us.
I think I'm actually ending a little early today because I know that you special and so are the cell, I have something special for the third song today. Again, thank you Tina for your part really are a warrior and honored to be on your show obsession. More information on teenage anger can be found on Amy Campbell.com under guess. Please check it out and get her book, beautiful worrier on the host any capital.
This has been the cure. Thanks for listening, please go to any capital for previous shows was brought to you by IM ICU research 786-310-7477 or www.God's word.com to name every Friday at 2 PM with Amy, right here on 880