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30- Living with Mental Illness

The Cure / Aimee Cabo
The Truth Network Radio
July 5, 2019 10:20 am

30- Living with Mental Illness

The Cure / Aimee Cabo

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July 5, 2019 10:20 am

On today's show, Aimee talks with Dr. Nikolov and guest  Gabe Howard about the challenges of living with mental illness.

THE CURE Live streamed podcast is hosted by Aimee Cabo and offers a platform of hope to anyone who has experienced domestic violence, abuse, mental illness, any trauma or is experiencing problems now in their lives. It's a place to find comfort, knowledge, strategies, answers, hope and love while healing the wounds and 'affirming' that you are not alone.  

Join Aimee and her professional guests on  The Cure with Aimee Cabo podcast    every Saturday at 1 PM EST  as it is recorded during the live radio show.

You can find information about the show and past guests by visiting the  RADIO SHOW PAGE.

You can also view the weekly  Video podcasts  on Apple Podcasts.  

Aimee hopes that anyone who has suffered abuse of any kind, or walked a moment in similar shoes, will find inspiration in these pages, and hope that love and truth will ultimately prevail. Please subscribe and share this podcast.

Aimee Cabo Nikolov is a Cuban American who has lived most of her life in Miami. After many years of healing, finding love, raising a family and evolving her relationship with God, Aimee's true grit and courage led her to pen an honest, thought-provoking memoir. Years of abuse became overshadowed with years of happiness and unconditional love. Now Aimee is the president of IMIC Research, a medical research company, a speaker, radio host and focused on helping others. You can read more about Aimee by  visiting her website.
Dr. Boris Nikolov is the CEO of Neuroscience Clinic. You can read more about Dr. Nikolov and the work he is doing by  visiting his website.


GABE HOWARD is an award-winning writer and speaker who lives with bipolar and anxiety disorders. He’s the host of the weekly Psych Central Show, an iTunes Top Ten podcast. He also co-hosts A Bipolar, a Schizophrenic, and a Podcast, which explores life through the unique double lens of a young woman living with schizophrenia and a guy living with bipolar. He also writes for WebMD, Psych Central, bipolar magazine, and other distinguished publications.You can read more about Gabe by visiting his website at

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Brought to you by volume ICU research life can bring many difficult situations, domestic violence, poverty and even sexual by your love ones welcome Amy Cobb and the Q about the care I was joined by Boris my partner working in her kite story. We created this out to see space. He said that there is hope after going to difficulties in their lifetime trying to ease testimony to that effect and inviting professionals and speakers that can help with suggestions as a survivor. I hope to inspire others encourage transparency and finding strength in knowing that those who suffer are not alone.

And those who heal against insurmountable odds to exist. Last week we were talking about alternative approaches for help with mental illness and today we want to continue talking about living with mental illness and the existing stigma. Today's guest is Kate Halbert gave Howard is an award-winning writer and speaker who lives with bipolar and anxiety disorders.

He's the host of the weekly psych Central show and iTunes top 10 podcast.

He's also a cohost of a bipolar schizophrenic and a podcast which explores life to the unique double length of a young woman living with schizophrenia and a guy living with bipolar. She also writes for web MD psych Central bipolar magazine and other distinguished publications gave.

Thank you for being on the show America.

We're here gave it's it's wonderful to have you here as well and for our listeners that may not be aware of what bipolar is pouring society or depression. Could you tell us a little bit about what it is that you deal with on a daily basis. What you struggle with and what you had to come tell us a little bit about what is bipolar and what kind weathers bipolar one, or to any symptoms if challenged with and if symptoms basically are: one. And the big question regular lovebird questions right off the Lutheran warmed of art. I really appreciate it and it is such an important question and one that so many people are afraid to ask and you right away. I think everybody is familiar with mental illness and bipolar and anxiety all the wrong information because they think of the good. I don't want to discuss food or political had a whisper among themselves and you know when you're not really engaging in talking and learning. We get the answer well we get along almost all the time so so thank you for being so direct, I just want to start right there requires any legally get the information from what was which I'm sure these are the extreme cases and people are not aware that there's a bipolar one is a bipolar two. I didn't even know there was a bipolar two until I was diagnosed with it and you know you're you're up." The extreme or the other television I have the same that I talk all the time and I say that with bipolar disorder is a Republic and wellness with bipolar disorder is very private. Walking down the street you know going to work, paying my bills run my errands. I look like a boring 40-year-old guy nobody there about bipolar guide going to the grocery store to say there's that regular looking guy going to the grocery store but became symptomatic in the grocery then you ever really talk about what others would bipolar guy started yelling at the creamed corn to back it up in your answer so people know you know exactly what you're dealing with so bipolar disorder is defined as extreme low to extreme highs and everything in between. On that spectrum so extreme lows would be your suicidal depression and extreme highs would be your your godlike mania. I say godlike because it really is this this consequence free, all-knowing, incredible feeling that of course it is based on nothing. If you have all of this confident and none of it is deserved. You have all of this knowledge and none of it is correct and you have this idea that you are invincible and consequences don't matter about which of course is nonsense consequences matter to all of us no matter who we are. Mania feels like a little course, I always like to point out the back and forth so sometimes will be right in the middle will be quote unquote normal goal and everything is fine I and in some ways that's part of the list because when you're in the middle when you're normal when you're typical when you get the job that's when you went to meet the love of your life. That's when you make the friends that's when you build the relationship you know all the things that you lose when you become something that's really what the illness is a back-and-forth on the god-awful people talk back and forth on a daily basis are becoming dull or is it something that is systematic like for long time. For example, depression has to be persistent over a period of time and the reason I'm asking this because I'm not familiar for me. Bipolar two is just mainly depression. Depression, on time, does not rise maybe a little bit you feel okay that it is basically characterized by depression, that's more severe than major depression with maybe one or two nights sleeping one or two hours or a few hours spent I put it sell you my story that I'm not familiar with bipolar one.

I know that for me can last a few hours during the day a few days or a few months. How is it for you.

Bipolar wanted bipolar to and why they sort of cut it up. Nobody wanted bipolar two lockable of a better analogy will enable zero on the scale and in general being like the wars of aggression that you can imagine. Bipolar wanted bipolar two are both on that scale starting at zero. Now the person who has bipolar one somebody like me all the way up to 100 hundred is is is the most delusional mania that you configure like you think you can fly.

That is how manic you are. That is, the mania is all encompassing all gripping and again you really do think that you have become some sort of you know deity on high with magical superpowers.

Popular can you stop yourself Not when you get to know when you're all the way up there at number 100 I mean by then, you're so far gone yeah it yeah I really important, but the bipolar two will stop around bipolar two manic hypomania versus mania really the big difference.

Other little differences here and there, of course, that know doctors quibble about and any and all important to get good care for individuals, the big difference, but whether or not it days or weeks or hours or minutes. It can be depending on who you are and how bipolar disorder reacts to the individual question is yes. It always seemed to move back and forth every couple of days you might have a my moods would last a couple of days before they made whiplash, but the depression would hang on for longer and and the year that I ever had. I held on for almost a year and it you can do a lot of damage when you think you're invincible.

And when you don't care about consequences is medication helpful to care for medication is medication is is it really hard to say.

Medication is the single best treatment because if you only have one treatment for bipolar disorder, you're probably not gonna live a good life. But medication is the really your most needed site. I feel very uncomfortable saying that every single person must do X because I like to speak in absolutes because I really do believe in yourself to find recovery and and being able to make your own decisions, but I gotta tell you somebody with bipolar one. There is no way on earth, but I could control my emotions with coping skills or therapy management. I need that medication to take to get me to a point where I can notice symptoms and where I can manage symptoms and where I can make better choices and I need that parakeet to learn what those choices are also it's not medication is important. Therapy is important experience is important.

Coping skills are important. You kinda need all of it to live well and that that's really the message that I get up and yeah medication is really about the single best way to control the symptoms of the you have the best chance of shining through.

While you are not allowed on any medication to anything is about you know bipolar is that people when the Wendy's seer bipolar because that limited information that they have light ever clinician exposes us to.

For example, and it doesn't matter whether it's bipolar wanted bipolar two people tend to be scared of people who have these conditions and after a certain stigma that comes with a wet as considering people like us as needy people are crazy people. Have you had any encounters yeah it is really what people believe and it's even tougher when you consider I consider personally that I believed all of those things to before I was diagnosed, I understand why people feel this way. I don't want somebody who is crazy or insane or I can't control their their their their brains are who make bad decisions to be in my order I don't think any of us do. I know I don't want somebody who is your part, pardon the pun. I don't want somebody insane to watch my dog and if you have the very narrow definition of insane to encompass all people living with mental illness, then you're gonna knock a lot of people out who frankly don't deserve it and that's really really tough because that education isn't out there so people believe that if you have X you must be why. If you have bipolar disorder, you must be unreliable, dangerous, stupid, uneducated, whatever.

I may just fill in the blank and enemies persist because nobody really challenging these misconceptions wakes up and pay all people with mental illness are violent and all the people around them like a track with some good and everybody does believe that because nobody is using them. I got challenged hard because I was diagnosed with it diagnosed with bipolar disorder and the first thing I thought it was oh my God, thank God they caught it before I was violent I could've hurt my family.

I could've hurt my friends are people that I deeply, deeply care about doing heroic 25 years all I have never had any propensity for violence just because I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I thought that it was aberrant, but the violence was coming and it just hasn't caught up with me yet again complete hogwash people with bipolar disorder are not in fact more violent than the rest of the population does not is not for the people of disorder can't be violent. They can but we see violence.

Unfortunately, everywhere we see violent weekly violent and teachers we see violence in spouses and families and unfortunately violence as well. I think it's important to know the past people's fault because I do have a friend that's bipolar one that some people are you know they're scared to come around him and stuff that I see beyond the past that I see the good heart and I see that he's a wonderful person and is important for people to realize that regardless of the conditions we have 11 mental week we could have but still human was still people wish that the people we still have a high week. We still feel when not when I mean when somebody different. We will be right back with Amy, and the cure on 880 use and now we continue with Amy, and the 218 80 cell with you has any cargo joint. If this is your first time today when talking to Kate Holland living with mental faith. Earlier were attacking about stigma associated with mental and I know that he can meet a person feel isolated and alone and there, it can bring about depression and exciting about performance that I mean she would know a little bit more about this since you brought about, isn't a whole and other observations little bit about that plea you know mental illness is a whole lot of swear on the show.

People are afraid of what they don't understand that's really where we get into trouble as he sees in general, humans are more afraid of noises that we here in the dark that we don't know what they are and if you think about that for a moment why we assume that because we don't understand what the noise is, it must be a bad noise when realistically noises are innocuous. There are not positive or not negative the pointless but we hear that noise and we can't immediately identify it.

We immediately get scared.

What things that go bump in the night and it again. The reality is it's nothing. This is power program so people hear about your bipolar disorder and David's been in the hospital he was in a psychiatric ward.

He was really tricky he wasn't in control and you know doctors took him and put him in the Lord's counsel scary and psychiatric Warden insane asylum and I hospital I was in the hospital being treated by doctors because I was sick. I got treatment I got well and I was relieved that all that happened, but psychiatric Warden mental hospital in insane asylum. That sounds much, much scarier is that once the doctor got better physical hospital visit dance and there's a happy they got that they could get a mental hospital, and I know I did when I was a kid and you are you weird we don't understand you afraid of you and I think it's important to just speak accepting and forgiving and loving and nonjudgmental because I mean perfect.

We all have our things that God equally left and when it's now okay if you have some helpful tips for anyone is living with these conditions. Whether it's bipolar depression, anxiety, any practical advice for how to facilitate the stigma and living as you have.

Don't ignore it.

I know that we love to pretend that were not even a mental health thing that I think that we all have that person in our life just refuses to go to the doctor. No matter what happens to them in my life with my grandfather.

If you want to go to the doctor everything is 88 years old. There's nothing wrong with them. My my grandmother is constantly yelling out he does but he don't go to the doctor because he's worried there's something wrong with him. He goes the doctor to make my grandmother happy and there's a lot to learn from them because every time you go to the doctor. My grandmother was like there was something wrong. Don't ignore it. My grandfather believe that ignoring his physical health will keep him alive forever.

The reality is rated to 88 because my grandmother smarter than he is the mental illness is gonna come for you. Whether you believe you have it or not you can you can win with. You can beat it the way that you can take control is by acknowledging it by admitting that you have depression or anxiety or you know what what whatever it may be and then fighting it head on learning what coping skills you need so that when it does you no rear its ugly head. You are ready for it and that you can sort of Guilford for lack of a better word counterattack. A good defense is really really really good offense and went to the doctor and reporting all of your symptoms and taking her medication as prescribed and being honest about what is happening to you all the things that are going to get you as close to wellness as humanly possible. The last thing we talk about this for hours and hours and hours are not cover everything. I think that sometimes people need to realize that living well with mental illness doesn't mean symptom-free.

So many people tell me you know Dave, I want to do as well as you. Why am I not doing as well as you; why do you think you're not doing as well as the umbilical because you don't have any symptoms not true. I have all kinds of symptoms and I manage those symptoms that I get treatment for the symptoms.

You cannot define wellness as symptom-free.

You have to define wellness and in some other way for me gave Howard. I believe that recovery with bipolar disorder means I spend more of my life living my life than I do. Managing bipolar disorder. So as long as the majority of my time. I'm just doing all kind of boring stuff, you know, hanging out with my wife going out with the grandkids.

Whatever is wanted by doing those things.

More often than I managing bipolar disorder. I consider myself beating and living recovery with mental and I think about the better powerful way to think because of your waiting to be symptom-free. That would happen say keep yourself busy dealing you mentioned your wife how is it for you life support systems that let it happen. It tells that family members of people dealing with bipolar depression, anxiety.

How can they be supportive to those people to us like what I great question. And again, I could probably speak for hours on it but there is a couple of things that I think that we need to think about and edit it when we talk about our our family and friends helping us to mental illness and the first one is is is all you ever talk about with your family member or friend with mental illness that mental illness because of it is yet Problem I want to talk to somebody that every time I walked in the door. They immediately wanted to discuss my illness because that's awful. I just so sad. I want to talk about sports or movies or TV shows or I talk about politics all the time help for Kiam and I mean that every time I see my loved one. I tell him, tell me about your bipolar will gather there's a problem you have to many other questions please be aware of that but that's the first piece of advice that I have right out of the gate.

If all you're trying to do is be there caregiver then yeah that's that's not much of a relationship is it what you better better like anybody feeling sorry for me. I want to be just a regular person you know you everybody and that reason a lot of people had no idea what I went through my past anything on type mad about biography and that's that's the killer that they had no clue there like my letter went to anything, and because I just take great pride in being strong and I think that's the main character survivors that were coming up in a break. So for this tightening in.

I'm your host Amy capital and this is the care you can listen to every fight at 2 PM on your radio Amy,.com Amy early in the pot. Love is the answer. God is the cure reveals from a very sincere and honest position. Amy Carbo's life, a warrior who didn't give up and achieve the dream of her life. You can get to know more about her at her story on buying her book on and now we continue with Amy, and the 218 80.

Thanks for joining the campaign in Macon every Friday at Amy,.com and remembered to Colleen if you want to share if you have Nancy stay positive despite living with mental steel.

55412350K thank you for staying also had another idea to be able to live with what you living with your bipolar and your anxiety and your depression. Talk about playing games and you say that paintings have a positive effect which you like to expand on this anything that you can do to lead a normal of a life if possible just to have a tremendous amount of value II think that we can get all her focus on surviving.

And I know that sounds ladylike later, you're saying that we shouldn't be. You know there's more than one way to set a table for lack of a better analogy if all you do is get up and think how am I going to survive today. Then after a while you start to wonder, do I want to survive because my my whole life is made up of trying to live in an strong proponent of finding things that bring joy playing games, watching, going to concerts taking a walk, watching television, even whatever it is you do these things because the powerful and because they're meaningful and because they provide quality of life and a lot of these things are are social in nature, which is why I kind of zero in on games a little bit because I think that you can't in general play games alone. There's always some social component whether it's online whether it's a board game, whether it's whatever you're generally doing it with somebody provide that human connection that I think of powerful people as well get it. It doesn't have to be a game, it can be whatever but again it all you're doing is be doing out how to survive but you're not answering what I think is a very important question, which is why do you want to survive. What do you want your life in your your legacy to be about right in the.a connection with people.

Our interaction with people. That's why they're so important and I know that my bank. My main diagnosis is PTSD. My physical symptom is depression for which nothing that doesn't need to be anything going wrong. I can just wake up feeling very bad and I started with prayer that led idea because I'm alone. Everyone's gone to depart onto worker the kids are in school you know when I'm feeling okay.

I try to keep busy. I tell you something that will make me feel better and it's no longer buying something or turning to alcohol or drugs because I learned it And what is pleasing to God. I believe if I clean the house. I will be pleased and to my surprise, it's quite therapeutic for me. Combined with music and it's great exercise is an obligation I can ask my husband to hire me that I would like to spend the cost. Besides, in need would be very expensive and life is expensive. I like to set myself up for think that'll make me feel good, like I go for a ride. I need share I have to company might be a very good friend to the kids. I listen to music and you know and then this anything you think and keeping the house clean so that I don't feel like I take the way out or I take a shortcut like I'm being lazy. It makes me think it.hi company to promote a vehicle better quality of life for myself and for others, and I get the credit to God and his glory.

My prayers and sacrifices on behalf of the sinners and my love I get to people I also besides pay here. I try to do as many good things as I can. That's what helps me with feeling bad.

For example, sacrifices important in some scenes collect 10 or whatever you want to collate now in a neon right like my mother claims she did when she was when she cropping a noncontent may sacrifices be something more simple like exercise, I have avoided at all cost. I guess I don't care for her pain exercise is painful for me. Why because I get in my all and everything that I I give my best.

I believe that if you do something right and make account because everything counts in life. If it really is a blessing so basically I I try to do that I can to keep going and make things right because life goes. Hi Gabe this is Boris. We got a question online from Facebook ladylike sundries asking Kelly leaf with depression without medication or anything. I think that it is tough. I am not a doctor and obviously I don't know your situation specifically but I will say that the question becomes, to me whether or not you can or cannot live with depression without medication. It works the concern like what I live with. Fill in the blank without medication conversation between you and your doctor and you're looking outside of the medical establishment.

It seems like maybe you already have an answer. Maybe you want the answer to be no and I understand that I don't want to have any weaknesses I I want to I want my body to be perfect hundred percent of the time. I don't want to have to eat what I want to have to exercise it when I have to drink water. I don't have to shower, get a haircut or to Minnelli.

I want my body to be completely perfect in reality sometimes we need a little help and somehow we don't. Nobody says oh you're so you have to get your hair cut, but the mental health treatment and you know people like well I don't know maybe you should be strong enough not to need it and I reject all about that's all hogwash.

Whatever interventions you need in your life from friend, family support for the medical community that gives you the best life possible.

I think that part of the plan.

I think that part of the design and I think that you should embrace it so I don't know whether you can or cannot, especially from a medical standpoint but but again the reason that you don't want to is because you're sort of buying into the stigma surrounding the treatment of mental illness. Please don't. My life is so wonderful because I got good medical care.

I'm now married house on vacation. I'm I'm I'm present with my family and friends in my life and I would have none of that. If I was still trying to beat mental illness without medication. So again, that that's just my personal journey, but sincerely I see so many people that reject the help because they want to do it on their own.

Certain things in this world that we can't do on our own so upset and also is the never ignore the medical say opinion. Go to the doctor and I have another question from anonymous as she's asking should I tell my boyfriend I guess that she saw that I have bipolar I understand why people act like should I tell fill-in the blank that I have mental illness and and I always point out you bad.

I mean, could you imagine if somebody you replace the word bipolar with you.

No cancer or diabetes.

Yeah you know what everybody would look at you know it well why would you not tell your family do not look for somebody to talk about mental illness.

People like oh I wonder what the answer is that being said I gave Howard I tried to hide it for a while.

I tried to hide it you know not not not for my close friends and family, but from work and from acquaintances and from the larger and it really really eat me up inside. I just don't like how can I be sure that this person cares about me or love me when they don't even know me and how can I be certain that I care about them when I'm not willing to share certain parts of my life with them and it is a decision that is very very individual. You know some people are overshadows all kinds of an end, and you know some people are more private and again it is a very personal decision that I gotta tell you, living with bipolar disorder is is difficult and the more people in your corner, the more people who can connect with you and help you and understand you that has enriched and helped my recovery 20 fold.

It's been so so valuable that if I tried to do it all by myself so I II say yes, but I do acknowledge that there could be concern where people may need not to. Especially the case of like workplace or smaller communities or things like that. It's sad that we have to have the discussion gave me Boris knows the more difficult house. I was try to look for the bright side of everything that helps me because it helps to be grateful house to look at the bright side of things, it helps to be grateful for. You are where you are, what you have. I think she Things happier life.

And just to be accepting of things and you don't like thing I was about this.

You can have hard times it can be upset to be depressed to be perfect.

You can make mistakes and you can have faults, it's learning lesson and that's the experiences that we go through in life and it doesn't because Pat doesn't make us as it doesn't make it a bad person or anything like that. We just have to realize that we have to be forgiving ourselves and others heavy understanding understanding is possible. One of those words because like the perfect weather is like 70, overcast and no rain with a light breeze in the fall. I love the fall for the majority of my family.

They loves, they love to be on the beach. They love to go swimming. I would never get so they wanted to be like 90 to 90 and get other people there like Noto. I love the winter you cozied up next to a fire with hot cocoa going skiing in the morning so what each one of us is describing perfect weather.

Even though in completely different seasons. I decide what's perfect. Choose wisely. I think it's time I think that's all that's required is time to again fail to maintain again. Persistence pays and if you can learn a lot by failing sure you really believe that I love to fail, really I want to succeed at everything I do the very first time. I don't want anybody to think that I malls and I'm not. I want to succeed number one with little effort. That's not reasonable.

I fail constantly and I look at how I fail. I make adjustments but I try again because in my mind.

I believe this if I eventually succeeded but I never failed. It was just part of the journey.

Those are just the trial and error to get me here and yeah, if I quit well that I failed.

I tried something I failed and I never did it again.

That in my mind it is kind of what failure looks like. If you try and you keep trying like you said eventually you succeed and those things were failure.

Great story and one that myself. Thanks to my guests. Things I learned to accept compassion in exercising helps meditating and axing thing about God and reading books about things that Satan and I'm letting my things I should be grateful for the good times and bad times get things in life because it is God and to meet inspirational articles noticing to get advise writing down your thoughts and desires listening to company musique petting your furry babies, including then the love that you can return is very much worth.

I try all kinds of things.

That's what you have to do to keep trying to give up its erasure for purpose here for a reason. It's worth fighting for.

Thank you so much Keith. It's hard to believe guys come to the shell once again thank you all for listening and gave thank you for being a most wonderful cast on Ashdown. For more information. For more information gave it can be found in and you guessed this has been the chair and you just any Thanks for listening.

Check my website indicated that, fisheries with Amy, was brought to you by IM ICE research 786-310-7477 or Tune in every Friday at 2 PM with Amy, right here on 880

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